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Responses To Your Therapist That You Will Probably Never Say

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Something that has always frustrated me is that if I'm having a tough day I can't go over to mental health and just talk it out with somebody. The only way that I can walk into mental health and talk to somebody is if I feel like harming myself or others... Luckily there are a couple people here where I am that I can talk to when I'm having a rough day.
I was brutally honest in my therapy session today and I mentioned to her how it bothered me that I was told that I can't be seen unless I feel like harming myself or others and she said that the policy about that isn't set in concrete and if I'm really struggling and having a tough day then I can ask to be seen.
 
I'd like to tell him he was right about that reason I parted with him for.
And her she was getting wrong my headmate's reaction. Us letting us be visibly skittish around her? Was beginning to have some trust in her.
The other therapist, turned friend, I'd just like to thank in some words that make sense, for the hell she got me through. Ribbon down will do for a hat and for other years until I find words.
 
T: I think we need to get you mother out of the room
M: I have been trying to do that for over 20 years and she still is the louder part of my brain.
T: I think we could work together for 150 years to work through mom. I won't be around that long.
M: LMFAO is that considered validation ?
 
T: Why do you say you don't know
Me: Because I really have no way to convey that experience in words, scratch it, to convey that experience, in a language you'd understand, and you don't want to hear anything of it anyway, cue your body language every session we even touch that.

T: So how's your academia going
Me: ... So we're ignoring all the things I'm here for again.

T: You just like your victim role.
Me: Let's see how much you'll like your life after your child gets murdered. Just stop that babble bullshit about roles and get real.

... I'm still angry about that one.
 
:roflmao:@Simply Simon !!!

My therapist is very big on emphasizing that, when we are working on hard stuff regularly, he wants me to call him if I start having trouble managing the intrusive thoughts, or if I wake up disoriented, or if I start to heavily dissociate. I do understand why - he would like to attack it in the moment. And he considers this part of how his practice works. Ok.

But he uses a VoIP for his practice. This means that there are glitches sometimes.

(stick with me, the background is worth it...or at least, it's making me feel better to write it out.)

After every glitch, this is the conversation:

Me: 'It is very hard to reach out and call, because when I do so it means I'm admitting internally to reaching out for help - and the help then becomes something I need. But when I don't get through to you, it leaves me with a reinforced sense of how I can't count on people.'
Him: "Yes, absolutely. And what happened with the phone service has been fixed. It will never happen again."
Me: "You really shouldn't say that, because odds are, it will"
Him: "No, I really think we've been through all the possible problems"

What I say: "Ok"
What I want to say: "You foolish, foolish man".

And after an episode like one I had recently, where for some reason the VoIP didn't give him my messages until six hours later?

What I will say: "Would you consider giving me an alternate phone number?"
What I will want to say: "Get over yourself and give me a f*cking alternate number. Do you know I have both the home and cell numbers for my psych? She trusts me to not abuse them. She wants me to have them in case, god forbid, she doesn't hear her pager. Could you just please, be a f*cking adult, understand that I'll only use it when it's clear that your other system isn't working, and give me your legit cell number?"

(What is more ironic is that I already have it, because somehow once he forgot to block it. I did the right thing and didn't write it down, just let it get lost in the annals of my phone records. But I could find it again if I wanted. I should just tell him that.)
 
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