Leah Morgan
Gold Member
Big hugs x
-
We are a multilingual website again. Read the notice about this.
-
Understand AI use at MyPTSD: all AI use is explained in our AI help page. AI use is by choice here. It exists if you want it, but does nothing unless you choose to use it.
- Status
- Post starter
- #38
D
Deleted member 30331
Hi ItsKismet,
Judging from the number of responses to your thread, it seems as if many people are concerned about you. I did not read them all, but it seemed a few echoed what I might have said. There's one thing though that perhaps no one else has responded to. That was your rhetorical question whether an employer would hire a person with PTSD. The answer is a loud "MOST EMPLOYERS." And that means both good bosses and bad ones.The trick is for you to carefully choose your boss, more so than letting them choose you.
Some facts are that most PTSD survivors want respect and recognition more than the average person. That is a natural reaction to having been manipulated or made to feel worthless by self-serving people. And often, part of the survivor's history includes compliance under stress. All bosses want someone to count on for cooperation in the clenches. You may already know more about cooperation than most other people. You may have as much positive compliability as you have regrets of being used.
I'm retired now, but I had experience with both the good and the bad employers. It is a task to choose a rewarding profession where you can find joy in your work, AND have that rewarded by your boss and coworkers. But that can be done.
Do an honest inventory of your strengths and talents, study, and research your prospective employers for their management style to avoid bullies. Then be ready to commit to controlling your personal behavior to demonstrate your respect for a good employer. You may find that some of the qualities you have most despised about yourself are talents for withstanding the stresses that you are paid to surmount.
Just giving a pointer. Your success at choosing and performing a rewarding job can help raise your self-esteem remarkably.
Judging from the number of responses to your thread, it seems as if many people are concerned about you. I did not read them all, but it seemed a few echoed what I might have said. There's one thing though that perhaps no one else has responded to. That was your rhetorical question whether an employer would hire a person with PTSD. The answer is a loud "MOST EMPLOYERS." And that means both good bosses and bad ones.The trick is for you to carefully choose your boss, more so than letting them choose you.
Some facts are that most PTSD survivors want respect and recognition more than the average person. That is a natural reaction to having been manipulated or made to feel worthless by self-serving people. And often, part of the survivor's history includes compliance under stress. All bosses want someone to count on for cooperation in the clenches. You may already know more about cooperation than most other people. You may have as much positive compliability as you have regrets of being used.
I'm retired now, but I had experience with both the good and the bad employers. It is a task to choose a rewarding profession where you can find joy in your work, AND have that rewarded by your boss and coworkers. But that can be done.
Do an honest inventory of your strengths and talents, study, and research your prospective employers for their management style to avoid bullies. Then be ready to commit to controlling your personal behavior to demonstrate your respect for a good employer. You may find that some of the qualities you have most despised about yourself are talents for withstanding the stresses that you are paid to surmount.
Just giving a pointer. Your success at choosing and performing a rewarding job can help raise your self-esteem remarkably.
- Admin
- #39
anthony
Founder
I know... and the words didn't just flow easily. The member has a long history here with bullying members, intimidation, attacking, a long list. They would then come good, return, and be a very productive member of the community. But to say some of the things she has said to me and staff recently, she hasn't crossed the line with me, she jumped clear over it and kept on going.
The member has been upgraded to permanent ban here. They will not be back.
@anthony
:( I certainly understand there were things said that we're not ok. No excuse, however that is the disease talking. There have been times I have been at odds with kismet and would like to reach through the Internet and shake her, but I also have felt a bit sorry because the world must have a pretty tight choke hold... So, that said I am sending good mojo out into the universe for kismet and hope that things become more clear as the days progress. Maybe there will be a time where things work out and kismet can come back... Not my call and glad it's not! Sorry things got out of hand....
:( I certainly understand there were things said that we're not ok. No excuse, however that is the disease talking. There have been times I have been at odds with kismet and would like to reach through the Internet and shake her, but I also have felt a bit sorry because the world must have a pretty tight choke hold... So, that said I am sending good mojo out into the universe for kismet and hope that things become more clear as the days progress. Maybe there will be a time where things work out and kismet can come back... Not my call and glad it's not! Sorry things got out of hand....
Weemie
Diamond Member
i think what itskismet said to anthony was a seriously low blow, especially since as the mod of a mental health forum i am sure anthony knows that people here have probably committed suicide. not some huge blown out thing just the critical thinking of knowing you have had thousands of members and some simply don't say anything at all and then don't come back, i am sure some of them are gone. and it's tough, and hard, to be aware of that on some level, but you can't act to stop that shit. it's not anthony's job to stop people from killing themselves. and this isn't some abusive cult, anthony is a person who reacts just like anyone else so idt he was out of line at all. i would be upset, too. we have a sacred responsibility to ourselves to live the lives we can live, that we want to live. some people don't make it through, but you can't blame anyone else for that. definitely not an ok thing to say.
ground crew
Silver Member
Well, I am kinda retramatized.
joeylittle
Sponsor
@ground crew, I'm really sorry for that.
We have a rule against suicidal posting specifically because it is very, very upsetting for other members to be put into the role of crisis counselor. It's upsetting, it's not fair, and it's not what we can do well. What we can do well is listen to each other, and openly share our fears and our struggles. But threatening to end ones' own life in order to get back at someone - that's something that only tends to escalate the longer it is allowed to build. It is actually safer for people to walk away from the keyboard at that point and reach out for some in-real-life support, whether that's using your own crisis skills, calling a hotline, waking someone up, going to the hospital, or just letting the trigger dissipate, and then seeing where you are at.
I promise you, you're not responsible for anything that has happened in this situation, but I can understand how this feels bad. Sending you supportive thoughts.
We have a rule against suicidal posting specifically because it is very, very upsetting for other members to be put into the role of crisis counselor. It's upsetting, it's not fair, and it's not what we can do well. What we can do well is listen to each other, and openly share our fears and our struggles. But threatening to end ones' own life in order to get back at someone - that's something that only tends to escalate the longer it is allowed to build. It is actually safer for people to walk away from the keyboard at that point and reach out for some in-real-life support, whether that's using your own crisis skills, calling a hotline, waking someone up, going to the hospital, or just letting the trigger dissipate, and then seeing where you are at.
I promise you, you're not responsible for anything that has happened in this situation, but I can understand how this feels bad. Sending you supportive thoughts.
- Admin
- #45
anthony
Founder
We're here to help, and I'm sorry you feel that way. A mental health community can be very tough to be within at times, no doubt about it.
I personally feel it has more benefits though, than negatives.
- Admin
- #46
anthony
Founder
@joeylittle beat me to it...
ground crew
Silver Member
I have been wondering if it is a net good or bad to be out here. I get re triggered by a lot of the stuff I read. But mild re exposure should help with the extinction function, right? But this has been a long day. And there was another last weekend I think, dropped me, same topic. Maybe its just my stuff. I think this is a valuable resource on the whole, and thank you for providing it. I am just wondering for me. I am kind of thin skinned.
joeylittle
Sponsor
I think you need to listen to yourself, as you are doing right now. Yes, desensitization helps, and there's a lot of that here. As long as you stay in touch with where you are at, and respond accordingly, then I'd say you're doing pretty well. The diary is a good place to write this stuff out, too - sometimes just writing it out (whatever the 'it' is) goes a long way.
- Status
Similar posts
Donation drives
Trending content
-
-
What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?
- goingonhope
Comments: 34K -
-
-
-
