WillThereBeCake
Silver Member
I so relate to this. I even felt it again when I read that letter (no return address, I should have known better to even open it). What I did realize that no one will protect us from the crazies, we have to do it ourselves. The hardest part for me was getting past the mental need to convince people that they were in the wrong. I kept having these conversations in my mind where I went over all the insane things they'd done as if I was speaking to a police officer, or judge or whatever. I finally realized that I was just trying to convince myself. Hell, that was easy, I already knew they were wrong and a threat to me, and once I accepted that, then I found I could move forward and protect myself.
You might need "evidence" for a protection order, but no one, not even law enforcement, can question your rights of self-protection. You don't have to explain why you don't want someone at your house, you simply have to call the police and tell them that there is a trespasser that you want removed. It doesn't matter if it is a relative, a stranger or even Al Queda ;). Now, some cops think they have to sort things out. This is why I am actually glad that my mother pulled her stunt and I was able to brief the cops in a calm environment. I didn't go into everything, and they respected that. I simply told them that there was a long history there and that I had made the adult decision to completely severe ties and under no circumstances wanted anything to do with these people, period. I added, and had them document, that if there was an incident that I might become so flustered that I couldn't talk straight, but to please respect my legal wishes that those people were not invited, are not welcome, and needed to be removed immediately. I also added that I would be very happy to further elaborate and explain anything that the police needed to know, but would only be able to do so in the absence of those people. During his visit, I also insisted on showing, even though he did not request it, the title to my properties so that the cops could document that no one but my husband or myself has any legal claim to be here. My family has often asserted that they have claims to things they don't. Even though they don't even live in this state, they would be the type to say they were part owner of my land just to confuse or delay the police from removing them, forcibly if needed.
I guess if there is any possible silver lining to having dealt with so much crap from stalkers, is that I know all of their tricks and have designed both my life and my property layouts around that. However, those laws only work if you execute them. Involve the police, but know that they have seen so many different scenarios that we can't expect them to understand what is so clear to us.
Practice, or even write out a short statement that you can give to them, even if you're are completely out of it with fear/stress to help them to do their job. Perhaps, prepare a type written note card or short letter that says something like:
Dear Officer:
I welcome and appreciate your involvement in this situation. The background of which is highly emotional, and too drawn out for me to explain clearly and briefly. Please know that by handing you this prepared note that the people I have called you about have no legal claim to be here and that I wish for them to be removed immediately. Please do that, and I hope that I will then be able to calmly and clearly elaborate on any details you would like to clarify.
It is my clear and legal assertion that this person is trespassing and that I want them removed from my property immediately.
Thank you,
(signed by hand) ***Present with id when possible
Keep copies of this note on your fridge, in your purse, your desk office, anywhere that you might find these people harassing you and you fear you might break down. You don't have to explain to law enforcement that you suffer from PTSD. That is irrelevant to the wrong doing of the person who has committed the offense against you. Once you've calmed down, it is enough to say that you just get very emotional about the whole situation and appreciate their understanding and patience. I say this because I've found that PTSD labels pull up all different kinds of reactions for law enforcement. Their experiences with PTSD can range from mild encounters, to very dangerous situations, or even their own suffering. There is no need making yourself the target of doubt or confusion when the person who can to your home or work is clearly the one in the wrong. Help them help you by keeping it simple and just making them get rid of the trespasser.
The exception to this sharing would be if documenting your PTSD would help you obtain a protection order. Then, by all means take affidavits, etc. from Drs., therapists, etc.
I won't kid you and say this will be easy, but we really don't have a choice. They don't stop on their own. We have to stop them.
