Reality Check Please

[mamachick]

I have a friend that told me of 2 of her male friends that went to a family nudist resort for the weekend and asked her if she would like to join. When she told me this, I was appalled. When she saw my reaction, she said she did not know if it was family or not. I told her that there was something wrong with these two guys if they were weekend guests at a family nudist resort. Obviously, it tainted my opinion of them-but I just dropped it, as they did not tell me this or I would have asked questions and confronted it.

Anyway, this friend has brought it up several times since and says that I am perverted for thinking that they are pedophile. I never said I thought that. I just think that two educated men, (who are also police officers) should clearly know better, and why would they find a need to partake in such a thing. Neither one of these men are married and never have been, both in their 40's, and one has been awarded with "big brother of the year".

I know that there are some naturalist and this is not meant to be an acquisation, but this information has always made me feel uncomfortable. Recently during a discussion, this friend accused me of over-reacting about this. She has even said that I am evil for thinking things like this.

With everything I know about abuse, I do not know what parent would expose their naked children to a bunch of grown ups. I also know that I am not trusting and my thoughts are skewed at times. Please offer opinions. If my thinking is that off base, I want to know. I know this is a bit off the normal topic but I did not know where else to post.

 

[Sazza]

Hi brat,

A bit like you I don't like the whole idea of nudism but know there are alot if everyday people who like naturalism. I have never seen the interest in it. However way I see it is if that what floats peoples boat that's there choice. As for exposing kids to it I
Don't agree with that, however saying that if kids have family who are into it then maybe that's there way of making kids feel
Comfortable and to grow up not thinking it's odd. Not sure if that makes sense but if kids are brought up around different people and experiences it may allow them to realise things are acceptable if it's a path they want to take. However it could also have opposite affect and cause issues later down the line.

These are just thoughts I don't agree with kids being exposed to nudism. Think That Its something that you should be at age where can make decision for yourself before being exposed. I think cause some of our experiences as PTSD sufferers that we may be more sensitive to Thoughts on This, however prior to PTSD my opinion would Been same. People should be free do as wish as long as not hurting others or subjecting kids to things which could later impact on There life. Kids are vulnerable and expect patents to make right decisions for them and protect them ti they are old enough to do so themselves.

Sazza

 

[Srain]

In this day and age with all the stories coming out on offical conduct, what are 2 single police officers doing going to a "nudist colony"? I think it would be in their best interest calling in a reality check. Photos pop up on Facebook at lighting speed and with jobs in short supply everything done, even socially, comes into question. One officer is a Big Brother?? Background checks are everything, I think he should be very concerned about his after work hour behaviour, as a mother of that child, I would think she might be very concerned, personally. I'm no prude but I can't imagine that these two are thinking of a lifestyle change or are they?

I think you had some valid questions. I knew a woman who was a Nudist years ago and although I had no problem with that being her choice, I had nothing in common with her, as you said, she was along the lines of a Naturalist and it was more a weekend thing. They met on weekends in a remote area without child. Whatever is fine. I was concerned about children being involved then and I'm concerned now. I don't think your concern about 2 strange men showing up around out of nowhere, police or not, and being around children naked. I don't understand that and I see a big problem with it.

I think your reaction is perfectly on target however, what I don't understand is your friend's reaction. Even if she didn't agree with you, pressuring you to do something you didn't want to do and calling your thinking "perverted" ? I'm not sure if she has kept up on the news lately but more and more it's finally being reported the amount of child abuse cases there really are. That alone should raise flags.

Just my opinion

 

[kimberley dawn]

I'll think of a way to take this up with a aquaintance of mine. Her husband comes from a "hippy-type" family and nudism has always been natural to him. I know they vacate every summer at this naturalist resort but I can't remember if the kids joined them?
I'm a bit mixed about the hole matter. Would like natural things to be less shameful but do not want any more threats to all the kids out there. So I wonder; many of them naturalists KNOW of those pedophiles, - one would think they were even more alert at resorts like that? As to not letting anything get bad, compared to "normals" that find it strange not to trust ones neighbour or cousin...... That's where most threats are..

I'll have a word with E and her husband, but my mind is twisting this around her now.

But Noone should be called anything like your friend called you, just for being careful! (can't spell cautious..?)

(back to work here...)

 

[Sterre]

Huh? I dont understand?

Is this a topic about childeren and nudity? About how it is not safe to expose childeren to nudity from grown ups?

As a mother of a little girl, I shower and walk nude ( when I get dressed in the morning) around my daughter,a nd so is she.
What is so horrible about that?
I want my child to feel comforatble in her skin and in her body. In the summer we go swimming and there a lots and lots of naked young childeren and topless woman sun bathing where we swim.
O my god, there are even man that are swimming and sunbathing there ;)

Not every man is a sexual child molester, not every nudist or naturalist is a child molester. Not even every naked policeofficer is a child molester.

I really dont see the problem that is raised here?

I think it does more harm to be neurotic about nudity toward childeren that to be free and accepting toward nudity.
Nudity does not equal sex in any way!

I teach my girl about bounderies, and that she is in control over her body, and no one else , not even me, is the boss over her body.I teach her that when she doesnt want to be touched or cuddled or kissed by somebody ( aunts, uncles, friends an family) that she doesn not have to get cuddled or kissed, she can say no and does not need to explain or defend this. It is her body and she has every right to say no.
That is hw i try to precent her from getting sexualy abused or molested , thats how I teach her to not become a victim of a predator or something kike that.
I dont teach her that nudity is wrong, or that seeing grown ups in the nude is wrong or dangerous.I teach her that doing something against her will is wrong, and that she has every right to express nd say no when she does not want to cuddle or hug someone, even if the one that wants to cuddle her is a family member or a good friend.

I often visit a sauna, it is a very good way to relax. In my county they have mixed sauna's and family days for sauna's. There is nothing sexual about going to a sauna.

Clearly, I dont understand this topic.

 

[Sazza]

Sterre when I replied I thought about the point you raise most parents will be nude in Front of there kids and It's all part of growing up and like you said feeling comfortable in own Skin as they grow up. I am Not sure but think the post was about kids at nudist event that kind how I relied but my memory crap so may got it all wrong, maybe brat can Clarify.

 

[Srain]

Sterre, you have a good point, cultures are different. I am reactive, I'll admit, and different countries have different views.

You made some good points, I would say though, if I'm uncomfortable with it then there is nothing wrong with my view about it, that's where I'm at. I have been to a Nude Beach. It was not comfortable for me and that was ME. I have my own issues and you are perfectly correct about nudity not equally sex.

Thank you for posting your view,
Rain

 

[Lionheart]

In the past , I have been to pagan gatherings where there is ritual nudity, but it's confined to a certain time and place away from children. I don't think there is anything wrong with adult nudity, but I don't think it is ok to expose children who are under age. I think three is a time and place for nudity and children should not be taught that their bodies are "bad" or "evil". Being taught that nudity is natural is one thing, exposing underage children to adult nudity is another. Sexual exposure can be a form of abuse, but I think it is the intent of the exposure that makes it positive or negative....just my thoughts.

 

[Sterre]

... I would say though, if I'm uncomfortable with it then there is nothing wrong with my view about it, that's where I'm at. I have been to a Nude Beach. It was not comfortable for me and that was ME. I have my own issues and you are perfectly correct about nudity not equally sex.
Rain

Off course there is nothing wrong with having your own view or feelings of being on a nudist beach as not being comfortable.
What I respond to is the fact that I think it is not okay to project any personal fears upon childeren, for it creates fears in childeren that may interfear with a healty and age appropriate development.
Childeren are innocent, untill a certain age childeren do not think about sex as we grown ups do, and thats perfectly healty. It can become unhealty to force or project a mature view or fear about sexuality upon childeren.

In my opinion that is what happends when you firmly believe that childeren should not be confronted with mature nudity or with nudity at all, no matter the setting. ( as in nudity beach, sauna, home ) because we as fearfull adults, see nudity as something purely sexual.

Nudity and sexuality gets mixed up here, while they are two complete different things. When you project this view upon a child they will mix up these two things.
Nudity has nothing to do with sex! Going to a nudist beach, wheter you feel comfortable of uncomfortable about it, is not the same as being a child molester or being sexually perverted.

 

[mamachick]

Im not self conscious of nudity. In my house, sure my kids grew up and thought nothing of barging in the bathroom at any given moment. But I also know that having daughters, at some point they became conscious and wanted privacy. I do think thats our culture and maybe nudists do have a healthier attitude. However, when I think that without any influence from me, daughters, around age 12, wanted to go into fitting room alone (they are all different) without mom, covered up more coming from shower, etc.-then what would it be like for them to be exposed to this sort of life, strangers swimming and playing volleyball nude, and these teens being nude as well? So one concern is, how do they (the children) feel about it, and if they are raised this way and appear comfortable, are they going to regret at some time or feel shame about it? Is this respectful to children?

I do not consider myself uptight about nudity, although Im not totally comfortable either. I agree that our culture is very imbedded here. There is not a shot in hell that I would let my daughters run around grown men. Now the naturalists distinquish between nudity and sex, but Im sorry, I have seen the way men look at teenage girls in their cute little outfits. Men are more visual, Im just afraid it might enhance their already visual sensations. That does not just apply to females, some may be turned on by small boys-Whatever their, preference.

Lastly, I feel like I am fairly open minded and dont have a huge concern for what others think, however, this is where I would draw the line. These 2 men, one does not date women, and the other does occassionally. Friends have thought they are gay. I have many gay friends and that is not the issue. I understand the secrecy because I do not think other cops would be real understanding in this area where I live, likely would not be well received. The latter is also a counselor that works in a middle school. If you work in insurance, are an attorney, etc, it is one thing, but if you work directly with children, I think it is a really bad idea, for no other reason than your job. Rain said what I was thinking.

As I am writing this, I realize that it has nothing to do with nudity. I have many friends who have visited clothing optional resorts and I have no judgement. I would consider going to a nude beach given the opportunity, adults only beach.
Sterre, you do raise good points. It may be a healthier attitude in your country. It just feels weird as it is not part of this culture, or not the norm.

Anyway, I just told my friend (school counselor) that I hoped she did not go, and she didnt, but she really thought my response was disturbed.

 

[Jenny-begins.....]

Do these men have children of their own that they would be taking here, or are they going to a family resort just as two adult men? If so, aren't there adult only nudist resorts? I'm not sure if I missed something.....

 

[Jenny-begins.....]

Also, having been to a nudist beach, I know that clothing is optional and anyone can choose to be dressed if they like. My only issue is if these people choose a family resort over an adult only resort if they have no children.
Nudity is beautiful when there are no perversions attached to it. But it is very unfortunate that far too many of us know from our experiences that perversion is out there.