Quite possibly.You missed my point entirely.
In *your* experience the medical field has some redemption despite the pain it caused you. In the poster’s experience every experience has been beyond horrible. You don’t understand their point of view, which is fine, but why tell them their experience and perspective is wrong and not only wrong, hurtful to the entire society? If you don’t like someone’s perspective you can ignore them.hate, violence, turmoil, and distrust in our country today! We'll go after police, teachers, doctors, postal workers
one huge lesson- Be A Bridge Builder
Are their other bad apples? Sure. But I came to discuss my bad Macintosh - not the entire religious community.
Not really the direction I meant to take this post—I have a whole other post addressing this (Do You View Your Abuser as Evil—I think you commented in it?). Im not thinking about the judgement of them but rather if you can or do occasionally have a positive thought about them (example might be “they worked really hard and believed in such-and-such passionately”. Such a thought could be about someone judged as good, bad, or neutral.)view my abusers neutrally. They aren't all good or all bad, they just exist
Yes, I think it’s helpful to talk about individuals too, as much as possible.my bad Macintosh - not the entire
this is generally not helpful language as it makes assumptions about your audience. Your individual needs are important. However I don’t think you can speak for others’ needs without ignoring their voices (unless they’re your dependents or part of your certain group with a specific mission statement.). But that is off-topic.We need
I get this . Interesting how you connect the two. I see it. And I see how it can lead to making excuses for them, which seems kind of aligned with the idea of positive thoughts toward them *at the wrong time in your recovery.*I don’t know if it’s a positive thought, but I understand why one of them did
This is an interesting perspective to me and resonates with me. No contact has helped me a lot with maintaining a stable mindset. And without connection anymore I no longer strive to understand him. Which has gently and slowly reduced the negative thoughts toward him. Actually, now that I’m thinking about it right now, I think I feel the opposite. The less connection/understanding I feel toward him the easier it is to entertain the possibility of a positive thought.Where there’s no understanding/connection for me there’s no positive
how do you get a more balanced opinion of the person (or group) who has caused your illness?
I have no idea why you'd think this is 'messaging'.I joined this site to get help with my healing. I WANT...no, I NEED...encouragement in the right direction. Encouraging each other that it is okay that tear about good, decent people in our society is not helping me. Yes, this is a place to discuss our trauma, our pain, and the specific people that hurt us. The pastor of my church hurt me - not everyone in the pastoral profession. Just that one man. Are their other bad apples? Sure. But I came to discuss my bad Macintosh - not the entire religious community. One bad pastor doesn't spoil the whole bunch. One bad doctor...or several...doesn't mean they are all out to get you. We need to change our messaging!
Yes. And when you read posts that trigger you - you have options. You canI joined this site to get help with my healing. I WANT...no, I NEED...encouragement in the right direction.
No one here is doing that.Encouraging each other that it is okay that tear about good, decent people in our society is not helping me.
I absolutely agree with you on this. It’s something I’ve got to work hard on because at the moment I’m at the point of excusing what he did to me. So yep, you’ve hit the nail on the head with that one. I’m still deferring to the ‘putting him first’, that for some inexplicable reason I do for him and him only.with the idea of positive thoughts toward them *at the wrong time in your recovery.*
Sending gentle and steady support as you work through this. You are definitely not alone on here with this. I know how hard it is too. I’m still working hard at disentangling from one of my abusers—I’ve come a long way but I still feel the urge sometimes to slip into old views about them (the lie that parts tell myself sometimes is that my life would be easier if I just went along with their desires or listened to their perspective—fortunately most of me feels nauseated that I would even say that.)First I have to *believe* it was wrong, not just be told it. A