Quitting Smoking

[shimmerz]

I am in a real bind. I feel totally trapped. I am a smoker.

I have been told by EVERY doctor I have to NOT quit smoking. That it is a bad time to do so. Not certain that there will ever be a good time to do so.

I have led up to the stop smoking thing by quitting triggers. Coffee. Sweets. I have been doing smoothies (green) only. Not eating anything bad for me. This has been a 4 week wind up to my quit day.

So, for the past 2 days I have not smoked. And here is what has happened.

Day 1 and Day 2 I have slept most times. I am noticing that I am not breathing, which is a typical thing for me when I don't smoke. I have been using one of those smoking 'pens (?)', hoping that would help.

Day 1 nightmares like I can't describe.

Day 2 worse nightmares but also an almost incessant bunch of crying. I can't do much besides silent tears, as sobbing puts me into a deep, deep, dark place (last time I was hospitalized).

Day 3 (today), I wanted to dig my nails into my skin and rip it off. I also had visions of ripping my hair out. Not the normal 'jeez, I want to rip my hair out', but literally seeing myself doing it. The nurse was in this morning for my SO and I couldn't even talk. I kept having to walk out of the room if she spoke to me because I knew if I answered I was going to go into this huge sobbing fit. I can't tell you how much that sobbing thing terrifies me.

Do any of you have/had such reactions when trying to quit? Any advice at all? I literally felt like I was dropping into the rabbit hole of psychosis.

Oh, and BTW, I bought a pack of smokes. Smoked one and I could feel myself breathe, think, slightly calm again. Prior to buying the smokes I was seriously thinking of ways to kill myself. This is not a normal state for me.

I would like to mention that I had actually quit smoking through my PTSD stuff. I was a non smoker and loved it. But I also recognize that my not smoking while in that relationship was absolutely something that was used against me (my husband at the time smoked). I think I have that wrapped up in there too.

I am going to make a doctors appt asap to see if they can help me. Not sure if I mentioned that before.

Thanks so much
Shimmerz

 

[joeylittle]

I have been using one of those smoking 'pens (?)', hoping that would help.

Does it contain nicotine?

And, the cigarettes you smoke(d) - were they non-additive or did they have additives?

 

[shimmerz]

No, no nicotine. And yes, the cigarettes I smoke do contain addictive additives.

I am pretty shocked I got through those two days. And i have to say that I believe one of the biggest issues is the fact that I don't know how to breathe deeply (diaphragm) at all without smoking. Not saying nicotine isn't an issue, but I think the breathing thing is the biggest issue.

 

[ladee]

I hate this is going to be ten times harder for you Shimmy. Its like any drug. It cloaks our feelings.
I am a smoker also. I will never quit. So anyone that kicks this is a hero.
Very few kick the first try. So don't beat yourself up if this is not the time.
I know you will give this all you have. Lots of support.
And love.

 

[Deleted member 541]

@shimmerz When I was a smoker I foxed out at 100% (you know that thing they put of your finger to see how much O2 you have). Within a week or 2 after quitting mine dropped down to 96%. It's because when we smoke, we inhale deep dragging on the butt. When we don't smoke, we don't deep breath.

There are times I don't even think I'm breathing because I breath so shallow, especially at night when I'm trying to fall asleep.

I also think that you are going through withdrawals, which is normal, and believe me CRAZY BATSHIT thoughts enter your mind while withdrawing from cigs. It's a powerful drug. People don't realize just how powerful nicotine is, until they try to quit smoking. It was me of the hardest things I have EVER EVER done.

Keep trying, keep fighting and things will get better. It will take at least 1 month for the worst of it, and a good 6 before things really calm down.... Just be patient with yourself and most of all be KIND to yourself. This is a really rough patch to go through!!!! Many hugs for trying!!!!,

 

[UnKnown-Self]

I have been told by EVERY doctor I have...

Hi @shimmerz
I quit smoking for seven years. When I picked up again it seemed more like seven days. I tried the smoke pens but they did not help. I now smoke a vape and I am down to 4 mil of nicotine. The vape is a little more obvious but for me the difference was the pens didn't create much smoke/vapor. The vape does and there is something about pulling in the vape and blowing out that cloud of vapor that became (for me) preferable to cigarettes. Is it any better health wise? I don't know. But it is cleaner and I can go down the hall to the ladies room at work to take a couple hits which is better than going outside. I can't say for sure it is cheaper but it is not more expensive. Do some online research. Kangertech makes a good product so you can start there. Good luck. :hug: Alice

 

[joeylittle]

Just agreeing with everyone -

Work on re-training your breathing, so that it is consistently deep/full.

Replace the nicotine, come off the chemicals, and then step down the nicotine. Since you had additive cigarettes, you'll be going through withdrawal on those chemicals plus nicotine. That's a lot to do at once. The brain stops producing certain things when they are artificially replaced by nicotine, and it takes around four weeks to get your body doing what it used to do pre-nicotine dependency.

If you want to get off of any inhalant, use the gum or the patch instead of a vape pen.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I know it is time for me to quit smoking but I have been unable to do it yet. I admire you for such a good start on your quitting. The damn things do not even give me pleasure anymore! I think the tobacco companies have us freebasing nicotine now and that is exactly why it is so much harder to quit. I figure if you can do maybe there is hope for me. Congratulations.

 

[shimmerz]

You know, my concern was the feeling that I was going absolutely insane. I can deal with an awful lot of stuff, you know? We all can. But it scares me to think that these freaking cigarettes make me feel, when I try to stop them, like I am going to go nuts. And every doctor who has said 'don't quit', well they say - 'I never say don't quit - BUT...... don't quit' Yikes!

I will absolutely work on my diaphragmic breathing (although I have been doing that for years and I still don't have it yet). I will see if my vape works still. Maybe give it a go. I can do just about anything, like I said, but I don't want to go nuts because of these things after all the work I have done. I find it interesting that it wasn't long before my PTSD rekindling that I had quit smoking.

Thanks everyone for your support. I really appreciate it and hope that any and all of you that want to quit, can quit.

 

[joeylittle]

But it scares me to think that these freaking cigarettes make me feel, when I try to stop them, like I am going to go nuts

The chemicals alone are highly, highly addictive. And the nicotine is directly related to cognition, specifically reasoning, problem-solving, logic. So...all the things that one needs in order to combat intrusive thoughts, distortions, etc.

None of what you describe sounds undoable - you just need to do it in steps and be prepared for some really bad days, same as any strong addiction and dependency.

 

[Fiadh]

Something to consider is that quitting smoking whilst taking psychotropic medications can effect the medication levels in your blood- so might mean your GP might need to consider adjusting your dose. It's not the nicotine that effects the medications either, its all the other chemicals in the cigarettes. I've found a link to a sheet which might explain it a bit better- but not sure whether you can put it up on here?

 

[alis]

I'm a smoker too. Sometimes a smoke after a panic attack is the only thing that will get my breathing going again.

I've heard of these herbal cigarettes that don't have nicotine in them (I haven't actually tried them yet) and you order them online and apparently they're really healthy for you. They somehow help people with asthma and other stuff like that.

Best of luck to you.