I'm not sure if this fits in this category, but here goes. Recently my brother became so ill, that he had to move in with me and my family. It wasn't a matter of if we can do this, but rather, we have to do this and this is what we'd want if the situation were reverse.
Needless to say, adding another adult to the family means more food, more cigarettes, more toilet paper, more EVERYTHING, on top of higher utility bills and other expenses.
Right now, I am feeling overwhelmed at having to take care of an adult who for all intents and purposes, is going to need care for the rest of his life. Have applied for all the aid, and now can only play the waiting game. I am also the first offer and most practical choice for the kidney he is inevitably going to need. All we can do on this front, is delay the inevitable for as long as possible.....but, it is a fact that IS going to happen, and is rather scary to contemplate. Sister offered one of her's too, but what if I or my brother need it down the line? There IS nobody else in the family that falls within the donor criteria. It is not even close to an option to consider a donor from the general public, when I have one to give.
What is making me mad, and the reason for this post, is that all of this is triggering me. As a PTSD sufferer, stress is the last thing I can take, yet has been piled on in heaps in the last few weeks. It seems to me that since me and mine have willingly and lovingly taken in our sick sibling, the "adult" members somehow have seem to have disappeared from the face of the earth. There is no "what can we do to help", no offer of a bag of groceries, no gift card for Target or Walmart to offset the extra miscellaneous expenses. No offer of "do you need help with"........expensive, life-saving meds, pecialists office visits, or rides to the clinics.
The only positive: Mom has been more helpful than anybody. I also got to talk to her about how our bond was disturbed when I was born preemie, and how we both felt about it. How it had shaped our relationship and my life in particular. That was nice....and I feel closer to her than I ever have.
Needless to say, adding another adult to the family means more food, more cigarettes, more toilet paper, more EVERYTHING, on top of higher utility bills and other expenses.
Right now, I am feeling overwhelmed at having to take care of an adult who for all intents and purposes, is going to need care for the rest of his life. Have applied for all the aid, and now can only play the waiting game. I am also the first offer and most practical choice for the kidney he is inevitably going to need. All we can do on this front, is delay the inevitable for as long as possible.....but, it is a fact that IS going to happen, and is rather scary to contemplate. Sister offered one of her's too, but what if I or my brother need it down the line? There IS nobody else in the family that falls within the donor criteria. It is not even close to an option to consider a donor from the general public, when I have one to give.
What is making me mad, and the reason for this post, is that all of this is triggering me. As a PTSD sufferer, stress is the last thing I can take, yet has been piled on in heaps in the last few weeks. It seems to me that since me and mine have willingly and lovingly taken in our sick sibling, the "adult" members somehow have seem to have disappeared from the face of the earth. There is no "what can we do to help", no offer of a bag of groceries, no gift card for Target or Walmart to offset the extra miscellaneous expenses. No offer of "do you need help with"........expensive, life-saving meds, pecialists office visits, or rides to the clinics.
The only positive: Mom has been more helpful than anybody. I also got to talk to her about how our bond was disturbed when I was born preemie, and how we both felt about it. How it had shaped our relationship and my life in particular. That was nice....and I feel closer to her than I ever have.
