Psychopath? don’t know what to think! input needed

[Sideways]

This person clearly has some issues going on, and it sounds like weed is potentially becoming a real problem for her. It can be hard to walk away from people who we previously had a friendship with. Our concern for their welfare doesn’t just stop because we’ve decided we need to walk away from the person. Watching someone destroy their own life because of an addiction issue? Can be devastatingly hard.

But, at this point, there really isn’t anything you can do about it. If you know someone is breaking the law, you can call the police. Beyond that? The heartbreaking thing is there is really nothing else you can do. That’s hard, but that’s how it is. You aren’t the first person to have to experience that type of anguish, and you won’t be the last.

Her situation? Is incredibly sad. But what are you going to do now that’s healthy for you, and your life? Having decided to remove this person from your life (sounds like a smart decision), is it serving you and your health to be pulling apart her life and her issues? Because it’s not helping her, and from the outside, it looks like it’s really not helping you either.

If this is really causing you a lot of distress? Do something about the issue. Volunteer at a homeless shelter, or support an addiction charity, or... that’s probably the most helpful thing you can do at this point.

 

[Deleted member 37868]

This person clearly has some issues going on, and it sounds like weed is potentially becoming a real p...

Yes, agreed it’s probably not helping me, I’m good at the tangible decisions, like blocking her, on everything, I can stick to that. I’m not sure how to emotionally disengage. It’s ridiculous how much other ppl affect me, I mean on the inside. Outwardly I’m a strong person, I’m not easily manipulated or controlled anymore, I can say no etc. It’s the feeling, like a rock sitting on my chest. That’s why I posted on here. I really didn’t have a single intention other than letting it out. It’s so f*cked up. I left class early after she text bombarded me the last time, I just darted out. I just had a panic attack and skipped a different class today. I hate myself right now, this situation triggered a lot of bad memories for me, I’m having heart palpitations Rn, and also telling myself how weak I am for feeling this way. I’m going to study like crazy tonight usually works. Idk it sounds like you have been hurt like this as well? Have you found something that helps? In the moment I mean. This is a fresh wound. I have volunteered at shelters, hehe that’s how I got my very fat cat

 

[Deleted member 37868]

You're reading waaaaay more into that than you should.

No I’m not, you were very clear with what you said

 

[mumstheword]

Is she glib? Is she shallow? Parasitic? Does she lie? Psychopaths live to lie. It's a thing termed by expects called "dupers delight", because they feel no empathy they must fool others and mimic "normality" or empathy in order to fit in. They will often play people against each other. It does sound like, from what you've described, that she fits the "Hare list" which is a list of traits someone must fulfil in order to be deemed a psychopath or a sociopath. She doesn't sound guilefull enough, another one of the traits.
Some psychopaths will boast about what they have done, for affect but yes, dishonesty is a very key trait.
Her lack of empathy leads you to wonder, I can see why you ask. She's seriously disturbed and maybe narcissistic, but she might just be "f*ckin' with ya" or some kind of sadist? Do the other people who've been affected need support? What did she do to them? I mean it's probably wise to back right out of there but if she is a real danger, well, I'd want to assess all the facts and not only be prepared but be able to support any new victims and help them make sense of it for their protection but that's just me. Others would just keep their heads down and keep right out of it. A true psychopath is going to do what they can get away with and they will ruin lives. They will lie, manipulate and scheme to prey on people. People won't know what's hit them. They rarely do blatant illegal things that they will be caught and charged for. No they are much whilier than that. They will destroy sanity, parasite off others, they will fake empathy but something will be off.

I think you are right though, if she was a real one she wouldn't show all her cards. She wouldn't tell you she wanted to start a cult or cut out her boyfriends heart. She's most likely a culturally disturbed, maybe autistic person? With very clunky social skills and narcissistic and sadistic ideation. But of course disregard everything I say, because I can't possibly assess something I am neither qualified for nor do I have enough information to go on. I'm just saying this for fun basically. I'm a bit obsessed about learning what I can about psychopaths, have my own experience and have a pretty decent library on the subject, all of which I've read.

 

[Sideways]

Idk it sounds like you have been hurt like this as well? Have you found something that helps?

Yeah, but I think a lot of people have. There’s so many different personalities coexisting on this planet that, if you get out there into life? You come across them. And it painful, and it can drag out some of the negative core beliefs we’re trying to recover from. Add ptsd into the mix? And toxic relationships of any kind can become really damaging.

For me? Self-care is important in the moment. Doing things that are going to make me feel good about myself, or at least lean towards encouraging my own, positive concept of myself.

Getting back out there and engaging with some of our positive relationships? Is super important. When someone has come along and done a lot of personal damage, it’s important to re-engage with those people in my life that make me feel good about myself, and remind me why I bother with other people at all. Because they are important, you know? This person has done some damage, but there are other people in your life that do the opposite - people who build you up, make you happy, make you feel valued and safe. That’s where I direct my energy, because the more I direct energy to past, toxic relationships? The more I’m just going to do damge to myself. Which I can’t afford.

 

[mumstheword]

By Autistic I mean Aspergers, on the spectrum of autism or ASD, which is Autism Spectrum disorder, which sounds likely to me, from what you've described

 

[EveHarrington]

Does “why” even matter?

I’d argue not.

 

[Deleted member 37868]

Is she glib? Is she shallow? Parasitic? Does she lie? Psychopaths live to lie. It's a thing termed...

Damn your last description! Yes, she has a smile on her face when she hurts people. One of her friends dumped her because he said she’s very dishonest. Her last boyfriend dumped her because she he said she was an emotionless void, but she told me that! I’m extremely good at getting ppl to tell me their deepest secrets, my driving instructor told me he was molested by a priest after 5 lessons, he was a nice guy btw not a creep. Anyways she psychologically tortured my friend by taking all her classes after practically driving her to suicide. She would send her thousands of texts, it’s hard to explain she plays mind games, to the point where u don’t know where is up and what is down. She would instigate fights during class, and sit beside her. She ended up skipping all her classes and getting really bad marks. It’s subtle, but yes sadistic! That’s what my mom and sis said, and I told them barely anything. She seems like a really confident cool girl when u meet her. She told me she feels no guilt or shame ever. Someone scoffed at me for calling myself an empath but I am, these ppl use me as a mirror, but I’m strong now, and once I catch on they’re out of my life.

 

[Gs172003]

If she's driving dangerously and you know it call the police. At the very least that has to be addressed. That woman is going to kill somebody.

 

[Deleted member 37868]

Does “why” even matter?

I’d argue not.

Ha ha, btw I’m open to disagreements, I’m a philosophy major. I actually am getting so much out of this, I just wanna say thank you for all the responses. It is good to question how I think about this. As long as we all accept that we are allowed to have different views. I almost feel sane again, I think an outsider view has brought me out of my head. But it’s really hard !

 

[Deleted member 37868]

If she's driving dangerously and you know it call the police. At the very least that has to be addressed...

I know, it was a horrible experience, I think I’m gonna give an anonymous tip. I’m worried what will happen if she finds out it was me or suspects it, it’s the right thing to do though, idk what ppl think driving stoned.

 

[mumstheword]

Damn your last description! Yes, she has a smile on her face when she hurts people. One of her frie...

With what you've described I'd advice you to read up on the subject.
There's; the sociopath next door (off hand don't have the authors name but it's a woman)
And a new Australian one which is excellent called; Taming toxic people; the science of identifying & dealing with psychopaths at work & at home by David Gillespie
What is really key is the lack of empathy and drive for power over others. The being superficially charming is a common tell too.
Wishing you well with recovering and exercising healthy boundaries. These types of people can be extremely hard to pin down and get protection from authorities because of their brilliant lying and charm abilities. They lie in a way that normally empathetic people just can't.
Very, very dangerous and destructive, caution must be taken. Get armed with more knowledge and good people around you, which is what you are already doing, I can tell you are a very smart, awesome and resourceful woman. Good luck!