Ptsd Is Ruining My Relationship With Everyone

[Deleted member 29311]

Are there still fireworks going off where you live? I know Canada Day was yesterday, but it's the weekend,...

No more fireworks.. Did you check some out yesterday? : )

 

[Deleted member 29311]

Are there still fireworks going off where you live? I know Canada Day was yesterday, but it's the weekend,...

I'm quite lucky because there's a park near my backyard and the city was firing fireworks last weekend.. I was watching them from my balcony (with ear plugs lol) which was really nice!

 

[hodge]

Cool! Yeah, I like seeing them, but not hearing them. They startle me too much, even though I know the noise is coming.

 

[EveHarrington]

I think it's good that you're willing to give medication a try.

 

[ms spock]

How about trying DBT to move in the direction of emotional regulation @CMan? It is really worth a good looking into - see if you can get a therapist who does DBT or join a DBT group? Another good one for stopping lashing out at other people is Kristin Neff's Self Compassion - it is hard going but worth doing. CBT - the whole David Burns' thing is very helpful.

Walking away from the situation before you boil over could be a good first goal to aim for at this time.

 

[The Albatross]

What about a perceptual shift? Instead of "it's only a matter of time til I ....", how about, "Man, I've gone as low as I wanna go and I need to do some things differently, like learn to regulate my emotions". PTSD, like it or not, is part of us... you. It is something that can improve when it's worked on, rarely ever when it's not. Didn't read back, but Cman, verbally going off on people gets you resentment, retaliation or abandonment. PTSD doesn't do that... the inability to control or manage the reactivity does.

 

[Truthful_Whispers]

Sadly, it does, yes. It's simply the nature of the beast. And, if you are with someone else who is afflicted with it, the effect is quadrupled.

 

[chris Ann]

I've screwed up so badly today and I'm completely in the wrong this time, I'm taking responsibility for my...

I cannot believe how much sounds like me. Everyone is afraid of me, my anger scares me. Sometimes I just don't give a f*ck.

 

[Alistair]

I've lost my marriage and my home over this.
Don't let that happen to you.

Don't ask your girlfriend to hate you, ask her what she wants to see you do....and then make a plan to make those things happen. ..and do the hardest part first.

Her love for you will grow a thousand-fold.

 

[Pakadlangitok]

(((((CMAN)))))) I am so very glad you wrote this. I have been feeling like a total failure as of late because I also have explosive outbursts.

Everything has piled up to such a ridiculous degree that I have become excessively suicidal because I do not want to be a monster. I feel like a monster.

Mostly I keep it down but something happens. It may be the physical pain I am in. It may be the past intruding. It may even be a thought but THEN I will start to tremble.

Trembling.....That is the start. It may be a good couple HOURS before it hits. So I panic because I know it is coming and I do things like pray or listen to music or call a friend or lay down trying so hard to make it go away. This shaking makes it hard for me to detach like Grey Owls very wise advise. It takes over like trembling and shaking.

And then someone will say one tiny word or someone may smile and laugh and remind me of an emotion I can not feel or they may tell me to clean up the kitchen after I have just spent two f-ing hours fighting so hard...........

THEN BAM!!!! Just like that!!! MO#(ther)* FU^(#&ck5(*)ER!!!! And I am off. Table over glasses smashed, "Help me! This is not me!"

It makes me more than sad because I was not like this and I do not want to be like this.

I always apologize and beg forgiveness and hate myself afterwards......how can this end???