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Questions about avoidance

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we isolate to save you from dealing with the shit storm that happens during isolation. I like to think of it like everyone is walking on pavement but my pavement is full of holes and eventually I fall in a hole. Everyone else has to stay on their pavement. They can't help me up. I must deal with my demons, and dig myself out. But while in there think of it like a tornado and anything we touch is going to get affected by it. So we isolate.

That's exactly where I am at now. Everyone is in the line of fire -- and I know I can't stop myself. I've even been avoiding coming here because I'm afraid I will blow up at someone. But at the same time it is a great outlet because people here understand and I don't have to lie. And if I piss you all off -- well lets face it. That is safer than taking out my friends and family in the real world.
 
There is no treatment yet. I don’t even think he realizes what it really going on with him. He sees...
I feel like I'll reading my own story. I truly understand what you are going through. I'm still trying to muddle through the confusion. This site has been so incredibly helpful.
 
I feel like I'll reading my own story. I truly understand what you are going through. I'm still trying to...
I agree about the site. It’s been a rough weekend for me and I’ve also learned he’s been mia to his best friends. I can’t help my constant worry, but I haven’t tried contacting him. It’s difficult...all of it.
 
I completely agree. Apparently though, my husband has been hiding this for a few years... And one night it all came exploding out of him. he basically gave me a few months to come to terms with everything, and the next thing I knew, we were in divorce court a few days before Thanksgiving. For some strange miraculous reason though, he has agreed to go to marriage counseling although none of the divorce stuff has been put on hold as of yet. Tomorrow is our first session... For now though, he has chosen to live in a camper in the parking lot of his work rather than be under the same roof with me, his wife of 15 years, and our two year old son. I've read just about everything I can get my hands on to try and understand this. I don't have any answers for you either, just know that you aren't alone. I know that that has brought me a lot of comfort through this really crazy time.
 
@Cleo1521, I was sitting here, staring at my white screen, trying to find words that aren't there about how to dig my way out of isolation. I have tried everything to digging, controling symtpoms, trying to manage stress better, focusing on training my dog (as my service dog so the importance of that usually works), writing down what I am going to train and when and how, writing down sub catigories to those (obviously these are in order of failuar), going through the DBT book. Stopped everything and just sat. Got back up digging again. And OMG! Like, how do I get back some bit of functuonality? Obviously I can't bring my therapist back from a vacay but hopefully Thurs that will help. But, I wanted to start a thread and just ask for opinions and things I didn't think of that worked for others but just sat there. Wanting to type so badly, reaching for words but they weren't there. I remember this thread and realized that I never made the point to say he may not know how to get out of isolation either. That he maybe digging and digging and planning and writing and charting and going through all of this crap unable to get back to life where you are. So, I thought I would share that with you in case that helped any to at leaat understand timeframes of isolation a bit more. And why they can be vwry long timeframes and why there is zero way to pin down a timeframe. Sorry to ramble. I hope that helps a bit.
 
@Cleo1521, I was sitting here, staring at my white screen, trying to find...
Thank you for this. Like I’ve said before I really don’t think he even knows what is going on with him or how to even begin to deal with it. From what I gather he’s out doing things that are only going to make things worse...like drinking or other dumb shit. He can find time for stuff like that but not for the people who have done nothing but be there for him?
 
From what I gather he’s out doing things that are only going to make things worse...like drinking or other dumb shit. He can find time for stuff like that but not for the people who have done nothing but be there for him?

Self medication. Numbing the pain. People that have been there for him likely reminds him of the pain that he doesn't want to feel. Just a guess though.
 
Self medication. Numbing the pain. People that have been there for him likely reminds him o...
Well my guess on that is the same as yours. He goes to therapy today. I’m hoping he goes anways. Thank you for all that you continue to share. It’s really helped me put my thoughts into a different direction.
 
He goes to therapy today.

Remember it can take time. A lot of time. I huffed duster for literally 2 yrs of therapy. Remember it will get worse before it gets better. Way worse many times. Just things to keep in mind. But either way, treatment is better then no treatment. So that's good!
 
Remember it can take time. A lot of time. I huffed duster for literally 2 yrs of therapy....
Oh I’m well aware of it getting worse before it gets better. The messed up parts of my own head would rather take the hit of this and think it’s 100% just about me if it meant he’s not struggling. That’s how I thought the first time this happened.
 
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