Questioning My Motives

[cragger65]

Thanks Anthony, that's pretty apparent when you put it that way. And thank you She Cat, I think I tend to think of having ego as a negative, rather than a basic human characteristic and need.

And thank you much Dylan, I guess that is what I'm wrestling with - I want the praise, but I know if I do not develop a sense of worth of my own, the "stroke", no matter how genuine, is only fleeting.

So now my question to you is, what do you do for yourself to build that self esteem? What works for you?

 

[Dylan]

Hi Cragger,

The method that works best for me, with the most profound and noticeable results, is a related form CBT, but broader. CBT wasn't as helpful to me because it seems more based on logic.

Logic is well and good, but logic was not enough for me. If all it took was thinking about it, I'd have recovered long, long ago. So, if I'm trying to develop a truly responsive inner resource (not indulgent, not depriving/harsh) then I need to connect more deeply with my "authentic self", bring to light that inner core wisdom/strength and start "wiring" to that instead of to the helpless/powerless/despairing/defcon 5 response that abuse and PTSD created.

So, what I practice is called the Solution Method (as in having a solution to (di)stress), also called DST - developmental skills training. It's based on cutting edge neuroscience and the exciting discoveries made around neuroplasticity. The founder has written in her workbooks that, "I hope you'll keep walking this path until you have your Solution", so if you're interested in checking it out, the website is w w w . thepathway . org (I put in spaces because otherwise it's a "live link" and I'm not sure how to disable).

I have had more and longer lasting success with this method than with any other tool I've tried (hypnosis, EMDR, EFT, talk therapy, CBT, medication, etc). I still meditate, but even that practice (45-90 minutes a day for 2 years) hasn't brought about the same results because it isn't as focused on what one is trying to rewire; it's more general rewiring I guess (I practiced vipassana meditation).

Anyway...that's what I use. :rolleyes:

-Dylan

 

[Cindy]

I find this the hardest thing to do. Finding internal self worth. Recognizing my personal accomplishments. Being satisfied with the projects I complete without criticizing my work. I just can't let it go.

I am always 'privately' starving for positive comments on what I say or do. But they are rare it seems.

I'm thankful this discussion came up ..... time for some reflection on this.

Cindy