Really Bad Episode

[kmm]

I've had a really, really long week and some VERY intense symptoms following a session of exposure therapy.....

It was really bad. I had a terrible flashback - the works - visual, physical, cognitive - panic attack..... I couldn't bring myself back from it - totally dissociated - none of the grounding worked....the therapist ended up having to drive me home......

All night- flashbacks & panic attacks.....

the next day, I totally forced myself to just exercise my body for like 3 hours....that combined with a massage did help but I still had all of the physical re-living of the trauma, plus loads of dissociating.....

Yesterday - panic - it built throughout the day. The grounding was not successful - it took every ounce of energy just to continue functioning......ended up calling therapist in the middle of the day yesterday......

Today I met with therapist again - lots more exercise today - still panic - though thankfully not as severe........

Haven't slept much to speak of - not eating - stomach knotted & churning....the ONLY way I have continued making it through the days has been to exercise to sheer exhaustion.....

finally broke down & said I would see someone about medication. This is huge for me.......both of my traumas are at the hands of medical "professionals". After this week, I know I need some additional help to get through this & therapist doesn't want to go forward until I've seen someone about medication anyway......

I'm in total shock! everything that has happened this week has completely blindsided me......This is the first time I have even been together enough to post.......tonight I am just sooooo exhausted.............thankfully I am doing better and I am together enough to post.........I am also feeling a bit scared......This has all been a lot for me to deal with............

 

[2quilt]

Can you take someone you trust to the doctor appts?
I do better when I take something to help me sleep, like Benadryl or Compezine for the nausea.
Keep us updated on how you are doing.

 

[kers]

It sounds like you're struggling with a really bad time right now, I'm sorry for that. Although exposure therapy can be tremendously helpful, if you decompensate with it, the work can't be done. So I'm glad your therapist is stopping until you are more stabilized. Medication can be really helpful in giving a stable base from which you can work. Once you are getting sufficient sleep, the other symptoms may be less out of control.

I know it's hard to go on medication, but it was a brave choice.

 

[Ymozzy]

don't give up. these are the words, I keep trying to hold onto. words given to me in a tight embrace with my therapist. shocking to have someone with a moment of care. i do understand your moment to moment hysterical intoxication enduring the flashback. i am emmersed in this tonight as well. i had a therapy program that somewhat prepared me for this type of experience. it is called dialectical behavior therapy. this therapy teaches tools for tolerance, to help when therapy does not seem enough. one helpful tip is to dunk your head in a sink of ice water. this invokes the diver's reflex which lowers the heart beat and shifts the mind away. when i am in extreme dysregulation, dunking every ten minutes seems to do the trick. hold your head under just enough for a breathe. thank you for sharing as i feel less alone tonight as i too deal with the unwanted emotions and images of past.

 

[catjudo]

...i had a therapy program that somewhat prepared me for this type of experience. it is called dialectical behavior therapy. this therapy teaches tools for tolerance, to help when therapy does not seem enough...

DBT has been recommended to me before but I've had trouble finding anyone with any first-hand experience. Would you mind sharing some of what this was like and what you got out of it? TIA.

 

[kmm]

Can you take someone you trust to the doctor appts?
- My Therapist Has Actually Offered To Come with me - my husband said he would come also......

- I am doing some better - though still lots of anxiety. I am having to work really hard to make it through the day still.......needing to do a minimum of 3 hours of high intensity exercise to experience any calm.....makes it hard, when I often have many other things I have to do......

Thank you for your thoughts and for your concern.....

 

[kmm]

i had a therapy program that somewhat prepared me for this type of experience. it is called dialectical behavior therapy. this therapy teaches tools for tolerance, to help when therapy does not seem enough. one helpful tip is to dunk your head in a sink of ice water.

- thank you so much - I hope that things have eased for you and that you have had some respite from the symptoms!
.......do you have any other things that have been helpful for you? I have found that, so far, massage & extreme levels of exercise are about all that are working......hit a bit of a roadblock with trying to get an appointment scheduled to see about medication - I would love anything else that you know of that works in the meantime.....

 

[ga yankee]

I see 2 drs that specialize in DBT and something called psychomotor therapy. both are about getting in touch with your body and how it reacts to your thoughts. it's taken me 6 months to really start feeling a difference but it has been so helpful. i am still no where near the level the other members of the group with touching, eye contact and even closing my eyes during meditation. yes, it is extremely difficult to find people that specialize in these areas but the 80 mile drive for me is totally worth it.