Ptsd Triggered By Tsa

[cfkane]

I am a 47 year old male survivor of childhood sexual abuse. While traveling back from San Diego this weekend, I was subjected to a pat down by an angry aTSA agent. Immediately afterward I began to fell very angry and sad.

Over the past 3 days I have felt disconnected, numb, short tempered, and unsafe. I have also had a headache. I spoke to my sponsor about the situation. He said to try to look at it as "part of the adventure." I don't think he gets it. I feel ashamed to even tell people about it because part of me thinks I should be strong enough to deal with this.

I don't want this to stop me from traveling but I am afraid that I will have this reaction (or worse) again.

I would appreciate any feedback.

 

[Hashi]

I'm sorry that this happened to you. Your reaction is very understandable. There's nothing to be ashamed about. I think everyone here will understand, and those of us dealing with PTSD will have experienced similar things.

I think "strong enough to deal with this" has a different meaning when talking about trauma. It can take great strength to acknowledge our feelings and reactions.

I'm not sure from your post how much information you have about PTSD and recovery/healing, whether you're seeing a therapist etc. There are a lot of different approaches, as you'll see from posts on this site. What I expect people would agree on is that this type of reaction is to be expected, and that there are things you can do to manage the reaction, reduce it or become free of it.

You might find it useful to read the pinned posts at the top of some of the subforums like Discussion and Therapy. I hope that being on the forum generally will make you feel less alone and provide you with knowledge and support.

 

[Girl3]

CFK - I do everything I can to stay out of the grips of the TSA. I drive whenever possible. I go through the total body scanner rather than let them touch me, because my fear is that I will react which will make them more intrusive. Then I might go bat-shit-crazy, make the national news, and then everyone on the planet would know my history.

If it were inevitable that the person was going to pat me down, I believe I would tell them I have PTSD and that it would be helpful if they would cease being angry at least before they have to touch me.

So sorry you had that experience.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Hi CFK. I am sorry this happened to you. I wonder if you made a complaint against the angry person. I think that was very inappropriate to do that to You while they were angry. I would feel very violated. Surely this was a very triggering experience.

It has the element of being caught off guard and not prepared for it. If you have not made a complaint you canstill make one.

I hope you get some kind of closure from this. Wishing you the best. Good luck.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Op, I'm so sorry this happened to you!

I hate to sidebar, but can you ask for the full body scan instead of a pat down?

And if you have to do a patdown can you ask for a specific sex?

 

[kers]

I agree re: trying to get the body scan. I fly out of a major security airport and everybody gets a body scan, unless they request the patdown instead. However, I also know that some airports use patdowns if you set off the metal detector more than once (prior to the scan). I do not think that smaller airports have the body scan machines. The TSA requires that the agent be of your gender, unfortunately.

To allay some of your anxiety the next time you fly, perhaps you can prepare what you would like to say to the security inspector, ie "I have PTSD and am feeling very anxious. It would help me a lot if you explain what you are doing before you touch me." If you write it down, you could even hand it to them if you can't get the words out.

 

[Inspired 2 B Free]

CFK, that is a totally normal reaction when you have ptsd. Triggers swallow us up.

My experience is I since I can't predict what might be a trigger, I 've had to work through the pain of what caused me to have ptsd in the first place. (childhood sexual abuse) As I've been able to do this, my triggers have decreased dramatically. I hope you will find someone to help you process your pain. I truly believe you will find relief. This, of course, is in the long run....in the short run, reach out to safe people...journal, read, provide yourself with self-care. Best wishes...

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Uh oh. I'd take the body scan ANY DAY! I always fly out of the same airport, and I know that having set off the metal detector twice has resulted in a body scan rather than a pat down. Then again, regulations could have changed since then.

I was molested by a female, so I'd request a male to pat me down. I could only hope that I wouldn't freak out, but then again, my triggers often hit me 24 hours later. TSA should make allowances!!

Or, alternately, I could force a meltdown to draw attention to the unfairness of the rule. Yeah, that's exactly what TSA wants, a public meltdown from a trauma survivor because I can't handle a female patdown!

 

[Loner]

Healing from ptsd involves being exposed to triggers. THis might be too intense and too strong quite yet, but the things that ellicit these reactions in us actually allow us to connect to repressed emotions that we need to let out anyways in order to heal. You might not be ready for something this intense to be healing in any sense, and it wont be 'fun' regardless, but yea.

 

[cfkane]

Thank you all for your support. I went back to my counselor today (second time since the incident) and she recommended I check myself in to get stabilized. I still feel so anxious, angry, sad, and unsafe that I am am having trouble using the tools that have worked before, so I am going to take her advice.

I have no resentment toward the TSA agent. This has nothing to do with him. This is from the abuse I endured as a child.

I am taking action as a means of self care. I'll let you know how it goes.

 

[cfkane]

I was released from the hospital this tonight after spending 3 days in patient. It was the most amazing experience I hope to never repeat.

The first day and a half was terrifying. I have never felt so powerless in my life.
But I came to a point of acceptance and with the help of Carey, my amazing social worker, Dr. Feldman, an awesome psychiatrist, great techs, nurses and security guards I found my some peace.They adjusted my meds and gave me new resources and insights into PTSD.

I am so grateful for the love and support of my friends. There is now light in my life where earlier this week there was only darkness.