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Ptsd short term memory loss

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E.J.

New Here
Not sure if this is where this belongs, but oh well.
Last night my partner and I were in his car, parked in a similar spot to where I had been sexually assaulted. A moment of intimacy triggered a full blown flashback, the longest and most vivid I had ever had. I saw what I had been wearing at the time of the assault, and the man who did it to me instead of my partner. It was like I was there for a long time, reliving what had happened. According to my partner, all of this occurred within 30 seconds tops. He said that I then apologized and put my head down for a few minuets before he could get me to leave the car and go sit on the porch. He also said that I had been looking in his car for a lighter before he got me to leave, but I don’t know what that could have had anything to do with. We sat on the porch for evidently 15 minuets or so, he said I was rambling about what I could have done better, how I could have gotten out of the situation. He said that I looked up at him after a bit and asked his name, and told him that only my boyfriend wears tags after noticing his (he’s in the army), he gave me his tags and I read the name as asked if that was him. Evidently I asked three times. I remember this through a blur, and I know at the time I could not for the life of me place who he was. After about 20 minuets I calmed down and was back in my right mind again, after which he was supportive but hurt and scared that I didn’t remember who he was. I am terrified. I vaguely remember last night, like watching fragments through a fog. I could have sworn the man who assualted me was there, that I was in his truck. I’m horrified that I couldn’t place who the man I love was. Is this a thing that happens? Do other people experience it? And even moreso, how do I fix this? I’m so scared that I’m going crazy, or that the strain I’m putting will be detrimental to my relationship. Is this a real thing that people experience?
 
Yes, this is quite normal with PTSD. My short term memory goes out the window when I’m triggered. I think it’s a matter of healing, working on grounding, processing your trauma, etc.
 
But even to forget who a person is? I know my guy better than anyone and I couldn’t match his name to who he was.
 
Dissociation is a beast like that. I’ve run away screaming from my husband, having no idea who he was for a bit. We’d be in bed just being sweet or maybe being intimate or maybe watching a movie or whatever. And suddenly, some way he moved or something random would change and I’d take off through the house, out the door and down the road. (Reguardless of my state of dress). He would chase after me and bring me back and remind me of who he was. He would bring my dog in so I could pet him and ground myself or get me to drink some juice or something.
It would be good if you and your boyfriend can have a plan to deal with it when it happened. It will get easier over time.
 
I think a moment of triggering or flashback can interfere with all higher cognition and memory. Though I have recognized a voice immediately post (in?, Idk) FB, and a (safe) 'feeling' to the voice, but no more details.
 
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