General Rant and complain thread open to all supporters

[Never_falter2]

Not sure if it belongs about the thread about the NZ shooting but the world has gone so crazy. Several terrorist bombings and a terrorist shooting in Afghanistan, a terrorist attack in Utrecht, one near Milano where a bus driver threatened to burn 51 children and already (this one shocks me most as a mother, in the other cases children where affected too but he aimed at only children) and one in Mali where over 130 people where killed. 11 terrorist plotting to kill as many as possible have been caught in my native country... and all in one week and thats just the terrorist attacks I heard of from the news and I do not follow the news so closely.
Also I heard from the news that according to Estonian sources my country is one most at risk of terrorist attacks (I am not sure if they wanted to say “One of the developed country most at risk of terrorist attacks“ or one of the countries most at risk of terrorist attacks world wide?, actually cannot believe it would be world wide and hope it is not).
Vet is scared a lot of terrorist attacks and we discussed this topic a lot in the past but not so much this time. We talked about it but not so much. I feel very upset about the news but do not want to burden him with this.

 

[Freida]

I did the terrorism thing back in the day and ya -- it hits home hard when it ramps up. I've stopped watching the news because it is just to much of a trigger and I can't stand to listen to people talking about it.

It's really hard for me to live in the states with it because so many Americans fall into the "happens to other people" mindset. If you are going to die in this country it's gonna be some white guy who opens fire in the mall or your school -- but weirdly Americans don't consider that terrorism. Its just "bad stuff." Then they get on their high horses and get all blah blah blah about extremists in other countries and how it needs to be handled "there" and go on and on about how it can't happen here if we just ban everyone from coming here and blah blah blah.

I think not talking with him unless he wants to is a good thing. I had a really hard time when hubby and I were in Germany a couple years ago because I had been in so many terroristy things while I lived there that my hypervigialnce was out of control. And if he tried to talk about it I bit his head off over and over until he shut up. This might be a place where talking here or with a non military friend would be a better idea.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I did the terrorism thing back in the day and ya -- it hits home hard when it ramps up. I've stopped watching the news because it is just to much of a trigger and I can't stand to listen to people talking about it.

I do as well. Not a war vet but it still triggers me. I guess the fear is simular in that way. Stopped watching or reading any news for the same reasons.

If you are going to die in this country it's gonna be some white guy who opens fire in the mall or your school -- but weirdly Americans don't consider that terrorism. Its just "bad stuff."

Yes, yes, yes, yes, YES!

Terrorism is terrorism is terrorism. It doesn't matter who does it or where it happens in my personal opinion!

 

[LuckiLee]

Everything he says and does is on my last nerve today! I can be crabby just like you ffs. Don't "take it personally". Like I do the other 364 days a year.

 

[Freida]

Everything he says and does is on my last nerve today! I can be crabby just like you ffs. Don't "take it personally". Like I do the other 364 days a year.

Thats kinda nice to know! :laugh:

 

[LuckiLee]

Omg @Freida! He was driving me crazy! I've said before how he is an emotional sponge.... If I'm pissy? He's pissier. If I'm tired he's more tired. If I'm mad?...

I wasn't in the best of moods yesterday so he had to get crabby too. I just wanted to be left alone in my crabbiness. Lol

Yeah. I know. The shoe is on the other foot. ?

 

[Freida]

Omg @Freida! He was driving me crazy! I've said before how he is an emotional sponge.... If I'm pissy? He's pissier. If I'm tired he's more tired. If I'm mad?...

I wasn't in the best of moods yesterday so he had to get crabby too. I just wanted to be left alone in my crabbiness. Lol

Yeah. I know. The shoe is on the other foot. ?

I'm sorry .... laughing my ass off...but very sorry hes being an ass. One of those "when you are both calm" things to discuss. If you are being cranky he has to let you have your moments without him being an ass. LOL Tell him Freida has spoken!

 

[G.P.]

well, I'm tired. And a little bit afraid. My PTSD sufferer used to be on medication, I kinda think he should be again. Its the paranoia and suspicions, accusations, irrational thinking, defensiveness, well, you get the picture. I'm rather unnerved by it all. Married 3 years, and I regret it already. And by the way, I didn't know it had a name... but the emotional spounge thing is real and exhausting!

 

[LuckiLee]

@G.P. you say you're "a little bit afraid". Are you safe?

 

[G.P.]

Hello LuckiLee,
Um, that's not totally a simple question. I am not in immediate danger if that's what you mean. But, married only 3 years and I am very surprised at some of his behavior as it has happened. I do think his restraint is lessening and he is getting more expressive with his anger as time goes on...………… so things I thought he would never do, he has done.... so I am not feeling like I know where his restraint lies anymore.

 

[Never_falter2]

Sorry that I don’t have much time to answer lately. I hope I have more time soon. However: happy Easter.

 

[LovingH]

I definitely would like to vent today.

I've moved from the "grieving" part of dealing with my breakup to "anger." I think I hit bottom with my grief yesterday. I was somewhat dissociative. Just really out of it..walking around in a fog. I forced myself to go out to dinner with friends. During the dinner, I showed one of my friends my ex's last IM conversation with me, and my friend was actually saying I should be glad he's gone. Both of my friends were totally puzzled by a lot of the things he said and felt like they seemed like they weren't really directed at me. I just needed an objective opinion on his comments because I found them so confusing.

Everything just became a giant mess. I am still hurt that I became a giant walking trigger and despite being in therapy, he could not get past that. I feel like a lot of what he said in our last IM was therapist talk, and either his therapist made judgments about me without even getting the full picture, or he was repeating stuff his therapist said about HIM and got it all garbled. I don't know. I've seen in other people's posts on here that often supporters get accused of being 'manipulative'. And that things often fall apart after a 6-month "honeymoon" period, and that's exactly when my ex got all cold and distant because he was allegedly afraid to tell me the problems he had with me, and he's been like a different person ever since then, giving me mixed messages, projecting his ex's behavior onto me, and seeming to be heavily triggered.

One of the reasons I've been so sad is he said "since we are no longer in a relationship, I don't 'owe' you a deep explanation for my behavior'...which made me feel like, he couldn't care less about my feelings. He can just turn any concern for me off because we're not in a relationship anymore.

I don't like that there's animosity btwn my ex and I, but even if I waited, and gave him a lot of space and time..I'll be honest that I have NO clue what to even say to him to bridge the divide, to try to make peace. I don't know how to deal with someone who impugns motives on me, that have nothing to do with me. Or thinks my motivation is to be manipulative :(