Question: Things that trigger pain

[OpenForSuggestions]

Do you ever find that you get hit over and over again, not in the fear, anxiety department, but in a deep, personal injury that you keep re-experiencing and feel the pain from. Kind of like the danger aspect, where you keep feeling you're reliving a dangerous situation, but it's like you're reliving your deepest pain. Like an exposed nerve that when anyone accidentally bumps against it, you're overreacting at them just like you would with the fear/anxiety aspect? Is that a normal thing for ppl who experience trauma?

It's kind of like struggling to forgive someone or struggling because someone you love and trusted hurt you in a way that was connected to the trauma, and it's more difficult to get over because of that connection.

 

[pam4him]

Yes, this is a "normal" reaction for trauma. People react differently to different aspects of trauma. There is almost a double whammy when the trauma is caused by someone you love and trusted. It can create a rift in the relationship that may be hard to bridge. If you are in treatment, please discuss with your therapist. If not, please consider seeking counseling to help work through this. One thing you might can do in the meantime is to write a letter to the person who hurt you, BUT DO NOT SEND IT! The point is to get out the emotion safely, then "let it go" by destroying the letter. This can help the healing process for you. Take care of yourself mentally, physically and emotionally. Prayers for peace and strength.

 

[OpenForSuggestions]

Thank you, pam4him. That helps. I'd love to get it out, let it go. Tried it many times. A lot of times, I don't even have access to those emotions. They're too deep. Occasionally, one of them will come up and out, and I'll be able to let it go, but never when I'm trying for it. When it happens is when I'm thinking of something completely different, paying no attention to emotions as I'm driving down the road or doing something completely unrelated. I just stir myself up when I go after those feelings intentionally.

Therapist...been there, done that, the t-shirt was too expensive. I don't trust easily, and I'm afraid my run-ins with therapists have not improved that. I talk to God, friends and family. (along with anonymous posts to the entire world, of course)

 

[Friday]

For sure. For a lot of different reasons.

Flashbacks, intrusive thoughts, survivors guilt, regret, remorse, punishment, fear of forgetting / a seriously f*cked up effort to honor someone else, fear for someone else, fear of making the same mistakes, needing to “up” my ________ (ability to feel anything, keep my stress levels “happy” IE at Emergency! Levels when there is no emergency, as well as a few others), because I’m mad at myself, because I’m happy and “shouldn’t” be, because I don’t trust myself, because I’m avoiding something else and this may be big bad but it’s also seriously shiny distracting, because, because, because, because, because... :wtf:

There are a helluva lot of reasons I rake myself over the coals, gut myself, or decide to wallow in misery. Some deliberate, most not. I haven’t found any of them to be useful to me, my life, or anyone else.

 

[pam4him]

I get what you are saying. At least they are sometimes coming up. And it's not uncommon that it happens when thinking on other things. The brain feels safe and "allows" something to come out. And yes, the t-shirts are expensive. But not all therapists are alike. Prayers that you will find one that "gets" you and can provide actual help. And keep talking to God, he will provide.

 

[OpenForSuggestions]

@Friday I'm sorry that's a struggle for anyone, me, you and numerous others. For me, it's a thorn in my side that needs to be pulled out. For others, it's a tape recorder that plays over and over and over again. To forgive oneself or to forgive someone else. To deal with emotions you shouldn't continually be having to feel or emotions you think you should. I just wish it didn't affect my life so much. It was so much easier when it didn't show, when I could keep it hidden.

@pam4him Thank you