Relationship Relationship Or Not

[Grasshoppa]

just sitting here thinking what do you do, when you don't know if your in a relationship or not? When your suffer is not communicating with you? Sorry guys it's Friday and I am just missing him all over again.

 

[Ronin]

There there, that, -ish.

What do I do? As much self care as possible. Keep on cherishing & try to not let madness prevail.

 

[TheMinsterman]

Me?

I just assumed we weren't, then my ex said it wasn't what she needed right now and I continued as I was. I just assumed I wasn't and acted like I wasn't, I knew I had no interest in dating other people or anything, so I figured the label ultimately meant nothing anyway, accepting it was over and that it had no bearing on whether we eventually made up ultimately made me feel better, so much less pressure.

Accepting to yourself it's over for now doesn't mean that it's over forever, it may help you feel better.

 

[Linzee]

just sitting here thinking what do you do, when you don't know if your in a relationship or not? Whe...

@Grasshoppa you come across as such a kind, sweet, caring person. Just want to send a hug your way and let you know you are not alone. I believe in the power of positivity and getting back from the universe what you put out. I'm sure he will be back soon.

Like @TheMinsterman said I too know I don't want anyone else and told my sufferer this a while back when he was better able to cope with hearing it. He was very humbled and shy but took it well, he know's I'm serious. Said he so wants to be able to give me what I deserve and not let me down, I nearly cried. He alluded to us being exclusive by the fact we're only 'seeing' and 'wanting' each other, though we have no official title.

Personally I'm in no rush for a relationship so will be patient for the one my heart and head have chosen. Regardless of any flaw in his mental health, I refuse to right off my SO whether or not we end up together. He is a complete and highly, worthy person in my mind and I can't wait to remind him of that.

Chin up @Grasshoppa positive thinking all the way, you deserve it!

 

[Grasshoppa]

@Grasshoppa you come across as such a kind, sweet, caring person. Just want to send...

Thank you and he is the only one I want right now. Just needed to let that out

Me?

I just assumed we weren't, then my ex said it wasn't what she needed right now and I continu...

Thank for always keeping it real i needed to hear that

 

[Snowflakes]

@Grasshoppa Missing the one you love is such a rough emotion. There is nothing I could ever say to make it easier for you. I can tell you I truly understand your sadness. From a distance I'll sit beside you in silence and share your pain. I'm an inherently positive person; I'd like to think he is out there missing you also.

 

[Quiet1]

I can totally relate to all that's being said. I am new to this forum but I'm learning a lot.

The guy I really care about is holding me at arms length. I expressed to him that I need more than just texting and talking for 5 minutes at work Monday through Friday. I mentioned that I need to talk, hold hands, hug, kiss,etc He said he wants those things too but right now he can't give me anymore. He says he doesn't know why. Sometimes he says why don't we get together and hang out but he usually breaks the commitment.

He claims that he doesn't have PTSD but he has all the signs of it including anger and axiety in the workplace, inability to comit to relationships, etc. He is a veteran who dealt with casualties in Iraq.

I wish I could convince him to get help but I'm not sure how since our relationship is very delicate.

From, Quiet1

 

[Snowflakes]

@Quiet1 I see this is your first post so I do want to welcome you. We are here for you, you are not alone.

I might gently suggest you start a new thread explaining as much of your story you feel comfortable sharing and ask those specific questions that bother you. We will answer as best we can.

I am a combat veteran from a war much earlier than your veteran so I understand what he is going through. I am here as a supporter to my wife who has C-PTSD so I understand what you are going through.

Again, welcome and you are not alone. We are here with you.

 

[ArtsyYogi]

My PTSD friend is being very distant this month. Saw him at the beginning of the month and then he went more or less silent since then. He answered a couple of texts of mine on about a week after we saw each other and he sounded okay...and then literally nothing since then. My imessages have gone undelivered since a couple of days after our last text exchange. So...I'm thinking he may have blocked me. The last time in February my texts said they were undeliverable...I gave him the benefit of the doubt and dropped him a note via snail mail and asked if our phones were messed up. I also asked him point blank if he blocked me and if he did, would he reconsider and he knows where to find me when he was ready to talk. A couple of days later, I got a text from him saying his phone was messed up and that he had a new phone now after texts weren't going through. I find it hard to believe his new phone has the same issue...just saying. And...all of my texts go through to everyone else but him.

He has usually come back after distancing himself after about 10 - 14 days. This is the longest he's been quiet and I think there are some feels he felt the last time we got together that may have spooked him. I think I actually saw fear in his face when I last saw him. I'm giving him space right now...I think I will try sending him a nice "thinking of you" card at some point in a couple of more weeks. But, I have been seeing what going on between us more clearly and I have been processing things more objectively this month.

There is a silver lining on him being quiet though...I don't have him as a distraction while my business is really busy right now.

Whoops...forgot there's no edit button here. LOL Why I choose snail mail is because we aren't friends on FB....which is actually fine. And he doesn't do phone calls...I've never spoken to him on the phone.

 

[Glara]

Hey @Grasshoppa i come on here when that happens. I try to help other people and I read and re-read what sufferers say it's like for them.

I'm in the longest shut out yet and I'm not sure that he's coming back. I'm also not sure if he's wanting me to contact him. I just figured I'll leave it up to him. I'll assume we're through. Maybe it really is for the best. But I also know if he contacts me I'll be there.

So I come on here to talk about it. And then I say to myself I have to stop spending my time thinking about it and I watch a movie or read a book. There's not much more I can do.

 

[ArtsyYogi]

@Glara - You and are almost in the exact same place with the shut outs and in our head space. It's been over a month now that I have heard anything from mine. iMessages for me are still not going through and I about once a week. I think over the weekend I'm just going to send a short note/card asking if he's okay, if we're okay, and he knows where to find me if and when he's ready to talk again.

The longer the time grows since I've heard...it does get much easier to let go. I don't think he's coming back either. I'm actually okay with it...like you said, maybe it is for the best. I get sad once in a while about it...but I just keep telling myself none of this has anything to do with me. I've been going out and living my life and enjoying stuff like before I met him. I actually had a wonderful weekend this past weekend doing stuff I really love to do. I'm in a good place right now.

But, if that note does prompt him to come back...I have a bunch of new clarity now. I'm going to proceed with caution from here on out.

 

[Buttercup]

I'm at nine weeks now. It's been so hard and I go from feeling ready to move on, to feeling like i did on the first day. I live my life and keep busy for sure, but I love him and miss him.

As with you, this may be it this time for us. I have also gained a bunch of knowledge, insight and clarity over the last couple of months. I feel stronger than ever and know without a doubt I want him in my life.

I'll just wait it out and see if he comes back. I might send a card as well @ArtsyYogi in another few days or so. Not sure about that though!