Rejection

[EveHarrington]

Sadly rejection is a part of life for everyone. :(

I believe in standing up for ourselves but in your case, I'd say why bother? I wouldn't care about some catty woman. I think you're better off not having in your life because you now know her true colors.

 

[StarChild]

Can you call this person and ask if maybe she's upset with you? And then if so work it out?

Ouch! That would really hurt! It would be great if you could talk to her and ask what's going on

If the situation would be different, I would very hesitantly say, "yes, go and try this". But since the face of affairs is a rather nasty one, I'd say, don't go and let this immature woman hurt you even more @SheilaKathy. Because immature she is, that's for sure! Maturity has absolutely nothing to do with age, as she's demonstrated so strikingly!:mad: - No, please don't do that; Don't go and feed her snootiness even more, in an attempt to "work through that situation". Don't allow her, to hurt your feelings again.

It is one of those situations where you were her target and it was catching you off guard and when that happens to me it feels awful and I freeze up.

Unfortunately, such sh*tty behavior is quite the least, one expects while with "friends". And yes, I most likely would have frozen up as well. But sometimes, our reactions also depend on our current mood and state of mind on a particular day. So, I'd respectfully like to suggest, to take the following advice of @gizmo to heart:

I would just stay away from her and I would look carefully at the other friends you were with. Because they were not there for you at all in my opinion.

I know how absolute loneliness feels and how deep it hurts. But nonetheless, you're worth so much more than such unsteady "friends" who don't stand beside you. I'm sorry that you've been hurt and humiliated so deeply. But on the other hand, I've come to know you a bit, and I do have faith in you, that in future, you're more than able, to handle such people with elegance.:whistling: Sending a gentle bunch of comforting hugs your way, dear Sheila. :hug::hug::hug:

 

[Changing4Best]

Thanks for all the replies, my friends. You know, one thing that I didn't notice when this occurred was that the catty woman did not SIT DOWN at our table, but just stood there talking with the other three women. Then she left. I did not take notice of who she sat with, but you see, the table I sit at is a table that has all women at it usually. (I don't like to sit at that fellowship dinner with men, so I like to sit at that able and it has 8 seats at it). There is another table which usually has just men at it. Once in awhile there is a man that sits at our ladies' table with us, but he is a gentle fellow, and I don't mind sitting near him. Our ladies table usually does not have this catty woman sitting at it. In fact, I don't ever recall seeing her at that weekly dinner, which I almost always attend and which the other three women at that table usually attend too.

As to none of the three of them sticking up for me, or saying anything to me while they spoke with her, that is interesting too. They all gave her their undivided attention. And none of them said much of anything to me after she left either. It was one of the ladies that had not been there when this happened, a true caring friend of mine, that noticed I was kind of quiet and asked me about it. I just said (truthfully) that I had been in the hospital again that week and was not feeling my best (or words to that effect). She understood. No one else said much of anything to me the rest of the night. And I sure was not in the mood to talk! I think I was still reeling from that catty women's remark.

Anyway, thanks for helping me to pick this thing all apart. I appreciate your kind words, hugs and prayers, all of you!

 

[lostforgottensoul]

No, please don't do that; Don't go and feed her snootiness even more, in an attempt to "work through that situation". Don't allow her, to hurt your feelings again.

What if its just a simple disagreement that could be worked out? Isnt that the more mature thing to do?

Or one can feel ignored and keep feeling that way as that geeling of "she hates me, whats wrong with me" is gonna grow, for me.

And if she hurts you again, write her off but to let it fester just seems silly to me.

Just my opinion.

 

[Changing4Best]

I'm just letting it go. I did say "Hi" to her and she said "Hi" back some days after this thing happened, so I am not in a situation where she will not speak to me or seems mad at me. She probably just does not consider me a CLOSE friend whereas she does the other 3. That is the way I have decided to interpret it. That is the best I can do with it. I do have other friends, real ones, so I am not going to be hurt by this. She is not worth it!

 

[Friday]

But then we don't show our feelings or say anything when we get rejected like that, do we? We just sit there silently and suffer, or we get up quietly and walk away and suffer in silence elsewhere.

I don't tend to.

Not that my reactions might be what you would want yours to be... But maybe that's a way to approach this? How do you want to react when someone deliberately or accidentally snubs you?

 

[Nevermore]

I always think - with grace, or as much as I can muster anyway! And I think you did that SheilaKathy.