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PO'd at Family Reactions

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Bec,
Im glad you have been leaving your dad pamphelts and articles...you will see that he will be there for you the way you need him to be once he understands better...i went throught that whole stage of "why the heck is my own husband doing this to me!!" when in fact it was nothing personal and he had PTSD...

It helps to know that this seems to be an issue with our loved ones
of course it is! we have no idea what you are going through
In a way, its almost hard to catch PTSD and what its all about because there are so many different things involved with it! (from a million different emotions to depression) thats why we need the education... even i am still learning!
and yes you are the stronger person in this situation and it is obvious and i am glad! You will be ok...Anytime you need to vent to someone who is hardhaeded like your parents you are more than welcome to talk to me...i will admit i was hardheaded to a point...i regret it of course, but i was willing to learn and now i am able to be there in a better way...a more understanding way for my husband. And i want to be there for anybody who reaches out as well...because i know how hard it is and everybody needs understanding.
 
Andrea:

Don't let that regret linger. You DID learn about it, you DO support your husband, you DO support others like me! Those are all amazing and caring things! You should pat yourself on the back for that.

Don't forget to take care of yourself! That's just so important!!

I think all the spouses on here are amazing for putting up with people like me! All of you need to give yourselves more credit!!

Bec
 
I'll second that! Having everyone here for support is a life-saver, but I'm betting that actually having someone who cares with you while you deal with ptsd effects makes a huge difference. 3 cheers for spouses and partners - I raise my non-alcoholic beverage to you all!
 
Thanks so much for the kind words Bec! It means a lot to me considering i do beat myself up quite a bit....but it seems its something i just cant help..But i also do feel that i do have a caring heart and i would love to help those around me including anyone here...i dont always know how to unfortunately (nobody is perfect) but i have every intension to help & i do try my best.

And a big thank you to you Piglet!!~ i hope you are doing well today :-) you girls made my day better :-) You guys are going through something you cannot control or can control to a certain point, yet you have no idea how much YOU have helped people like me who want to understand! its amazing! And if they do not now, those around you will understand too and be able to be there for you.
 
Yeah, I found it to be much like slamming my head up against a brick wall when trying to confront the issue with my family years ago, as well. None of them want to hear it, or they want to minimize it, or straight out try to rewrite history altogether. It has to be extremely difficult for them to see it for what it really was, because that would make them culpable and probably increase their guilt to unbearable levels. So, I basically gave up on trying, instead focusing on myself and my kids rather than trying to get them to acknowledge the truth and stop blaming me for the crimes committed against me. However, that doesn't mean that it doesn't bother me from time to time when it comes into my mind even to this day.
 
This point really bothers me everytime my mother comes up in conversation. I know that my therapist will be starting on this subject with me soon, so maybe it will help me cope with it?

Bec
 
OMG, my mother just dropped in... GRRRR

What a fun conversation that was!! NOT. I got the whole, well my life was much more traumatic than yours and I don't have PTSD, crapola.

So then I find myself comforting my mother since she is just incapable of handling anything. The poor thing. You know it's so hard being abused by me when I tell the truth and it hurts her feelings.

Then she told me that no one can express feelings around her since she can't handle it, since we are all abusive to her. So, I'm not to come over to her house unless I'm an emotional robot. CAN YOU SAY PITY POT!!!!:cussing:

It's not like I go there to begin with!! And this is my house, if I want to be emotional than I bloody well will!!!:angry-fla

God, she drives me nuts.

One good thing though, I used a grounding technique to not pick her sorry butt up and toss her right onto the street!! Now, I'm going to go smoke and mull over my disgust.

Bec
 
sounds like my family

That sounds like my family. I told my pastor about what happened to me. He said that outside of support groups and counselers I probably was best not to talk to anyone about it. Why? I asked. He said "People can sometimes try to give advice that isnt always the best advice and can often make a bad situation even worse." I have over and over, in my life tried to gain the support of my family and the truth is it always just makes the situation worse. I have just started avoiding any negative subject with mine. And I never ask for their advice. As much as it sucks, I found personally that the best way to deal with my family and my problems is to keep them seperate. I do whats best for me and mine and they can do whats best for them and theirs. Dont let them get you down. They just have old fashion, narrow minded beliefs.
 
Hehe, man haven't looked at this thread in awhile.

I've still been trying to get it through my family's thick skull about the ptsd. Not much luck so far.

My mother is completely out of the picture so no issues there.

My brother is moving home next week and has been asking questions. He didn't even know I had trauma. (he made himself a reality that doesn't exist for when we were kids.. he doesn't recall anything) He's been asking about my meds, what I have, why I have it. He actually seems to be more interested and more open to it than the rest of them. So I will see how it goes after they settle in here. I'm not holding my breath though.

As for my dad, I gave him the Understanding PTSD, guide for carers, to read today. He read the whole thing right in front of me. After reading it.. he told me that it's no different from normal stress. Just another excuse to not work. So I give up. Obviously, he doesn't want to understand, nor cares to. I will no longer be having any conversations with him on this. I'm tired of banging my head against a brick wall. It's his decision to ignore the facts, I will respect that.

I don't really feel hurt by it anymore, I feel resigned to it all. I guess I'm starting to accept that my family sucks the big one. Looking to them for support is a guarentee that I will not get it and will fall flat on my face. I knew this before, but didn't want to accept it. Now I have to.

So family support? Not here, nor will it ever happen.

The only support I will get is what I give myself, my two closest freinds and here. Considering, I think I'm better off with this support system, than my family's.

bec
 
Bec, I feel like I am writing to you a lot tonight. Hope you don't mind! All I can say is your father is wrong. What you've experienced is not normal stress. The story Jim and I read alone is more stress than most people experience in a lifetime. I'm glad you are resigned to your family's ignorance and are able to detach. It's unfortunate they are not trying, but your attitude really is the best to have. Less painful for you in the long term.
 
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