Samantha_38
Confident
Anyone ever have fear of causing arousal in your T while talking through very specific details of sexual trauma?
I have had same T for 3 years. It has taken that long to get to the point where I can talk much at all. This is our 2nd (kind of 3rd) trauma event that we are working through using Prolonged Exposure (PE). The very first event we jumped into one that was too intense for me at the time and I couldn't get through it.
In general I've been becoming desensitized slowly and its working. I have this fear of causing a sexual arousal in my T while talking through my trauma though. It does not help that this specific event is a sexual incident that happened with a previous mental health provider. I also don't think it helps that we are currently only doing therapy over the phone, so I can't see him or what he may be doing. This was a fear even before phone therapy though to some extent.
I have now, after covering it up for weeks, finally told him that fear. He wasn't negative at all. Not even really surprised I don't think. He also didn't have good answers and admitted he was trying to be very careful with what he said. He reiterared his morals and ethics. He also said there's a part to therapy where I don't know what he is thinking and he doesn't know what I am thinking. That part would make it difficult to list this fear on our trauma worksheet because one of the questions after the exposure is "did this fear happen?" I am supposed to answer and I can't answer for him. And I think, he probably can't ethically tell me.
I was hoping for some sort of firm "no" or "this doesn't happen to me when I hear about trauma" from him, and maybe an explanation as to why or how he controls that. I didn't get that. It half has me worried that it does cause that bio response in him to listen to these trauma details. And while I have gained a lot of trust in him and really do feel he wouldn't act on them, I still don't like to think that I'm 'doing' that to him. He tells me not to protect him.
Any advice? Is this a common thing?
I have had same T for 3 years. It has taken that long to get to the point where I can talk much at all. This is our 2nd (kind of 3rd) trauma event that we are working through using Prolonged Exposure (PE). The very first event we jumped into one that was too intense for me at the time and I couldn't get through it.
In general I've been becoming desensitized slowly and its working. I have this fear of causing a sexual arousal in my T while talking through my trauma though. It does not help that this specific event is a sexual incident that happened with a previous mental health provider. I also don't think it helps that we are currently only doing therapy over the phone, so I can't see him or what he may be doing. This was a fear even before phone therapy though to some extent.
I have now, after covering it up for weeks, finally told him that fear. He wasn't negative at all. Not even really surprised I don't think. He also didn't have good answers and admitted he was trying to be very careful with what he said. He reiterared his morals and ethics. He also said there's a part to therapy where I don't know what he is thinking and he doesn't know what I am thinking. That part would make it difficult to list this fear on our trauma worksheet because one of the questions after the exposure is "did this fear happen?" I am supposed to answer and I can't answer for him. And I think, he probably can't ethically tell me.
I was hoping for some sort of firm "no" or "this doesn't happen to me when I hear about trauma" from him, and maybe an explanation as to why or how he controls that. I didn't get that. It half has me worried that it does cause that bio response in him to listen to these trauma details. And while I have gained a lot of trust in him and really do feel he wouldn't act on them, I still don't like to think that I'm 'doing' that to him. He tells me not to protect him.
Any advice? Is this a common thing?