Postcards From The 'in Vivo' Palooza

[BloomInWinter]

I'm in the phase of doing assignments from my CBT T. for 'in real life' exposure therapy.

He notices something I'm avoiding or have increased anxiety just *thinking* about, and we try to identify the thoughts going on during the anxiety burst. Then he assigns me counter-thoughts to think to myself whenever I notice it happening.

Then, to extinguish the response...I go out into the world and intentionally put myself in that anxiety-provoking situation over and over until the trigger no longer produces the response.

Sometimes it only takes 90 minutes. Sometimes days. Some, years later...still waiting.

If that doesn't sound like fun, I don't know WHAT does! :roflmao:

Feel free to share your fun tales of in vivo assignments.

 

[BloomInWinter]

Trigger: Sounds of tools being dropped on concrete in my workplace

Background Source: My dad told us kids the bomb casings in our basement were actual bombs and if we ever touched them it would blow up and kill us all. I was afraid of him finding our ball that had rolled in there so went to retrieve it rather than risk the punishment...but I tipped one over and I think I may have wet my pants when it hit the floor.

I had forgotten that until recently.

In my current workplace, I had a co-worker who believed I was moving things on her desk. (Cameras proved it was night shift workers.) Over many months, she kept threatening to have me shot by her friends. Construction was going on across the hall...and my anxiety got 'wired' to the fight or flight response whenever the construction noises were going on.

In vivo Assignment: Get permission from my employer to have access to the area, then while at my desk, try to work while a trusted person continues making that noise over and over again until my brain learned 'noise does not equal threat.'

How It Went: I got permission from my employer. I set up a time that it wouldn't bother others so it was in the late evening. My hubby and kids went with me.

I sat at my desk while they kept dropping hammers, pipes, chains, opening the metal doors and slamming them, and hubby kept using power tools.

The first hour and 15 minutes or so, I was sweating profusely. I couldn't keep my breathing rate down. My lips were dry. I was nauseated. I was dizzy. I wanted to verbally bark at my kids, who kept coming in to see me, adding to the chaos (which was good).

I did basic tasks and could not remember how to even navigate my computer.

I kept saying the countering thoughts and focusing on my breathing. "You're safe now. She's gone. This is just normal work noise. There's no danger. You're safe."

Result:

At about 90 minutes in...something that seemed magical happened. All of a sudden, the noise was just...background noise. I could concentrate. I was working with no problems. It was still going on, but my system didn't respond to it.

I'm so glad I did this. It made me a FIRM believer in exposure therapy for my healing. I'm ready to face it all, now.

I've done many since, and conquered some.

...and the rest of the time, my baseline anxiety is MUCH lower throughout the day.

WOW.

PARRRRRTTTTYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!

 

[kers]

I am SUPER IMPRESSED, Bloom. Way to push yourself! Just, WOW.

 

[intothelight]

Bloom,

Way to go!!!! So glad that you had the opportunity and the drive to confront the trigger and conquer it!

(((Hugs)))