Question about trigger avoidance

[frogthroat]

I'm triggered by strange women within a certain age range, and I am triggered by them because they remind me of my abuser. It doesn't feel right to me that I will always be triggered by women - even for a second or two - and that I will always have to work to dismiss being triggered by people who haven't done me any harm.

I feel the same way about men sadly in my age range that have a certain body type, face, and style of dress. It's just how it is. It doesn't have anything personally to do with men in general or a man with similar characteristics. My hair automatically stands on edge when I see a man with a similar look. It's your brain identifying potential danger just like animals do.

 

[somerandomguy]

@Junebug & @Freida: thanks, that helps a little bit. I wish this wasn't going to be so much work. I am boiling over with indignation over the unfairness of this. I feel like my abuser permanently broke my brain, and I'll never get to be normal again. Then again, no one ever said life was fair.

 

[Tinyflame]

Hey! @somerandomguy , I just had an idea that might help!

I was thinking, what do I do to manage, and many times I haven't 'set out' with an idea, but you can be creative!

For example, Oreo cookies were a trigger.. I'd avoid the store isle. Eventually I'd pass but 'look away'. Then I started thinking of holding 2 up like eyes and making someone laugh.

A certain beard, well most beards, trigger me. So I purposefully think of my cousin with a beard, and think of how my mom said it suited him

A person who was good had the same name of someone not so. :( I did not call the new person their name; I renamed the 'old' one. Eventually now, if I think of the old one's name it doesn't seem to 'fit' them.

I am really disturbed by a certain type of car (3, actually) but for this one it is the make, color, and I eventually realized when it 'crawls'. It would crawl by often, near where I got the bus (realized it was on the tv in the background, originally- not anyone's car). I think someone who lives near by (hopefully) because it was often. It used to creep me out for days. First I would steal myself and hold my breath. Then I would say a prayer when it went by and look away and tell myself not to be stupid. Now I imagine it's some very very old, driver who thinks 20 km is speeding, and I imagine a 'dottering old folk'. Etc.

In other words, if you can reduce the feeling of seriousness- be creative- it might help.

PS, ETA, I don't mean to sound I'm making light of it :( , nor is it easy to change something horrific to relatively-neutral or indifferent. But it helps with some peripheral triggers, and I think it's really a step-wise process.

Sometimes it's because I'm so sick of it/ sick of my own self/ reaction.

 

[recoveringfromptsd]

I don't think triggers ever 'go away'

I feel the same way, I feel I am stuck hurting all the time from what happened, I don't think that will ever go away, in fact I have come to the conclusion there is no treatment that will make enough difference to make life worth living. I am resigned to be always broken beyond repair.

 

[EveHarrington]

I've been trying to avoid talking about my specific trigger here but I want to avoid any misunders...

It’s not inevitable that this is your new normal.

I used to be triggered by a specific demographic of people. I’d have meltdowns in their presence. Now, I don’t even bat an eye.

Just remember, it’s different for everyone. Some triggers DO go away completely. The only way you’ll know if this is possible for you is when you experience it.

 

[CdnCopper]

If you manage to avoid triggers for a long period, let say several hours or several days, do you feel "normal" as in really good and without any anxiety, stress, mood, pain, improved sleep, etc?

This would be a miracle.

 

[Alli D87]

I feel like some are best avoided and cut out of your life (Like an abusive...mother in law...). Others need to be dealt with or they get exponentially worse.