Procrastination Is Debilitating Please Help

[jesse]

Hi everyone I am asking for coping strategies that any other procrastinators out there may have to help me get moving. I have to get some reports done for work and I am not lazy I just am procrastinating to the point where I feel debilitated. I have been trying for two weeks on one report and I just stare at the computer. I know it is a form of anxiety and I even took some ativan but it just made me more distracted. I can't focus for more than a few minutes at a time it really sucks. I have been a procrastinator off and on but it never got the best of me until now. I see my therapist tomorrow after about 2 months so have other issues to discuss too. Can anyone else relate?

 

[Abstract]

It is a truly terrible ongoing problem for me too. I eventually realised it was about strong fear. And not for perfectionstic reasons. I used to have those too but have overcome them. Now it is just irrational fear. The higher the pressure the higher the fear and more I freeze so a lot of the means of getting past it that one would think would help just make it worse.

I have done so much reading and experimenting with this. Its very annoying.

 

[cat]

Hi Jesse & Abstract

It's very annoying..in my head I will go through the steps of doing something but find it so hard to do them.

I have struggled with procrastination for quite a few years, you have the will to do things but..that fear just takes over. Mine is down to having the confidence in myself that I am doing or saying the right thing...really it's a fear of being judged by others if I make a mistake....ho hum... childhood trauma raises its head again!

My psychologist advised me make a plan the night before of things I need to do the next day. This has helped me a lot, there is something about ticking things off that have spurred me on to get things done. Its still not easy, I have to tackle the list as soon as I get up or I will find something to distract me.

 

[Abstract]

Hi Cat,

Glad that helped you and you found a way through! Lists. Of my goodness that is a story of it's own. Sometimes there are no ways I can do it without but lists and attempting to use then has backfired really badly in the past. I won't bore you with the details!

 

[EverOnly358]

I'm so sorry you're having a hard time! I've definitely gone through that, many times. I've had writer's block needing to get stuff done for work all the way to lying in bed and being so depressed that I had to talk myself into getting up to go to the bathroom for an hour, because that was just too hard and too overwhelming for me.

Here's some of the things that I do... make really detailed lists. Like

1. Sit on couch.
2. Open laptop.
3. Open document.
4. Read over what you have.
5. Type one paragraph.
6. Drink some water.

I know it sounds ridiculous, but there's something really good about checking off lists. But when you're having a lot of trouble, the things to do have to be so tiny that you can handle them. I also promise myself some reward... "Okay, get that one paragraph done and drink some water, and then you can take a break and watch 30 minutes of TV in bed."

The thing is, it takes some of the pressure off, and then sometimes it's easy enough to just continue, finish and then watch TV (or whatever). Sometimes just getting that paragraph done is a victory, and I watch TV like a zombie for 30 minutes, then I try again. And this is just an example... works for anything. It's not easy though. You have to fight and fight and fight and sometimes it doesn't work anyways. But give it a try.

I can certainly relate (I remember spending weeks working from home and just sitting on the couch starting at my laptop, for literally weeks, doing nothing, not because I was lazy, but because I was just blah-blank-unable to function-unable to think). I'm rooting for you! Good luck!

 

[therisa]

Sigh.

My procrastination has been so bad that my parents labeled me, the "Queen of Procrastinators", while growing up. I don't understand, how I manage to get through an university program, heavy on essays, but I did get my BA. I do know, my procrastination is hurting me, right now, in getting a new therapist to replace, my old one, who has since retired. Something, my nurse practitioner is constantly reminding me, I need to do.

 

[EverOnly358]

Abstract - I know what you mean! Lists can be so helpful, but then they can go on and on and get so overwhelming. I find I have to dump all of my to do lists from time to time and start completely over. Even if I write the same things down, that's okay. Because trying to finish every little thing, it just isn't ever going to happen (took me a LONG time to understand this!). It's hard, because lists CAN be really helpful, but then they can turn on you, too y'know? ;D (And I wouldn't be bored with details, if you want to share.)

 

[EverOnly358]

Therisa, I think everyone procrastinates about some things and not others. Maybe school was easier because it was something you really wanted or enjoyed. Finding a new therapist, though, it's so overwhelming.

It's hard to find a good one, someone's who's convenient and has openings and there's the insurance $$$ and scheduling and whether or not it's a good fit. If you get through all that, then it's just hard to go to therapy and it can bring up all sorts of bad feelings, and if you're like me, maybe you're thinking in the back of your mind... it's all too much, life is hard enough already!

So maybe just do one tiny step towards getting a new therapist? (Easier said then done, I know. Maybe I should take my own advice, LOL!)

Find a couple of phone numbers, maybe make one call? You could come back and tell us that you did it. (Which is oddly motivating, right?) Good luck, you can do it!

 

[therisa]

D, I have multiple learning disabilities, and some of them, are severe, which added several additional layers of frustration, to my ability to write and do any type of research. As for my search for a new counsellor/therapist, it complicated by my past experience of transphobia, by a psychiartist, who hurt me. Any person, who I do end up with, is covered by the provincial health insurance, here. Considering, I'm on a disability pension.

 

[EverOnly358]

Therisa, wow! With all that you still got your BA! Congrats! That's terrific! I'm sorry you struggle with multiple learning disabilities, but it's so cool you don't let that stop you. And I'm so sorry about that psychiatrist. That's awful. For a group of people who go to school and spend so much of their lives learning to help people... why it is that so many of them are such jerks?

 

[therisa]

Thank you, D, not something that I like to share with others, but it does interact with my ability to procrastinate.

Maybe, it's part of the "God" complex that many develop over the years, which they can do no wrong.

 

[WesternSky]

Jesse,

I can definitely relate to that feeling of staring at a task, unable to get anything done. For written work, I will break it down as much as possible. Like D123 said, sometimes just doing a paragraph at a time is helpful. For the really bad times, I've sat down with a favorite snack and/or a beverage and after every decent-sized sentence I write, I take a bite or a drink. If I'm feeling good, sometimes I'll go a bit longer.

If I've let things pile up for too long, I get overwhelmed by the amount of work that needs to be done. Lists aren't interactive enough for me sometimes so I turn it into a game. I love playing games where you complete tasks - filling up a little bar at the bottom of a screen makes me feel strangely accomplished. I will separate what I have to do into parts. If I had a big project, I'd divide it up into things like "Gather facts," "Write the opening," "Write Part A," etc., and draw a little bar next to them. I color in the bar as I work, and when I'm done, I'll often give myself a little reward, like a break or a fun activity. Seeing how much progress I've made often gives me the urge to do more so I don't get discouraged.