Ptsd And Religion

[Angus McGee]

One thing I will say to those who are struggling with their faith because of PTSD, or any other reason.

Just because you have lost faith in God, it doesn't mean He has lost faith in you. He still loves you more than silly words on a message board could ever say. He knows every hair on your head, he knew every day of your life. He knows the pain, He sees the tears, and He still has a plan for you and your life.

Yes, many of you have suffered horrible, inexplainable pain that has left tremendous scars whether physical, emotional, mental, etc.

Jesus himself said in Matthew 11:28-30

28Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
29Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
30For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

I am not a sufferer, and I have no idea the pain many of you have suffered to get you to the point you find yourselves. What I can tell you is that God knows. He loves you. He wants to heal you. All He asks is for you to just give Him a chance.

Will it happen immediately? Maybe. I don't know.

What I do know is that we are to Trust in the Lord, and lean not on our own understanding. In all our ways, we are to acknowledge Him, and He will direct our paths.

I don't know why God allows pain and suffering in the world. Asking why is a great question. Yes, it's true that if everything was always lollipops and sunshine, we would not know what true joy is like.

There is a modern-day version of the bible called the Message. The below passage is what it says at the beginning of the book of James.

4Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.

5-8If you don't know what you're doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help. You'll get his help, and won't be condescended to when you ask for it. Ask boldly, believingly, without a second thought. People who "worry their prayers" are like wind-whipped waves. Don't think you're going to get anything from the Master that way, adrift at sea, keeping all your options open.

9-11When down-and-outers get a break, cheer! And when the arrogant rich are brought down to size, cheer! Prosperity is as short-lived as a wildflower, so don't ever count on it. You know that as soon as the sun rises, pouring down its scorching heat, the flower withers. Its petals wilt and, before you know it, that beautiful face is a barren stem. Well, that's a picture of the "prosperous life." At the very moment everyone is looking on in admiration, it fades away to nothing.

12Anyone who meets a testing challenge head-on and manages to stick it out is mighty fortunate. For such persons loyally in love with God, the reward is life and more life.

The decision to trust in God, and not to trust in Him is ultimately yours. He will never force Himself on you. He is patiently waiting for you to ask Him for help. Whether he waits for a few hours, or a few decades. The choice is up to you.

...more later.

:)

 

[Spero3]

My comments below may offend some. I am going to answer this from an atheist's faith, or point of view, because it may give you some insight.

It may be that given so many religions teach that god answers their prayers, and has a hand in people's lives, your wife is wondering what the hell she did to deserve what happened to her. I am always amazed at how someone who has survived an accident can say they were saved by god, What about the people that didn't survive? Did they somehow deserve to die? Did I deserve to be raised by a mentally ill, abusive mother? No. It just happened. Sometimes great things happen to shitty people, and sometimes bad things happen to wonderful people. You wife may have lost faith because of your church's teachings. People are responsible for their own behaviors. They choose to be good or bad (or they have a mental illness that molds their behavior). Sometimes the bad people hurt the good. And, sometimes bad stuff happens to good people while good things happen to bad people.

It may be that you wife has experienced some not-so-nice stuff if she has reached out for support in the church. I know a woman whose son committed suicide about 10 years ago. The family was very christian. The mother turned to her faith and church for comfort and was promptly told by her "friends" in church that her son was in hell, because he had committed suicide. In short, she no longer attends church.

My advice is to let your wife find her way. She may come back to her faith, and she may not. But, that's up to her...not anyone else. She needs to find her own way to heal. Support her in her journey by giving her space, not bible verses.

Spero

 

[Angus McGee]

Thanks for your input, Spero3. I'm not offended in the least.

 

[Abrasky]

Is it possible your wife's isolation part of her PTSD is effecting her desire to connect with people in general rather than a specific avoiding church thing.

I was church going before my trauma, although not regularly. I have had a bit of a phobia for 10 years of sincere love, because that is what my mum tried to pass her trauma on me off as. So I didn't go to church at all for 9 years because I felt like I was angry with god for my trauma and now I've healed that part of me that is afraid of sincere love, I have been going back to church, although not regularly again. I've been going back every 2 weeks. I hope that helps.

Anyway I think faith is a personal thing between you and god. I think it should never be emotionally blackmailed into or that sought of ruins the whole sincere love message of it. That's why I can't stand Jehovah's witnesses. God will know she is healing. Maybe he sent her on this quest with the PTSD. So I think although there isn't a phrase in the bible about PTSD, not all people god has a relationship with are churchgoing despite the message. That's not from the bible, but it's a personal view from a christian.

 

[Angus McGee]

Is it possible your wife's isolation part of her PTSD is effecting her desire to connect with people in general rather than a specific avoiding church thing.

Yes, most definitely. She has suffered from PTSD for 30+ years, and only recently has it come out of it's dormancy & manifested itself to the point we find ourselves today. She is very mistrusting of the people in church. Collectively. That doesn't come (necessarilly) from the PTSD, either dormant or in the forefront, but from being stabbed in the back by people claiming to be Godly.

Anyway I think faith is a personal thing between you and god.

She feels the very same way. She even keeps her prayer life to herself. In the 21+ years I've known her, I think I've heard her pray once.

 

[Tinyflame]

Just because you have lost faith in God, it doesn't mean He has lost faith in you. He still loves you more than silly words on a message board could ever say. He knows every hair on your head, he knew every day of your life. He knows the pain, He sees the tears, and He still has a plan for you and your life.

I am not a sufferer, and I have no idea the pain many of you have suffered to get you to the point you find yourselves. What I can tell you is that God knows. He loves you. He wants to heal you. All He asks is for you to just give Him a chance.
12Anyone who meets a testing challenge head-on and manages to stick it out is mighty fortunate. For such persons loyally in love with God, the reward is life and more life.

Dear Angus, that is so sweet (and of you to say it). :inlove:
I sure hope so.

 

[Tinyflame]

Church gave me a safe place when things were bad, a way to communicate with God in His own house, a place of peace and acceptance where I could be with Him as I suffered. I know now that unless I turn my back on Him that I will never be alone again.

..returned dignity that was gone for many years.

If there were no religion I would still believe in and love God, but I am so grateful that there is, because it gave me a home when I had none.

I had the same experience once: not because of the ptsd (specifically, although it likely complicated it), running away from abuse and trying to find a moment's peace and safety and reduce my anxiety.
I actually remember thinking, "I wonder if I could hide under the stairwell", at times. :rolleyes: Sometimes I would fall asleep out of sheer relief.

I think one of the nicest things is that it can feel like "home", to me.

 

[Tinyflame]

although there isn't a phrase in the bible about PTSD

Just for fun:

I've heard historians etc say it was hypothesized that 'David' in the Bible had ptsd. Who knows, but I get a kick out of it because I don't know the Bible much at all but I always liked 'him' and his Feast Day = my birthday= your 'patron saint'.

(And apparently 'he was a man after God's own heart", -so if that's true I figure God saw that in him despite the ptsd :))

 

[Crl1983]

I do believe there is a God and I believe there is an afterlife, because of many spiritual experiences I have had throughout my life. I don't like church anymore, though. I agree with a lot of what Spero said.

 

[Angus McGee]

I'm not in any position to comment much tonight. My wife moved out tonight. I helped her get her stuff into her new place. We talked for a while, I went back out to my truck and sobbed bitterly. I got home, and felt like I'd been to a funeral. I'm hurting. Badly.

 

[Tinyflame]

(((((Hugs))))))
:(

 

[Crl1983]

I'm sorry :(. I hope things get better.