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Pushing Away, Withdrawing....

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Princessxx

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It's been 3 and a half weeks since my boyfriend got into a hit and run accident.

We've been together for almost two years and we have never been apart. We talk everyday and see each other every night after work.We've lived together but for this semester I moved back in at home just because of our schedules. Everything is great with us.

He was on his way to my house like every night when he got hit. He flew out of his moped and way laying on the ground while cars drove past him. Finally, someone called for help. As a result of the hit and run, he got broken ribs and dislocated shoulder. He has been going to the hospital and also getting MRIs.

The hardest part of this for me is that my boyfriend chose not to tell me. He told his boss and his landlord the day after the accident and this how I found out. He has been staying at his friends house and only comes home to maybe shower and grab clothes. He is also using his friends car to go to his doctors and stuff since his moped doesn't work. I've reached out to him through letters and messages. He sees them but he chooses not to respond for reasons that I don't know.

I know for a fact that he is very stressed out. He was already stressed before the accident happened because he is financially alone, supporting himself and his mom. He has no family here and his mom lives in another state.

As his girlfriend, I'm extremely worried and all I want to do is be there for him. I'm seeing a therapist which helps but sometimes I can't but feel depressed. Sometimes I feel neglected and betrayed because he chose not to tell me when he knows I will be there for him.

Has anyone experienced this? Not having answers is killing me.
 
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Hi Solara.

I believe that he is suffering from PTSD. And I just don't know how to help him. None of my friends or family know what to tell me either.

This is his 3rd hit and run accident but this is the first serious. Accident that he's had since we've been together. He's injured his hand before and he told me about that. I'd even go to rehab with him. I've talked to his bestfriend and he told me that the first two hit and runs that my bf had, he acted the same way. He just disappeared and came back acting normal like nothing happened and wouldn't talk about the accident.
 
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But I'm starting to feel like I'm also feeling some type of trauma. Every time I hear a moped or motorcycle pass by I get super alert. I just don't like seeing mopeds on the road now. Every time I see a person on a moped when I'm driving, I feel like I'm about to witness them get into an accident.

And because the landlord told me that my bf's friends car is a blue honda, I find myself looking at almost every single blue car on the road. I'm aware that I do these things but I can't help it!
 
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Maybe, The accident set off a bad reaction within himself. Maybe, He loves you and is scared him will loose you if you see him like this. Is he a war vet?
 
Thanks for the response Mercy!

He is not a war vet and has never been in the military.

He lost his football career when he got into his 2nd accident though before we were even together. Ever since then he's had muscle pains and his knee is just weaker.

I guess its hard for me to understand because he has never been this way. He is the most logical person I know and he's the one who takes communication in our relationship very seriously. And now he just disappeared right after the accident and won't communicate.

I have no doubts that he loves me and that is why I'm closing to be strong for him, for me and for us. It's just that sometimes I can't help but get depressed when I think about him. Being here makes me feel so much better, knowing that I'm not alone.
 
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If this most recent accident caused a resurgence in symptoms from PTSD from a previous accident, then I can understand his behavior. Unfortunately all you can do is tell him you love him and support him, but then give him
His space. I wish you the best.
 
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