I'm new here.
I'm resuming therapy and medication after some time away. I have alot of things to work on and the more options I have for support and perspective, the better.
I've been diagnosed with major depression, BPD and PTSD. The BPD has eased some but I still struggle with many issues around that. The depression and PTSD seem always to be lurking, waiting to spring on me at my weaker moments.
I had many men in my life growing up. Some were abusive, some were just garden variety douchebags. None, one way or the other, could be counted on.
As a youngster I learned that the way to get by is to be silent and invisible. Evidence of my existence should be limited wherever possible. I learned to tread quietly and leave no trail. I learned that it did not matter who was doing what to whom (my brother and I fought like cats and dogs, and I usually ended up the worse for it)--the one who disturbed Mom was the one who got punished. I was a burden, an inconvenience.
All these things made me a very independent adult. To my detriment. I have an extremely limited ability to ask for things I need. If I can't serve a need on my own, it pretty much just doesn't get met. I'm finally catching on to how much this has hurt me.
I'm here to share my experience and perspective, and hopefully find a way to accept the gifts offered by other members here.
I'm resuming therapy and medication after some time away. I have alot of things to work on and the more options I have for support and perspective, the better.
I've been diagnosed with major depression, BPD and PTSD. The BPD has eased some but I still struggle with many issues around that. The depression and PTSD seem always to be lurking, waiting to spring on me at my weaker moments.
I had many men in my life growing up. Some were abusive, some were just garden variety douchebags. None, one way or the other, could be counted on.
As a youngster I learned that the way to get by is to be silent and invisible. Evidence of my existence should be limited wherever possible. I learned to tread quietly and leave no trail. I learned that it did not matter who was doing what to whom (my brother and I fought like cats and dogs, and I usually ended up the worse for it)--the one who disturbed Mom was the one who got punished. I was a burden, an inconvenience.
All these things made me a very independent adult. To my detriment. I have an extremely limited ability to ask for things I need. If I can't serve a need on my own, it pretty much just doesn't get met. I'm finally catching on to how much this has hurt me.
I'm here to share my experience and perspective, and hopefully find a way to accept the gifts offered by other members here.
