Question For Sufferers About Relationships

[greenunflower]

MY DH was there for my trauma because it was my pregnancy, but is what I have yet to share with him, because I know it will be a really hard thing to work around, is how some of his behaviors are big triggers for me, because they remind me of things that made me feel very helpless, alone, and isolated, during my pregnancy.

He takes the stance that he did all he could, and really he did. My pregnancy was unreal. Which is why I ended up with PTSD. But letting him know he throws me into panic attacks with little offhanded comments, most of which I cant even remember right now to put on a list, will be a really hard thing in our relationship..


I will have to do it, and when I do it, I will also have to tell him that my agoraphobia includes him, that I get flashbacks from those things he says, that he causes me panic attacks, and that I am hypervigilant around him. Which will at first make him mad, but then very hurt.

And really those things he says would be everyday conversation in any relationship, but with a PTSDer they arent. I love my husband and of course dont want to leave him, I am just barely getting into therapy for this, and need to get a lot figured out first, before I can approach this huge thing.

 

[sidekick]

I have to say that the fact that he is ignoring or *forgetting* your triggers is a major RED FLAG....at least to me.......A carer, someone who loves you, has YOUR best interest at heart in my opinion would not want to cause you distress, hurt you in any way. Maybe an honest mistake 2 or 3 times. But you have been married 10 years? That just doesn't ring well.......

That is a major boundry issue........A respect thing.....How would he feel if you continued to do something that truly upset/triggered him, year after year?

I'm sorry that is happening. I know first hand how very hard it is. My husband did that our whole time together, never respected my boundries with me or my/our children. Including all those that were triggers to all of us. He would continue to do it time after time after time.

Love respects, as someone else posted that there is no excuse to treat others bad, PTSD or not. As long as we (me as a ptsd person) am seeking therapy, meds, working on myself and treat others how they should be treated, just as we would expect others to treat us. It is a two way street, PTSD or not....

 

[Pixie]

Hi all...

I just wanted to pop in briefly just to mention that my hubby isn't always like that. It is only this particular trigger really where he doesn't "get it". He is also incredibly understanding and it isn't very often that we can be intimate but he never complains and never pushes the subject too much.

Not in a great place right now so I just can't get my head around much in order to respond properly... maybe later... Feeling very much like :stupid:

Pixie

 

[Nicky31]

I understand what you are saying Pixie. There can just be some things that are tougher for people to understand and support with, but it doesn't write them off completely.

Look after you today.

Hugs Nic x:Hug_emoticon: