Quit Using The Green

[Kintsugi]

Anyone who has seen me post on drug use may be surprised to know I just quit smoking marijuana.

I generally smoked 3- maybe 10 times a day. It helped lots and lots of my symptoms--sleep, nightmares, appetite, depression, anger, anxiety... My weird perfectionistic tendencies in academia.

This may belong in accomplishments and success because I'm really just here to kinda pat myself on the back and discuss the effects of quitting I've seen.

Surprisingly, I have not picked up more destructive traits to fill the void, which is my MO. I haven't been drinking heavily or demon driving or anything like that.

I have experienced an increase in thoughts of self-harm, but I've quelled them successfully and never followed through, though I have had to stop myself from biting my tongue when in distress.

This is compounded by the fact that my SO quit as well. I actually quit for him as he needs to be clean and quit before him to encourage him. He's manic depressive, so really the hardest part thusly has been dealing with him dealing with this. He's edgy and quick to anger. But it's getting better.

I did it the most dramatic and final way I knew how. When I went to see my parents, I just didn't bring any, so I put myself in the most stressful position imaginable without my vice with no safe way of getting any. The most I drank while there was three glasses of wine before bed, but usually one or two.

I realize now why it was recommended I quit. Things are buried when I'm under the influence. Grounding was the most difficult part, but that was a huge combination of my situation at large.

Now we'be both kicked it and I'm feeling pretty good, though I do struggle with sleep, nightmares, and appetite.

I haven't had any v/a hallucinations since quitting that I can remember.

 

[Linda Lee Bogard - King]

Do what is good for you and let the rest fall into place.. Be the calm :)

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Congrats!

 

[PeekieBlue]

Well done. I love hearing stories like yours which proves we can do anything if we are determined enough.
Keep up the good work :-)

 

[Kintsugi]

Linda, you know I'm jealous of your status. Always have been. ;)

 

[Philippa]

Nice to hear. I myself have just taken up smoking weed with a vengeance...mainly as a reaction to coming home from holiday to find my cat in the vet morgue. I have been stoned every day all day for the past week, and am only now emerging...but may brain isn't loving it. It wants more weed...NOW!

 

[nomedic1]

Well done excellent work.

 

[Kintsugi]

Nice to hear. I myself have just taken up smoking weed with a vengeance...mainly as a reaction to coming home from holiday to find my cat in the vet morgue. I have been stoned every day all day for the past week, and am only now emerging...but may brain isn't loving it. It wants more weed...NOW!

I have to say, Phillipa, I really don't think there is anything wrong with smoking lots of weed if it isn't inhibiting obligations. I frankly would not have graduated from college without it, because I would have collapsed in a fiery ball of perfectionistic anxiety. I also wouldn't have made it through a lot of tough times, I don't think, without having it to calm me down and assisting me from taking a step back and being patient. That is something I've had to learn to do without it, but it's really not something I had any skill in at all before becoming a stoner. Similar to how cigarettes have demonstrated to me that everyone, in my opinion, should take ten minutes outside to themselves every 2-4 hours whether they smoke or not, I have found that everyone should also have the experience of learning to have their own "chill-out sessions," with or without weed, where they can take an hour or so to forget about a long term problem that's bothering them and focus on positive and calming things before returning to the issue.

I hope you do whatever is best for you. I smoked heavily for I guess 3-ish years, and I'll probably go back to smoking in moderation at a more stable period of my life, probably in graduate school. Though I will say if you're like me and have access to the cream of the crop, it's damned expensive.

 

[Philippa]

Thanks for saying MissAS. I don't think it's a big deal either. I only usually smoke when I am bleeding as it helps with PMS and cramps, and I stopped altogether for about 15 years, when I was abusing it and much more committed to healing and I wanted to feel everything, no matter how painful. That was just where my path took me. I no longer enjoyed weed, and my credo is that if you do it, make sure you enjoy doing it, and if you no longer enjoy doing it (whatever it is) then just stop doing it...just like that.

These days I kinda enjoy it again...and I seem to be better able to handle it as well...which was not the case back in my early 20's. I rarely get paranoid, and I can handle being around people when I do smoke...at least, people I know somewhat. So thankyou for that...though it does make me want to run out the door right now and buy another $50 and just chortle that up like it's candy. :D

 

[jesse]

Wow that is pretty amazing good for you having that much will power especially being around family! My boyfriend smokes a lot but it helps him and he doesn't act stoned just levels him out. I get so paranoid it is terrible. Anyway congrats!

 

[AngelKeeperJ]

Congrats! October 8th, I celebrated one year without marijuana. NEVER thought it could happen. Several things helped me: My best friend, and smoking buddy, moved away with her husband. Supplier ran out, and couldn't/wouldn't pay the higher prices for the good, and the biggest reason...I was tired of 'wearing' the guilt and shame of being and secret user. It permeated my whole being, in all ways, and was sick of that feeling.

The best thing, is that exactly 2 months later, my dad died. I know had I still been smoking, I would have completely gone crazy and would have ended in the psyche ward. The timing was perfect.

I don't crave it, and I don't miss it. I was a heavy smoker for over 40 years, and NEVER thought I could quit. I'm still surprised now and then.

Best of blessings to you!

 

[Woof]

I quit for a period of time. My symptoms escalated. I didnt ingest although I had it. My spouse, after about 2 months asked me...."Would you please smoke some pot?" And, I did. Symptoms gone.

I still smoke, but I dont smoke for oblivion. I can smoke a joint for a week. I dont require copious quantities to have the symptoms kept at bay.

Why I stopped, I don't know....the moment I had relief from the symptoms...I thought to myself, "Well, that was a dumb experiment". I know my problems wont go away, I understand it is only a temporary measure....but why deny myself relief if I am at home, not driving, my responsibilities are not forsaken and the only thing I attack is my refrigerator?

I am 50 years old, I am not a teenager.