WithinTheStars15
New Here
Hi everyone, I am fifteen years old and I was recently diagnosed with PTSD. I just discovered that I have it much longer than I thought. I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder and anxiety almost a year ago but for some reasons, the diagnosis of PTSD really devastated me. I feel like as if I am not meant to be happy. I've been doing really well for the last two months so the diagnosis really have been bringing me down lately. I found this website and signed up for it so I can try to face what I fear the most and to find others that may have went through similar experiences as I did.
Growing up, I did not have a happy childhood. You know how people says that they wish that they can go back to being kids? I don't. I most definitely don't. My childhood were full of misery and pain. I experienced short term sexual abuse at a young age. Years later, I still can't talk about it. This is the first time that I have decided to talk about it. Because of what I went through, I can't read or watch movies about rape. It's too painful for me. I also went through constant physical and mental abuse for approximately 10 years. My parents were alcoholics and often poured their anger on my sibilings and I. My father is still an alcoholic so the memories really get triggered when I visit him. I live with my mom, who is now completely sober, and I'm really grateful for that.
I want to try to talk more about the sexual abuse experience I went through. I have been told that it will help me to overcome my fears. I often try to write out my feelings as I love to write and read. I write poetry and stories. I figured that I could try taking baby steps by talking about it through writing. I don't like to say that I have been raped or that I am a victim. I know I am a survivor but I don't like labels. What happened to me doesn't define who I am. Thank you for reading my story, please feel free to post any opinions of how I can try to manage the negative memories or anything that could help. :)
-WithinTheStars15
Growing up, I did not have a happy childhood. You know how people says that they wish that they can go back to being kids? I don't. I most definitely don't. My childhood were full of misery and pain. I experienced short term sexual abuse at a young age. Years later, I still can't talk about it. This is the first time that I have decided to talk about it. Because of what I went through, I can't read or watch movies about rape. It's too painful for me. I also went through constant physical and mental abuse for approximately 10 years. My parents were alcoholics and often poured their anger on my sibilings and I. My father is still an alcoholic so the memories really get triggered when I visit him. I live with my mom, who is now completely sober, and I'm really grateful for that.
I want to try to talk more about the sexual abuse experience I went through. I have been told that it will help me to overcome my fears. I often try to write out my feelings as I love to write and read. I write poetry and stories. I figured that I could try taking baby steps by talking about it through writing. I don't like to say that I have been raped or that I am a victim. I know I am a survivor but I don't like labels. What happened to me doesn't define who I am. Thank you for reading my story, please feel free to post any opinions of how I can try to manage the negative memories or anything that could help. :)
-WithinTheStars15
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