Possible To Be In Denial About Ptsd?

[Fugo]

Do you find, in your experience as either a sufferer or supporter, that it's possible to be in denial about a PTSD diagnosis, whether that looks like minimizing its impact to fully denying it all together?

What advice do you have for someone who's loved one has received multiple diagnoses yet refuses to confront the reality of their situation?

 

[Utih]

Yes, it's possible to be in denial about having PTSD.

PTSD is a mental illness and as such there are some who will deny having it because they don't want to appear weak to others.

My advice for how to handle it varies.

How does the sufferer behave?

 

[Uzu]

I mean how does the sufferer behave toward others specifically.

 

[Banipo]

Very possible. For me, it was a rational explanation for what I was going through (and was terrified by what I was going through) and so I accepted it and ran headlong into dealing with it. Which is not to say that it wasn't hard -- it was very, very hard to accept. But nothing gets better until one accepts it. Being in that hazy, disorienting, awful place is way worse than being able to give it a name and work on dealing with it.

 

[Jirem]

Every other day. One day I'm ready to fight it, the next day "I'm fine"

 

[Oheme]

Accepting it can mean many things that may be difficult for many reasons. One of those is accepting that the trauma really happened and really caused harm. One of the symptoms of PTSD is avoidance of the trauma so acceptance can feel extremely threatening for some of us. Especially if its childhood or has been semi blocked out through various mechanisms. Some may struggle with feelings of shame that they are affected and feel they have failed. For many different reasons denial can be very strong and even after diagnoses. Its taken me around 4 years to spend most of my time in acceptance. After it was first suggested to me.

Accepting also means accepting one has to face the trauma and that can be just plain terrifying as a prospect.

Is the person diagnosed and have they been in any sort of treatment?

 

[Fugo]

Hi all,

Thank you very much for your insights. The person in question--my partner--is not in any form of treatment. I suggested some form of couples counseling to which they agreed, then changed their mind, agreed again, then not only changed their mind but also said they couldn't handle our relationship anymore and even suggested seeing other people--all within the span of a week! I'm devastated and a total loss.

 

[Lamace]

It has taken being told a total of three times by two different therapists (the last two by my current therapist) and it's all still relatively new for me in terms of a way of thinking or understanding myself. I feel much of what is described above--a lot of shame for being so impacted by my past experiences, like I'm a weak or selfish person, and I also feel a lot of remorse. The remorse I feel is what my previous conviction has kind of melted into....over the years now I can see how I got angry because I was getting triggered...but for so long I just felt tons of anger and conviction. Now I better understand myself as hurt and so I realize that my reactions have not always matched the stimulus....and I feel sad and sorry about that, esp for my partner who has stuck with me regardless and through all of it. I feel like I've been unfair to him many times and it makes me very sad (though also very grateful for his devotion). What remains though--and this is where I'm deep in these days and it's so hard--is then to deal with that wound. And that is so scary.

 

[Itif]

Yep.

What advice do you have for someone who's loved one has received multiple diagnoses yet refuses to confront the reality of their situation

No real idea what this ^^^ means. The reality in what sense? And in whose opinion?

 

[Fugo]

@Itif Reality: That they have PTSD according to multiple healthcare professionals.

 

[Huvone]

So they have had different forms of therapy before with multiple healthcare professionals and been evaluated and the diagnoses was PTSD but they are no longer in treatment and refuse to have any. Correct?

I don't think what you describe sounds unusual unfortunately. It may help to look at the supporters forum and posts.

Oheme

 

[Wajuc]

@Itif Reality: That they have PTSD according to multiple healthcare professionals.

Yes, but what does that mean? Why does it matter?

Really, I'm not trying to be dense, but there are about 1,000 different possibilities here.


1. Is he/she doing something you don't like, & think is attributable to PTSD, & will go away if they -using a very broad term here- seek treatment?
2. Is he/she doing something you're perfectly fine with, but that infuriates/ terrifies/ confuses them, that you think they will also be perfectly fine with if they seek treatment?
3. Is he/she trying to seek treatment, but keeps looking in the wrong place? AA or Bipolar disorder or church or friends <insert about a thousand more things>
4. Is he/she in treatment but not the kind of treatment you want?
5. Is he/she perfectly happy with something you find to be a major problem?
6. Is he/she having a major problem with something you are perfectly happy with?
7 - 1,000.

I know it probably seems perfectly clear in your head why being in denial is a problem & what facing reality means, as you're the one actually in that situation, and in your own head know the reality you want him to see. I'm on the other side of a screen though, and just from my own history of dating people with PTSD wouldn't be able to guess what the problem is, nor could I even begin to theorize what reality means to you. People's realities are almost unique to themselves. There are places where we intersect with others (who are usually friends, people we respect, etc.) but if you take a minute and consider the realities & life views of every freaking moron you've had to deal with in the past month alone? Their views on life and your own? Probably don't line up so well. Consider me one of those morons, & explain what the reality of having PTSD means to you, that he's either not seeing or disagreeing with.