Sexual Assault Recently Saw My Abuser

[breathing1]

It's been almost two years since my abuser sexually assaulted me. A few days ago, I passed him on the street. He didn't see me. I went into a pretty immediate panic attack, calmed down, and badly faked my way through a friends birthday dinner before bailing.

Since the sighting, I feel like I've been similar to the way I was after the attack. As soon as I'm not busy, I'm SO SO anxious, I feel like I'm on the verge of a panic attack. I'm crying all the time for no reason. I feel like I'm going to see him at any moment and that if I see him again, I just might die. (Which is the anxiety talking, logically I know won't..)

I don't know how to get through this, or how long this will last. Before the sighting, I had been thinking seriously about outing my abuser publicly. My boyfriend and some of my friends know what happened to me and his name, but sometimes I'm so angry I just want to scream it from the rooftops and the modern version of that is facebook. I never took pictures of my bruises, I never went to the police, I don't have any proof. And even though I know my friends and (hopefully) most of the greater world won't try to prove me wrong, I also don't want to have to defend myself.

What have been your experiences? Have you seen your abuser again after time has passed? How did you react? How did you feel afterwords? What self care do you recommend?
What are your experiences in outing your abuser? Did it make you feel any better? Do you wish you hadn't done it? Do you want to?

I don't know what to do. I feel lost and depressed, like I'm barely holding on. I just keep going and going and going and I'm worried I'm going to just not be able to start one day.

 

[claire east]

I

It's been almost two years since my abuser sexually assaulted me. A few days ago, I passed him on the...

was raped from the aged of 11 to aged of 13 when I was 18 I saw my abuser on the way to work he tried to drag me into his car I went to work distraught I had to come home it brought it all back I couldn't breath I was crying after that I blocked it out until 2009 a routine opp went wrong leaving me in agony for 3 years and I ended up with ptsd and I have flashbacks everynight I cry all the time I think your experiencing the truma over in your mind and I can last as long as your ready to deal with it go to your doc to get some counselling and only report him if you feel ready because reporting someone can be very traumatic and you might not get anywhere with it like me I went throu the police process and she dineied she knew me or she didn't know her uncle name so do what you feels right for you if ya need to messeage me your wellcome to

 

[Heather]

I feel for you.....After my brother-in-law sexually assaulted me. I saw him months later in a parking lot, it was for less than 4 seconds. I froze, felt sick to my stomach and wanted to cry.

After that I spiraled (badly) it took months to recover.

I did out him. I went to the cops after it happened and then my sister found out and she doesn't believe me. She know longer allows me to see my niece or nephew and my daughter has grown up without her cousins (whom she was very close to). It's been painful. And there are times I wish I hadn't gone to the cops.

But what was the alternative? Say nothing? Do nothing? The consequences have been steep but I don't REGRET going to the cops. He needed to be outed.

He's a f*cking a$$, nasty piece of sh*t.

 

[claire east]

I think you did the right thing for your own piece of mind you've been so brave to report it that takes a lot of courage which you have inside it dosent matter you wasn't believed but only you know what he did and you spoke out well done that's part of the healing process when we speak out as it plants the seed in other people's minds I hope this helps you