General Ptsd Can Get Better

[ISupportHer]

I agree that things can get better. Unfortunately, there is no template and, in my admittedly limited experience, it has been entirely unpredictable.

I think the "better" can be 2-fold. Certainly, my wife has been doing better. But so have I. Not that I claim any responsibility for her getting better, just that I think I finally was able to roll with the punches better. Not to struggle in the quick sand.

It's not easy. Not at all. And the support, information, friendships here, CAN be a world of difference.

PTSD is forever. In some aspects. Not curable, like mentioned above. Things can always get worse. It WILL ebb and flow. We, as supporters, have to find our own way of coping too.

Thanks for checking back in Lady Rig!

 

[Tinyflame]

I started to think the 'better' was that symmptoms would occur but could be ignored, no meaning put on them or cognitive distress, you might call it.

Am not sure now. :( However as above, I guess one has to try to continue to persevere or have hope.

 

[Lady Rig]

I liken PTSD to Diabetes. It never goes away, but with care it can be managed. The triggers will always be there for the Sufferer, there's no getting away from that. What gets better is how they're dealt with. Like with my husband, if we were arguing and I slammed a door it was game on for his anger response. Now, if I slam a door he doesn't react the same way. Kinda like not sweating the small stuff. It takes work and practice, and even then, there are occasional flare ups, which you just have to manage with the tools your T gives you.

It did take a lot of counseling sessions to get where we are today. There's a lot of initial negativity and frustrations, and a lot of just wanting to give up. Giving up is easy, but I can tell you it's worth the time, effort, and WORK that goes into making yourself a better person. I look at my husband differently now, because he basically had to do a tear down and rebuild of himself.

Having a support system helps also, I think. I was really the only support he had, and this Forum was the only support I had, and it really made all the difference. Don't be afraid to ask for help or a shoulder to cry on, or even for someone to listen to you when it gets rough, cause it does. I did my share of venting, and the support I got really helped put things in perspective. I hope this helps Darrell P.!

 

[Eleanor]

This is sounding like us at the moment. Thank you for the hope....

 

[discarded]

It is great to hear stories of success and hope, especially when you feel there is none. You are so wonderful for standing by him and supporting him through it all.

 

[Ptsd Wife]

I am happy that I found this forum today!

Lady Rig you have pulled me out of my devastated and depressed mood that I've been in for about 2 years, really bad this last week though. I have a similar situation. My husband has recently told me (this last week) that he loves me but is not in love with me anymore. He also has told me he can't stand to be around me either, cause everything I do ups his already high level of anxiety, even if I'm talking to him the way he wants me to, etc.

He came home from a deployment in July of 2010. He, not to far off from that point, had a severe panic attack and was diagnosed with PTSD, which is combat related. He then started to go to therapy while still in the Air Force. I do think that it was helping him, but at that point he put up this wall and won't let me around it or through it.

We have moved from Colorado (which is where he was stationed) to North Carolina (where he is from) since then. He has registered at the VA Center here, but has not been getting the 2 to 3 times a week therapy that he was getting in Colorado. We are now going to start therapy for us next week. I hope that I can convince him that he and we need it, for this is the last step he feels for us to not end our marriage after 6.5 years.

I hope that he doesn't feel that I'm judging him, because I'm not at all. I just want to help Him. This whole time I have been supportive of any and everything he does. I have also been walking on egg shells around him, as to not upset him any worse. I don't think that was the best idea that I've had, but I did what I could in the moment.

I haven't wanted to push him for help, but at this point, I don't see it making us worse than it already is. He doesn't want to be married anymore, so as long as we are headed that way, I might as well push a little more. I do feel that he just wants to get rid of me, so that he doesn't have to worry about or take responsibility for me. I also feel bad because he said he is lonely and hopeless, I firmly believe that these feeling will only get worse if we do end us. I know he still loves me and I feel that he is not being true to himself when he said that he wanted to be alone and not married.

I have been trying to tell him that his PTSD is out of control, because I know him and this is not him. He just is running away from this disorder instead of standing up to it and fighting back. You have given me hope that I will not lose the best and most important thing in my life.

Thank you for your encouraging words.

 

[Lady Rig]

I don't check in very often any more, but when I do, and I read people's stories it brings tears to my eyes. PTSD is hard, and all of you are wonderful for trying to help someone and for getting help. Keep it up! My husband has been out of treatment for a year and things are still going really well. He still has his occasional flare-ups but we both know how to deal with them so life is much easier. Take heart! People can change, but only when they want to. My thoughts and prayers go out to all of you!

 

[Sailorgal]

I just saw this thread. It's a great encouragement as a sufferer to see understnding and amends can be made. Also, how both sides need to cooperate.

Hope one day I will meet someone as understanding.

Ladyrig, that's soo wonderful for the both of you! It says a lot about your relationship.

 

[discarded]

It is great that there is hope if you want to put in the effort. I pray for a miracle everyday, the miracle that my sufferer will finally seek help and find that there is some hope to living a happier life, whether that be with me or not.

 

[Eleanor]

A sort of relapse at my house this AM. Needed to see this thread again this afternoon. Blessings to you and yours Lady Rig.

 

[Yael]

My husband was a 'Nam Vet - he did two tours from '68-72 - he was my best friend and we loved each other - he died in '08 and thanks to my ptsd his ptsd and tbi's we were a pair of looney's who laughed and did the best we could without anyone's help.

I utilized my penchant for management and he was the 'doer' of all things my ADHD has no patience for...we were such a good pair. Our son and I - however- discovered that when hubby died he hadn't been taken care of by the VA - no life insurance - family blamed me and my son and I were left for dead. My life imploded as I was already disabled but still working. I don't know where I'm going with this...my hubby would have been 65 on Thurs. - older than I but only in age - I miss him. My son needed a dad so bad when he died - my bro had died from als before that.

All I can say is I'm doing the best I can and it doesn't seem to be good enough for most people. I don't care any more. My son's ADHD, PTSD and overall anxiety and lack of motivation to do anything but suck me dry financially ( and it's not his fault -everything is expensive - but now my savings is gone - and I have to sell stuff off - so life has taken a turn with us and i'm left holding the empty bag. My son is only now getting diagnosed for stuff he's had all his life that his Dr's in another state refused to see, and having a TBI and PTSD is almost like having a zen mind - no mind - because we don't 'think' all the time....and we miss important opportunities and I did that and hurt my son and it's all hurtful.

I'm left feeling useless though i 'know' I'm not...I am a devoted Mom and a good friend to people but find it's very one sided. I give way more than I 'get' and it's been that way all my life that's why I didn't want many friends. I don't need more vampires in my life.

So, now I'm living in a nice apt - finding out if the home I walked away from in an ADHD TBI PTSD'd agitated state from losing my small colon to a primary physician and the other Dr who monthly monitored my pain ( wasn't taking the pain meds though - weaned off them to assess pain levels for surgery to stenosis - but no Dr cared!! ) so they blew me off when I presented with lymph nodes swollen - profuse sweating and body temp going hot then cold - no one cared - 4 months later my kid almost loses the only person left in his life. I lived ...but now have a medical malpractice suit I am praying a big firm takes and a son who is suicidal, hardly functions and I'm stuck dragging him around to Dr's - he has no desire to do anything as our life has been one big trauma mostly with death the result. Not a great start for a kid. I'll keep thinking good thoughts and faking my positive attitude for him....it's the best i got today.