Relationship Ptsd Episode Or Some Other Terminology?

[lostforgottensoul]

If I observed this behavior in someone my first thought would be bipolar. Maybe schizophrenia? Everyone is different as has been pointed out already, but I wouldn't think PTSD.

BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder); something I have and more well known for emontional "explosions" and very commonly dignosed with PTSD. Comorbility, common, is another reason this isnt so "cookie cutter". I know, until told, i didnt know what i had or what caused what. I just had a mass of symptoms and nothing to go off of. And still today they overlap so much at times that i have no way to tell if its more the PTSD or BPD and where i should ask for support so i go off of which one feels more right.

My blind rage explosions arent even "cookie cutter" as i have no idea (other than anxiety that i held in) what caused it. I would explode over talking about the damn weather. Until taught, I didnt know what from what and now, 7 yrs into therapy, I still cant tell you, at times, exactly what lead up to it. I can feel it coming on so i can remove myself maybe a minute before it happens but its such a mass ball tangled web of emotions and cant make heads or tails with most of it.

I can tell you that if im in one or approching one and you say the word "episode" in any way, shape, or form, it will make it a million times worse. There are many many other ways to describe something, especially to the sufferer, other than an "episode". Just typing it makes me want to throw my phone and makes me want to jump.

You can say the same thing to me two very different ways and one makes my blind rage way worse and the other can completely disfuse it. Neither i have control over yet.

 

[joeylittle]

Everyone has a core personality that is displayed for most of their life but then there are periods of time that have a bit of a filter.

This is interesting - I'm curious where you got this premise from? Not saying its wrong, just saying it is a foundational belief within your examination of PTSD, and as such, is worth factoring in.

From my CBT days, I recall that we'd describe that idea - core personality - as 'sense of self', and that sense of self was comprised of a combination of core values and core beliefs. You might value individuality, for example (and by value, we mean you aspire to it as well as admire it in others) - but if you also hold a core belief that 'I am different, and different is bad' - then, your values are not in line with your beliefs, and you can begin to work on bringing them more into alignment.

Going by your description of core personality, I would fundamentally be depressed and full of self-loathing. Now, I have depression, and have had it the majority of my life, best I can reckon. But the last time I can recall being in touch with any sort of core believe/value system that wasn't hugely negative and self-destructive was right before I started first grade.

Are you looking to establish a baseline? I'm going to guess, 'yes' - but you need to examine how the premise 'everyone has a core personality' is reflected in mental health literature. Maybe someone else can help me out on who did research under that belief - I'm sure someone must have.

the scenario of PTSD sufferers being super in love and in long term relationships and then suddenly and without almost any warning pulling the disappearing act.

Can you define 'super in love' and 'long term'? Most of what I read in this forums is people who are at the 6 month mark. That's a classic time for all relationships to either switch into 'gonna keep trying this with more commitment' vs 'yeah, not gonna work'.

 

[Deleted member 17302]

This question is so broad and unspecific I have absolutely no way of answering.

I would have to know...

The response I expected as a response but thought I'd give you a chance to be reasonable.

Sidenote... Dictionary.com defines research as: "diligent and systematic inquiry or investigation into a subject in order to discover or revise facts, theories, applications," whereas "There is a reason why most research studies are usually peer reviewed prior to publication." is a specific context and not the common definition. It's quite annoying when people pull that card you have with that word. When someone uses a word and then someone decides to rope it into a specific context instead of the dictionary definition of the word, that is twisting things to fit your intentions vs the common usage of the word which it was intended to be used as.

 

[joeylittle]

Now, I have depression, and have had it the majority of my life, best I can reckon. But the last time I can recall being in touch with any sort of core believe/value system that wasn't hugely negative and self-destructive was right before I started first grade.

Just wanted to add: the point I was going for is that I have a separate issue (depression) that affects my experience of myself. Other sufferers might have quite well-balanced and bright lives before their traumatic incident and subsequent PTSD - but I think that's a big assumption to make - that's all.

 

[Deleted member 17302]

This is interesting - I'm curious where you got this premise from? Not saying its wrong, just saying it is a foundational belief within your examination of PTSD, and as such, is worth factoring in.

When a person is in a neutral emotional state, their perception of reality and their personality is unfiltered by emotion.

When someone is depressed their perception of reality is given a more negative value and their personality will also have a more negative value given to it. When fairly drunk you will get this depressed value and why it is called a depressant.

When a person is given a drug that induces a happy up feeling, even bad things can be perceived as a neutral value or positive value and their personality will also have a more positive value added to it. For instance zoloft and other drugs within that family will do that.

You can think of pretty much all of emotions with a value given to them. People also generally are said to be either a glass half full or glass half empty. That is a reality perception value filter. You either add value to what is perceived or subtract value to what is perceived. Of course you can have a perception change with different subjects and contexts but the general idea is as an overall optimistic or cynical perspective.

You can have a neutral perspective in that you evaluate with an objective perception filter vs a subjective perception filter.

Are you looking to establish a baseline? I'm going to guess, 'yes' - but you need to examine how the premise 'everyone has a core personality' is reflected in mental health literature. Maybe someone else can help me out on who did research under that belief - I'm sure someone must have.

Eh... Most people have an optimistic or cynical perspective. Generally depressed people will have a cynical perspective and generally happy go lucky people will have an optimistic perspective. Of course most people will try to sustain around a happy medium. Humanity tends to be avoidant of negatives before they look for attaining positive growth. This gets way too far into things so let's just go with most people in a happy relationship are at a happy medium baseline. Although I'm not really sure where this fit in. Things are getting a bit off course from the main objective of the forum thread.

Can you define 'super in love' and 'long term'? Most of what I read in this forums is people who are at the 6 month mark. That's a classic time for all relationships to either switch into 'gonna keep trying this with more commitment' vs 'yeah, not gonna work'.

Super in love = depth and strength of personality resonantation that induces a strong bond and extreme happiness in general for both parties. Love is like a drop of water. In love is like drowning in it.

Long term relationship = 6+months but can be shorter if the length of relationship time is easily projected to go well beyond a year due to compatibility and intentions of both parties. Some people I have dated for over a year but would not consider marrying but my previous partner we both knew we were good to go long term and got engaged within 3 months and we weren't wrong as we lasted 4 years until PTSD complications induced a hell of a bail out scenario. Without our child dying and inducing PTSD in my partner, things would be more than amazing even with the annoying financial situation that we were in considering almost everyone ends up with being laid off or fired at least a few times during marriage with kids.

The point was that things were all good for considerable amounts of time, both parties kept investing in the relationship actively of their own accord, both parties kept using future planning statements such as "when we have kids", "when we get a house someday", "I won't let our kids...", and then within a month, two weeks, a week, a day, the PSTD sufferer flips completely to the opposite and leaving and going siletnt or saying you deserve someone better than me or the other common statements and actions commonly noted in supporter relationship posts...That is the bail out scenario I commonly speak of in my comments and threads.

 

[joeylittle]

When a person is given a drug that induces a happy up feeling, even bad things can be perceived as a neutral value or positive value and their personality will also have a more positive value added to it.

When I read this, I read you suggesting that the personality itself changes, based on the emotional value being added - is that correct, in your view?

People also generally are said to be either a glass half full or glass half empty.

I think you are probably looking towards the five-factor theory of personality. Here's a pretty long article: http://www.workplacebullying.org/multi/pdf/5factor-theory.pdf and here's a much shorter one: https://www.verywell.com/the-big-five-personality-dimensions-2795422

Super in love = depth and strength of personality resonantation that induces a strong bond and extreme happiness in general for both parties. Love is like a drop of water. In love is like drowning in it.

How can we know, based on one person's report, that this is what is happening for both parties? I do have a skeptical streak - so when I read thread upon thread of people saying that 'everything was great for three, four months, and then the person started drifting away, and is this the PTSD' - I question whether the relationship was actually mutual. I think that what you describe as a committed relationship being formed after 4 months is very much the exception, not the rule - though, I don't have any stats to back that up. In my opinion, you'd be looking at a more representative sample if you restricted to people who have been in the relationship full time, in person (not long-distance) for at least 12 months. Again, just my opinion.

I'm also wondering where you are with PTSD as an actual physical injury affecting the brain. There's some research that points that way, other research that does not - so it's very much a hypothesis. Where does that fit into the before and after picture of the personality and how it is affected? There's good data showing that a TBI can cause personality shifts - now, that is an injury on an understood, large, visible scale, so I might be making a bad comparison, here - but how would that play into the notion of a neutral personality?

This gets way too far into things so let's just go with most people in a happy relationship are at a happy medium baseline. Although I'm not really sure where this fit in.

Only that you were assuming an 'in-between' state, the part where the PTSD sufferer is apparently fine. So, I wanted to understand your meaning, there, and why looking at it through that lens was useful for you. That's all - not meaning to draw off-topic.

 

[Justmehere]

Mr Smith,

Everyone has a core personality.... When a person is in a neutral emotional state, their perception of reality and their personality is unfiltered by emotion.

This is not a correct definition of what personality is. In fact, dictionary.com, a website you have already cited, has this definition for personality:
"Psychology - a.) the sum total of the physical, mental,emotional, and social characteristics of an individual."

Personality used to be thought of something that was core and innate. This is changing due to new research. Check out this article: Link Removed This article describes how personality can be changed in a few weeks and references a study based out of the 5 factors of personality that @joeylittle referenced.

Super in love = depth and strength of personality resonantation that induces a strong bond and extreme happiness in general for both parties. Love is like a drop of water. In love is like drowning in it.

This "extreme happiness" phase involves a lot of biochemical reactions in the body. (See: Link Removed)
Most psychologists describe love as a matter of attachment, commitment, and passion. Some add in various other factors. The book A General Theory of Love (which discusses attachment and trauma at considerable length) discusses how love sometimes involves deep pain and sadness. Love that lasts moves on past the extreme happiness phase of the first 18 months of a relationship, and involves many emotions beyond just happiness.

The response I expected as a response but thought I'd give you a chance to be reasonable.

Well that's kind of a snarky response, but so be it. People will see this for what it is.

It does remind me though, that not every behavior of a PTSD sufferer is due to PTSD or any mental health condition. On the forums here, it can be seen that sometimes the anger or the shut out by a sufferer is not actually a pathological matter or due to PTSD at all. Sometimes it is a normal and natural response to unhealthy behavior in others. Everyone brings "stuff" to a relationship. Sometimes when a PTSD sufferer shuts out someone, it may be a reaction to unhealthy behaviors in a supporter, who pushes people away because of their own stuff.

Good researchers get peer reviewed. Since you are into definitions, check out the definition of peer reviews and how they apply to your "systematic inquiry or investigation into a subject in order to discover or revise facts, theories, applications." Elsevier is a well known clinical journal and they have stated: "Peer review helps validate research, establish a method by which it can be evaluated, and increase networking possibilities within research communities... peer review is still the only widely accepted method for research validation." (https://www.elsevier.com/reviewers/what-is-peer-review) They also have a great article about why peer review matters and makes people better researchers. Check it out at: https://www.elsevier.com/reviewers-...-and-advice/5-reasons-why-peer-review-matters

If I was trying to pull some card on you, I would not bother passing on these articles to you.

sincerely,
not the enemy ;)

 

[anonymous]

The response I expected as a response but thought I'd give you a chance to be reasonable.

OK. I think I give up answering your threads as it really doesn't seem to matter what is said to you. You imply the answer wasn't reasonable. Everyone answering you on this thread has more or less said the same thing. Justmenow answers you very thoroughly and with a lot of knowledge and your answer to her hones straight back to your agenda and then implies lack of reason. I quite frankly find it astonishing. And disturbing. I am truly starting to think you either discount anything anyone with PTSD has to say (possibly think we are incapable of reason) or in general are someone who always knows better even when they have no expert knowledge.

My biggest concerns are that other supporters may listen to you, and that your wife may end up being more harmed by all these incorrect assumptions you are making. An assumption of a set "episode" , or any other term you want to apply to your scenario, existing in the way you mean is faulty. A lot of damage can be done under the umbrella of so called kindness that may sometimes actually be ego or other things.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

When someone is depressed their perception of reality is given a more negative value and their personality will also have a more negative value given to it. When fairly drunk you will get this depressed value and why it is called a depressant.

No, its called a depressent because it depresses emotional state, response time etc. which has nothing to do with my personality. Alcohol doesnt change my personality, if it did, i would be "changed" when not drunk. And we arent speaking of physical withdrawl symptoms but that also doesnt change personality.

Personality is formed at about age 7: Dead Link Removed (though I dont think you are bothering to read any of the great links put your way).

Ever heard of "The Formative Years"? Thats when personality is developed. TBI has had studies on completely changing it...but my personality isnt changed because i got drunk.

When a person is given a drug that induces a happy up feeling, even bad things can be perceived as a neutral value or positive value and their personality will also have a more positive value added to it. For instance zoloft and other drugs within that family will do that.

What? What evidence do you have to back your incorrect statements?

Generally depressed people will have a cynical perspective and generally happy go lucky people will have an optimistic perspective.

Thats not a true statement AT ALL!

Super in love = depth and strength of personality resonantation that induces a strong bond and extreme happiness in general for both parties. Love is like a drop of water. In love is like drowning in it.

Also, what?

I second this statement:

In my opinion, you'd be looking at a more representative sample if you restricted to people who have been in the relationship full time, in person (not long-distance) for at least 12 months. Again, just my opinion.

And this one:

Everyone brings "stuff" to a relationship. Sometimes when a PTSD sufferer shuts out someone, it may be a reaction to unhealthy behaviors in a supporter, who pushes people away because of their own stuff.

It would be different you asked "Has anyone that's been in a supporter/sufferer reltionship 12+ months have their sufferer leave?" AND stay open to every single repsonse given to you. Your statements arent just flawed, they are absolutely incorrect. You dont even take in the possibilty of cormobilty and BPD is often with PTSD and often does the (what you call) the "episode" of exploding or leaving or whatever. You are taking out every single individual issues & sitiations and you are trying to predict when your sufferer will come back in reality that is impossible and spewing incorrect info isnt going to give you want you want.

My opinion, stop making threads and actually read and take in each and every single reply and read and take in each and every link and then try to re-measure what you are looking for. Though i dont think you will.

Im done with all of your threads. I understand why you are looking for this but it is flawed at its core and completely incorrect info isnt going to help anyone and i tried to show you respect, kindness, understanding but what i and everyone gets back when you dont agree is harsh snarkyness. So im done!

 

[Deleted member 17302]

I think I give up answering your threads as it really doesn't seem to matter what is said to you.

Pretty sure I've asked you to stop replying to my threads before. Sadly I can't go to your profile and ignore it because I would due to the irritating content of your posts.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Ignore everything you dont agree with... :tup:

 

[Sandstone]

What term do you use for a set of events or phenomenon that is noticeably different from from the rest of a set of events or phenomenon within a timeline if not episode?

I think "phase" or possibly "stage" might be possible candidates