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Procrastination Is Debilitating Please Help

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Thank you, thank you, thank you everyone for your advice. It makes me feel better just hearing that other people go through the same problem. I talked to my therapist today and he said I am just worn out and really need time off. I have been dealing with my father being terminally ill and then a big blow up with my verbally/ emotionally abusive stepmother last week. Unfortunately she immediately involved my father which is her MO. So I truly am abandoned now because after 41 years I finally snapped and told her she was a compete and utter bitch. I am dragging this out sorry but I normally put the pro in procrastination anyway but I think he is right I am just spent. Plus this report is negative and this employee is not doing his job like I thought he was. I feel like I supervise 8 year olds sometimes. Thank you everybody I will definitely try lists and rewards.
 
I can so relate, I am the queen of procrastinators. My husband died four months ago of insidious diseases and I was his caregiver. There is so much to be done to put everything in my name. It is frustrating, and annoying and I have the bad habit of assuming each task will be easy. It is not. Everything is a hassle.

I am so sorry about your dad and your stepmother. I know how hard caregiving is. I am still burnt out and exhausted from the caregiving. I hired someone to come to my house once a week to clean it. I could not clean my house before when I was caregiving and it depressed me greatly. It is wonderful to have someone do it for me.

As for the many forms I have had to fill out, I always ask some representative to walk through them with me. I still have to go to the bank to get my husbands name off the account and I have been putting that off for four months. I do not know why. I feel like I am erasing him from my life. But it has to be done.

I think you may be burnt out and exhausted and need some rest. I hope you can get it. I sure understand the problem.

Today a friend took me out to go shopping for clothes. I do not even know how to shop and she does. I found some wonderful clothes. Can you get someone to help you with things? I sure hope so. It has made a huge difference for me. Big hugs.
 
Thank you so much Gizmo. I am so sorry about your husband that is horrible. I wish you strength and perseverance with some peace thrown in too.

My father, well all family actually lives on the east coast of the U.S. and I am in the west. I was there 4 x last year and went back suddenly for a scare in early July. The good thing is it was a good visit with nice memories and I knew in the back of my mind it was highly likely to be the last time I would see him. He and my Stepmom have told me I have permanently burned our bridges and they actually do mean it when they say things like that. I do not feel guilt and other than exhausted have lucid moments of relief from the peace it brings to know I may never really have to ever speak to my stepmom again. It is very liberating as she has been pathologically jealous since I was four. She has been nasty to me especially in past two years all the time. I snapped and really wonder how I managed not to all this time. I do feel sad that my Dad instantly sided with her and attacked me verbally but that is my family's dysfunctional meanness. I am trying hard to fight the bitterness though.

My boyfriend is my main support and he has suffered major trauma in his life so can relate and is just pretty wonderful. I have two close friends from back east that I can talk too as well. I have a good therapist finally. My Mom is always happy to bash stepmom but that is not healthy but feels good sometimes. I know that is mean it wore off on me some and I am working on it.
 
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