Hi,
I've had symptoms of PTSD for a long time (over 30 years) mostly from 17 years of trauma as a child. I've recently moved near some relatives close to my age.
My disorder is not as acute as it used to be. What I experience now is mostly a sleep problem, startle response when approached from behind, high anxiety that I don't recognize (but it's diagnosed and observed frequently), irritability that leads to crying jags.
My relatives ask me a bit about my childhood. I guess I'm not great at explaining what was horrific. I lived in terror. I don't want to tell them about the sexual abuse. But if I mention a specific aspect of it to try to communicate what it was like, I get the "oh everybody got beaten" type of response with their tales of one of their parents beating them. Ok so it's not just being hit. It's not just growing up with an alcoholic. But for me there is a totality of circumstances that - however it happened - resulted in trauma.
I'm now told "well ok that happened when you were a kid, but now you're X years old, so it's time to be over it" or "we get together with girlfriends on a particular afternoon to have a good talk and cry, so you need to just control yourself, call a meeting, and then cry during those meetings"
So my problem is that I get startled or triggered when I'm out of my home. I can't somehow delay my response until someones schedule. I also don't know how to explain any of this to them. But mostly it seems they are just tired of experiencing me - but I realize that if I just avoid them then I'm more isolated.
Oh plus if I just prayed more and believed that Jesus could heal me it would make it all better. I have some faith but not so literal. This solution comes up a lot.
Any advice on how to deal with this situation? Do I limit my time around them and tell them i'm working on the crying and startle? I feel so disappointed and alone, yet I know people can only take so much weeping and edginess.
I've had symptoms of PTSD for a long time (over 30 years) mostly from 17 years of trauma as a child. I've recently moved near some relatives close to my age.
My disorder is not as acute as it used to be. What I experience now is mostly a sleep problem, startle response when approached from behind, high anxiety that I don't recognize (but it's diagnosed and observed frequently), irritability that leads to crying jags.
My relatives ask me a bit about my childhood. I guess I'm not great at explaining what was horrific. I lived in terror. I don't want to tell them about the sexual abuse. But if I mention a specific aspect of it to try to communicate what it was like, I get the "oh everybody got beaten" type of response with their tales of one of their parents beating them. Ok so it's not just being hit. It's not just growing up with an alcoholic. But for me there is a totality of circumstances that - however it happened - resulted in trauma.
I'm now told "well ok that happened when you were a kid, but now you're X years old, so it's time to be over it" or "we get together with girlfriends on a particular afternoon to have a good talk and cry, so you need to just control yourself, call a meeting, and then cry during those meetings"
So my problem is that I get startled or triggered when I'm out of my home. I can't somehow delay my response until someones schedule. I also don't know how to explain any of this to them. But mostly it seems they are just tired of experiencing me - but I realize that if I just avoid them then I'm more isolated.
Oh plus if I just prayed more and believed that Jesus could heal me it would make it all better. I have some faith but not so literal. This solution comes up a lot.
Any advice on how to deal with this situation? Do I limit my time around them and tell them i'm working on the crying and startle? I feel so disappointed and alone, yet I know people can only take so much weeping and edginess.
