Freedomfighter
Diamond Member
Such a betrayal is very often found in families. Fear of being found out as an enabler means that many family members do not speak out and therefore enable the abuser to do more damage.
My father was like that. Your screen name little flower reminds me of my mom. My dad cut her off from her own life when she was very young. Went on to possess her mentally and physically, treated her not much better than a personal slave.
My mother obliged, she knew no different. My mom was never allowed to flower, to live her own life. There are many families with stories like that, and it is understandable when things happen and people do not speak up because they fear repercussions.
However when such abuse is noticed and willingly lied about and willingly people enable abusers then it is different. Then it all changes, such are the people that I despise the most. The ones who know very well what the abuser did and actually helped that abuser get away with murder, the people who will methodically attempt to blame the poor victims, often children themselves. So big is my disgust with someone that does that I would love to be involved in getting their behinds in front of court to tell the truth.
But such is a road of hardship, because often enough one finds out that not just one person can be identified as an enabler, but rather large groups and then the efforts of a victim to prove the truth is arduous and thankless, often only igniting severe pain that has already been experienced by the abuse.
What I mean to say is this: once I had learned the truth about what went on in my family I mulled over it long enough to understand what happened. Now that I know what happened I have to force myself to not hunt after abuser after abuser, because that would steal away my own life.
And something never to forget: an abuser thrives on that, loves every attention he gets from the victim, is often in his sick mind misinterpreted as interest, is always then interpreted by outsiders as inappropriate actions from the victim and enables co abusers to further abuse the victim, until he or she will have to separate from that criminal case anyways: simply to just save their own lives by walking away.
Concentrate on yourself, gain understanding of what happened, only concentrate on your feelings and only on your way of healing. If you begin to concentrate on what others could and should have done then you are opening the door to so much pain that your head will spin.
