Rejection and abandonment is a big trigger for those of us with Complex PTSD. I am socially normal at work, outgoing and not shy. But in my private life, I can be a hermit and quiet. In my church activities (i'll call them church because they are spiritual people and elders I associate with because I contemplated ordination as a yogini 6 years ago) I have received ALOT of rejection because I'm quiet and people misunderstand what I am, they make judgements off not knowing me and assumption. It hurts. It's inhumane and when religous people do that, it's worse because its hipocracy. The clergy who should have tolerance and compassion I have found, have the least. Especially in the New Age which I am around alot of newagers. "take responsibility for your karma!" is their main excuse for not having compassion and it's highly narccissistic and rampant in affirmative churches. So, it gives them the excuse to reject. Really, I have learned to not get intimate with anyone who calls himself spiritual. I have fallen into that pit and get re-traumatized each time by their higher-than-mighty attitude when they trigger me. It's sad when you can't go to church for sustenance because most are hipporates. I no longer go to church because it's just rediculous and I don't need to be rejected anymore by spiritual people.
There is one good book, "The Four Agreements". It helps me with PTSD on a surface level so it's a good coping mechanism, but for us, our brains have new ways of dealing with stressors that others don't have so the book only goes so far. I've done ALOT of alternative healing modalities and 10 years of therapy, but when the trigger hits, it hits.
When I tell men I date of what happens they think I should have mind over matter when I'm writhing in emotional pain. When they have that attitude it's like they are torturing me on purpose and saying in the same gesture "that shouldn't hurt!" Human cruelty - in my experience, has come more from religious poople than anyone.
