Really Bad Flashback.

[Healing Reins]

I've been watching the movie spiderman and something triggered a flashback. I think it was the shooting. anyway. the flashback is of my school shooting, and what happened when I was six...I was shot when I was six in a drive by shooting in Indonesia.... I'm scared of guns. I don't know why I thought I could watch spiderman with out there being any issues. Because now I can't stop thinking of either shootings. i'm scared. how do i stop this? Thoughts are like racing through my mind. This probably isn't making any sense. It feels like its happening again. the shooting, everything surrounding both the school shooting and the ambush. they are both so real sorry if my thoughts aren't making any sense

 

[ghotiff]

Do you have grounding skills you can use to help you connect with the present? Feeling your feet on the ground, looking at the colour of the wall, smelling something strong (coffee, mint), hearing the noises around you, touching something and noticing the texture.

My only other suggestion is.... would it help to relax and try not to fight the thoughts. Allow your racing thoughts to race around and try to watch them like an observer. Eg, I can see my thoughts race, its okay, I know I am safe at the moment, its okay to feel scared and I know I am physically safe.

Apparently its important to not fight and deny your feelings, but to acknowledge both states, I am scared and I am safe (notice its 'and' not 'but').

Hope that helps.

PS, Don't beat yourself up because you wanted to watch a movie, it is a reasonable thing to want to watch a popular movie.

 

[Healing Reins]

@ghotiff I don't get how it can feel so real, and not be real. I don't get why my body does this to me. I watch a movie and I have a flashback, like a really bad one too. I think I'm grounded now, but I'm not sure. I feel like the smallest thing will set me off. how long does it take you when you don't fight the thoughts? does it take longer compared to if you were going to fight the thoughts? It's really scary just watching them, and waiting for them to stop.

 

[ghotiff]

I've always had emotional flashbacks (but didn't know what they were called until very recently) so I've never questioned 'why' it just is what it is. Fighting it definitely makes it worse and last longer for me. But, I completely understand that sometimes they are too strong and I can't stop myself fighting it.

There is a book "The body remembers" which was non-triggering for me and really helpful for me to understand what was happening. Maybe it would explain some things for you.

Once I've been triggered, I can ground relatively quickly...but the residue of that triggering lasts a while. My favourite suggestion (from someone here on this forum) was to treat it like the flu. So when I've had a bad one, I go to bed and treat myself as I would if I had a really bad flu.

It's really scary just watching them, and waiting for them to stop

To watch them and be less scared of them.... It helps me to watch them with the viewpoint that I would have to write an essay on them later, that I would have to write every detail of what I saw and every body sensation that I had, in painstaking detail. So I say it in my head, eg my chest feel like there is a weight on it, not an elephant... maybe the weight of a cat...no more like a brick etc. This helps me detach from being 'in' the moment, to 'watching' the moment.

Hope that helps.

 

[Healing Reins]

@ghotiff It's really scary it comes in waves, like I'll be okay for a minute, and then I'll be in a flashback. it's really weird...is that normal?

 

[ghotiff]

I don't get these type of flashbacks, but others here I think have.

Have you also tried distraction. Eg watching an old favorite tv show while doing something, eg cleaning or zentangle. Typically both a new input, and physically doing something is necessary for it to work.

Just trying to think of things that might help.