Sufferer Ptsd Relapse

[jacx]

Hi,
I was first diagnosed with PTSD when I was put in foster care aged14 - abuse & neglect from my addicted birth parents. I was also abused again in one of my foster homes - pretty typical story. I pulled through pretty ok and was able to finish school, start a career & start a family. Then I lost my only child in a devastating accident that also left me permanently disabled. Also my partner left in the aftermath of the accident.

That was 10 years ago, and I managed to rebuild my life again. But my physical condition is still quite frail, and last year I had a severe health crisis that cost me my job and relationship and my apartment. I've been feeling pretty completely defeated.

I'm back in weekly therapy & taking Wellbutrin (300 mg) for depression & Risperdal (1 mg) as a sleep aid & for anxiety. And all my other meds for various health problems I have.

Was briefly admitted to the psych ward for suicidal thoughts but now I'm out. I just don't think that I have it in me to start over again. I think I'm pretty much finished.

Thank you for listening & I'd really appreciate any advice or support that you can offer.

 

[Namenotdiagnosis]

Hi and welcome X in so sorry for your trauma and losses in life X you are an amazing person to get to where you are . Please do not give up, You have been through so much and through hard work Nd dedication you managed to rebuild your life, continue with your treatment and medication and see how it pans out , your obviously a fighter and you have proved that to yourself and others over the years i have every faith in you X

 

[potager]

Hello @jacx

I am so sorry to read what has happened to you. Life can be so cruel in so many ways.

I am new here too and drinking up the knowledge and experience contained in these forums. Keep reaching out, I think that this is a place where people can learn to begin to heal.

 

[intothelight]

@jacx Welcome to the forum!

I am sorry to read about your loss and hope that you find the support helpful as you work on getting better. Sometimes it is just getting through one hour at a time. Please continue to post and reach out as you really are among people who understand.

 

[jacx]

Thank you for the kind welcome.

It's strange but I kind of feel worse than I did when I was in obvious distress. I mean, it's great that I'm no longer being threatened with hospitalization, but I just feel so tired. It's not really an improvement, though I guess it sounds that way.

Does anyone here understand?

Thank you.

 

[potager]

Hi @jacx

Glad you came back to the forum. I've not been here for a few days...

I have experienced periods of intense tiredness in the past. For many years I needed at least 12 hours peg night to feel ok. I felt this as a half life, even though many people said I should be pleased that I was able to sleep as insomnia is very common. This was a med reaction and linked to depression rather than PTSD. This came later... I am not suggesting this is the cause for you, just that I appreciate how disabling tiredness can be...

My other thought was how at other times I have slept a lot as a way of avoiding life. I also have craved sleep and it's restorative effects at times

I am not suggesting that any of these are the cause for you, just that I appreciate how disabling and isolating chronic and/or acute tiredness can be...

Good to talk to you ...

 

[jacx]

Thank you, @potager. I'm not really sleeping right now (that's what the Risperdal is for). So it's not really sleepiness. It's like my mind feels like it's giving out the way your legs do in a long run. Sorry, I'm not making much sense.

I really appreciate your response to my post. Thank you.

 

[potager]

Hi @jacx

Sorry to hear your about your struggles, but sure is nice to chat to you.

A lot of these things are indescribable, we try to make sense of them and sometimes the words perhaps don't exist. please don't apologise...

I have been given all sorts of meds previously, I am not a fan of them but I do hope that you are getting what your need from them at this time in your life. Sometimes none of the choices and options open to us are that palatable.

I may have strayed into talking about myself again sorry.

Best wishes to you @jacx