Really Tired Of My Brother Giving A Guilt Trip

[munkinmama]

I am so triggered right now and angry. When things are not going the way my brother wants it go he writes horrible emails or texts. Often using a guilt trip to get his mission across. My dad and I have never been close in fact he is one of my abusers. He also is so focused on my brother he neglects the rest of us. I have 4 brothers and my dad only focuses on one. My dad often makes inappropriate comments towards me and when I confront him on it he goes off on a rant about how he can not joke. I mean how is saying you want to have a community shower with your daughter and your son's girlfriend a joke?. Well got yet another email from him which has set me off. He refuses to take blames for anything he does and will not forgive the past Here is the bs email

Family,


I know that our father can be hard to deal with but he is our and deserves respect. The poking fun is taking it too far, dad will never say anything but i know it hurts him. What I also know hurts him is that his own kids and grandkids won’t come and see him, he has to do all the effort. We have already done this once before you guys are too busy to come north which is bullshit just be honest before the old man dies you don’t want to because dad and myself have been blacklisted by mom and you guys don’t make a move without moms approval. On Oct, 2013 I sent Mom money in the amount of $430.00 and it was returned

 

[The Albatross]

When someone tries to give me a guilt trip, it is up to me to accept it. It is not nice to get an email like that.

 

[munkinmama]

I know this for selfish reasons he knows I have limitations. He knows I struggle not with my PTSD but I have mobility issues too. So to get this I do not appreciate at all. To my face he will all understand then behind my back he sends emails and texts like this

 

[The Albatross]

I would pen a response that sticks to the point calling him out on his low frustration tolerance, impulse control and, emotional reactivity. The fact is that whether or not people don't or won't visit your dad is his perception and he can keep it if he chooses, but that is not the reality and is a piss poor way of getting his point across... IF big "if" he is disappointed that family can't come to visit or attend an event.

 

[Friday]

1) I freely admit to being a terrible person

2) My response (if I deigned to send one) would probably look something like this:

Mwaaaaaaaaaaaaa Guuuuurrrrgal Mwwwwaa BRaaaaaaaains.

Much love & best wishes,
Mom-Zombies

Hmmm. Sounds a little like Mozambique. Which is where further complaints are welcome to be sent. Also where that child abusing bastard is welcome to "come visit". Snort. Complaints that we won't come up there? He's certainly not welcome to come down here.

 

[KwanYingirl]

@munkinmama my parents worshipped the ground my brother walked on. Us girls were servants, my brothers had no chores because they were busy with activities and private lessons.

The other siblings have such fun putting me down and continuing the abuse they always have. I don't speak to them because they refuse to apologize.

Then my mother in denial blames me for alienating my siblings. Never a helpful comment or better yet, she should demand they treat me with respect.

These things happen to a trauma based home. I don't accept calls or emails. They are huge part of the problem-keeping the battering going

Families are sometimes beyond dysfunctional.

 

[scout86]

I freely admit to having a "bad attitude".

I'd ignore the email, your dad, AND your brother..

Families are sometimes beyond dysfunctional.

This is SO true! Some things you just aren't going to change. Chances are your brother and your dad are among their number. You have bigger fish to fry. I'd just drive on and forget it.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

uhm, is your dad a narcissist? is your brother following in his footsteps?

It is SCARY how much this is like my family! Only replace your brother with my mom, and same scenario pretty much. Patriarchal figure who scares everyone away, golden child who sees no wrong and thinks everyone should put up with his crap. Well, similar up until the mom part....

RUN!