Resisting Medication

[hazen]

I am finally at a point where I think I need to ask my therapist for some prescription meds, but I could use some support from you folks to help nudge me in the right direction.

My PTSD has been affecting me more and more each day in that my anxiety levels are getting a bit crazy. I'm starting to question every decision that I make and I can't get rid of the anxious feeling that now seems permanently lodged in my chest. This feeling used to only come when I get in bed at night (much of the trauma I suffered came at the hands of my parents beating me at night) but now it happens constantly. All you have to do is mention bed, nighttime, or tell me to relax, and my body tenses. My neck is now hard to turn from being so tense all the time.

So far I have only been taking things like Benadryl, Nyquil, Unisom, or melatonin to help me sleep, but nothing seems to work that well. Also, none of these things do anything for my general anxiety.

I once took Lexapro for a very short amount of time many years ago before I was aware of my PTSD. I didn't like how I felt on it... I didn't feel happy, sad, angry, I just felt nothing. Also, climaxing in sex became nearly impossible. I only took it for a few weeks.

But at this point I am ready to try something again. Sleep is like torture.

I don't know why I am still resistant to the idea... I don't think anyone else is wrong for taking meds, but for some reason I don't apply this logic to me. I also watched my mother take anti-depression meds on-and-off again and she didn't do too well with them... but really I shouldn't be using my mother as a role model for anything. I don't know... I think I am also scared of side-effects and getting addicted to something. I should probably be more worried about the side effects of not sleeping well for 12 years.

Anyone have any suggestions for how I could approach this mentally to make the idea more appealing to me? Thanks for reading.

 

[jeeps for now]

I took anti-anxiety meds for several years, and the positive result was found in teaching me how to relax again. Be your own best advocate : Tell your therapist about your 24/7 anxiety, along with previous experiences using different substances. Not everything you try will work satisfactorily, but if you do find the right 'stuff', my guess is that you will be happy you tried it.

Good luck to you

 

[hazen]

I took anti-anxiety meds for several years, and the positive result was found in teaching me how to relax again.

That would be nice as I feel like that is something I don't know... relaxing. I don't do it much.

If they can do that I am all for it. It just seems hard to believe for some reason. But I need to try.

Thanks.

 

[IchBin]

If you haven't researched Stellate Ganglion Block as a treatment for PTSD, I would highly recommend you do so. I had it done ~2 weeks back and it has helped tremendously with some of the issues you report including anxiety, depression, and nightmares.

 

[cat]

Hi Hazen
I too resisted taking meds I put myself through a whole lot of extra stress by doing so, it wasnt until my T suggested that i was actually self harming by not giving them a try that i began to consider them. IEventually we did an EMDR session on taking meds & I had all sorts of worries about taking them, gaining weight, feeling like zombie, the shame of taking them, all of which were completely irrational. Like you my father took anti d's all his life & they gave him some scary side effects, but what we have to remember is that was a long time ago & meds are improving all the time.
I started taking citalopram 21/2 yrs ago & after the initial side effects they have been a great help especially during therapy as i was able to engage in the sessions without panicking.
I do understand your reluctance but you always have the option to stop taking them if you are not happy. Now i try to think that taking meds is replacing something my body is lacking in like a diabetic has to take insulin. Do try to give them a go the relief is wonderful!
The only thing Citalopram hasnt helped with is my sleep but i have also been prescribed Amitriptyline which does help me sleep but also reset my sleep patterns. They are non addicitive & have few side effects.
I hope my experience is a help, you really do not need to go on suffering, help is out there, you just have to ask for it.

 

[kimba]

cat- This is also what my therapist said. If you had heart disease you would want to take medication to help yourself stay alive, how is this any different? When she put it that way, it made it easier.

 

[hazen]

Thanks, cat and kimba, I appreciate the encouragement. I talked to my therapist about it yesterday and she walked me through what I need to do, and how I need to talk to the person that will be prescribing the meds.

I am going to be contacting a few psychiatrists to see when I can get an appointment... now I'm worried that it is going to be months before I get to see someone. If I'm going to try this I want to get started now. I know I could go to my family doctor but I would be alot more comfortable talking to a psychiatrist who isn't going to give me a medicine soup to take.

My main issue is sleep and I really think that if I was getting a decent amount I would not be so depressed and anxious. Thinking about getting in bed makes me anxious. If I knew that I could take something that would calm me down and knock me out, I'm hoping that would help with my general anxiety.

I am still worried about side effects but I guess there is no way around it. It sounds like for most of the people on the forum that the side effects aren't bad enough to stop anyone from taking their meds.

 

[Ron]

If I were you I would talk to a medical professional and get something for sure. There is no shame in that. I hope your anxiety goes away ! Good luck ! Sincerely, Ron.

 

[Ron]

I forgot to add that I have experienced anxiety ( and panic ), so I know exactly how you feel !

 

[hazen]

So I contacted 3 offices today. Was told by one that they don't take my insurance and had to leave voicemails at the other two.

Is it going to be months before I even get to see someone? Should I just make an appointment with my family doctor (who is a sports med specialist) and just hope he knows what he is doing with this? If I'm going to do this I want to start sooner than later!

 

[cat]

It would be worth discussing this with your family doctor, even if he doesn't prescribe meds at least it would put him in the picture about how you are feeling, maybe he can give you some extra support until you get a psych appointment.

You seem to be more settled about taking meds now & that is the best time to take them, half of our recovery is a positive attitude towards getting help.

Take care & stay strong

 

[kimba]

I finally made it to my family doctor today who is starting me on something today. He will followup with me in a month and we'll see how things are going. The relief to know I may finally be able to get a handle on myself is indescribable. Please try your regualr doctor if all else fails because the sooner someone can help, the better and they see more of us than we'd believe.