Justmehere
Sponsor
I’ve been trying to deal with trauma related to one family member for a long time. It has been difficult because for years, I feel nothing about this trauma or person and I avoid it like the plague.
I started to work with it, some of the pain and anger came back in the session.
After the session, I kept thinking about a legitimately happy experince with the abuser. I’ve almost been obsessing over it for a week. I feel giddy and relaxed thinking of it. They are as real as the trauma.
This is someone who has been very hurtful to me, has committed attempted murder against me when I was a teen... and this is what I’m recalling? The happy times?
I can’t seem to even think if the horrible times. When I start to go there, my anxiety spikes through the roof. But I seem to easily be able to go to the happy memories. I can’t help but think this is some kind of weird defense mechanism, a form of denial and a lack of having this trauma integrated. Triggers related to this trauma have been stronger, so the negative impact of the trauma is still there. Yet what I’m thinking about are the happy times.
This has never happened to before. It seems to be the opposite of how this all typically works for me when working through trauma.
Has this happened to anyone else?
I started to work with it, some of the pain and anger came back in the session.
After the session, I kept thinking about a legitimately happy experince with the abuser. I’ve almost been obsessing over it for a week. I feel giddy and relaxed thinking of it. They are as real as the trauma.
This is someone who has been very hurtful to me, has committed attempted murder against me when I was a teen... and this is what I’m recalling? The happy times?
I can’t seem to even think if the horrible times. When I start to go there, my anxiety spikes through the roof. But I seem to easily be able to go to the happy memories. I can’t help but think this is some kind of weird defense mechanism, a form of denial and a lack of having this trauma integrated. Triggers related to this trauma have been stronger, so the negative impact of the trauma is still there. Yet what I’m thinking about are the happy times.
This has never happened to before. It seems to be the opposite of how this all typically works for me when working through trauma.
Has this happened to anyone else?
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