Returning Lurker

[19DLvr]

• GF... several years. Always thought of marriage licenses as a business contract and since recent DoD legal changes defining a caregiver/carer, am in no rush to wed.
• 'Kinders' are non existent, and feel it would be a disservice to bring any into this 'way of life'.
• His unit during deployments was w/ 3/7 Crazyhorse "nowatay" aka 'tip of the spear'. Severe AND Chronic PTSD now new & improved w/ TBI.... all for just three payments of $19.99.
• ^Obviously black humor is oft utilized in our home
• The relationship & life changes has brought on a spiritual experience .... I am Agnostic (former 'on fire Christian), now (post caseworker recommendation to meditate) albeit Zen/Eastern leaning. Some call it 'spontaneous kundalini' other cultures of course have their own terms for it. This 'journey' of supporting my partner, probably helped w/ the process.
• Military-brat (non-combat) but still dealt w/ the trained anger/control, and well lets just call a spade a spade "abuse".
• Never had issues w/ cheating/partying/disappearing... 'clingy' is another issue though.
• Drunken rages, road rage leading to running people off the road for altercations, firearms [resolved], having to do sign-language for crazy to prevent law enforcement from carting him off ... if I had a Benjamin for each time, would be waaaaay better off financially.
• Used to have local friends that were caregivers/carers. After trying for years they've tossed in the towel. Now I mostly vent on FB caregiver/carer groups.
• Looking to get one foot back in the 'old ways', holistic & organic healing. Don't care for 'Big Pharm' nor the long-term and permanent side-effects of their dope, but at the moment it'll have to suffice.
• Just had a very un-enjoyable T-day; so pardon any negativity/coldness in this (re)introduction. Hope everyone had a better holiday.

Namaste

 

[Paranoid10]

Dear 19DLvr,
Welcome to the forum. I am sure that you will find many resources and a support system to help you with these issues. Aside from popular belief, there are still good people in the world that are willing to help one another out. You will most likely find many of them here.

For what it is worth, I am a recently medically retired combat veteran who was discharged from the Army after receiving combat injuries, one of which is PTSD. Even though I am no "expert" on the subject, I can do my best to maybe give you some advice or insight about it. I am definitely here if you need me.

Respectfully, Paranoid10.

<Please remember to place a full line space between each paragraph>

 

[19DLvr]

Awesome and rapid reply, Paranoid10, Thank you for the welcome mat; and love your handle! I've been visiting the site for years; mostly on those difficult days just not certain when my membership was deleted (possibly inactivity). After realizing 'couple friends' we're divorcing/separating/breaking-up/redeploying/etc. Being a very private person in general (y'know those cold calculating goats/Capricorns) I don't feel comfortable sharing on FB, whatever I need to get off my chest. Still not sure what that 'whatever' is but it's the Holiday season, which usually means 'prime time'. Always appreciated this site, but it seems we're spiraling down as of late likely due to dwindling cognitive abilities, which then become triggers and depending on my level of patience, arguments at best... at worst 'total melt-downs'. Hence my return.

For the most part, I'm here to be part of the community w/in a community... to not feel alone/alienated. I read everything I can book/pamphlet/instructional-wise, but am starting to think they'd make better kindle. :cautious: Anyhow, I appreciate your reply P10. It's been a long day of cooking (from scratch as always), cleaning, w/ constant intermissions (like every 5 minutes) of being harassed.

All combat ptsd sufferers and carers are more than welcome to friend/follow me. Despite learning a lot from other causes of PTSD, I feel combat ptsd is a different bag all together, and each case is unique . (Maybe will elaborate more in a private setting.)

 

[Paranoid10]

Well my friend, as I said before, you are more than welcome. Your handle reveals quite a bit about your significant other as well. I have worked with Soldiers in his line of work as I used to be a combat medic (68W).

Coincidentally, I am also a Capricorn. lolol. I am a private person to an extent. However, I do feel a need to share experiences and maybe help others with this monster known as PTSD. You are definitely not alone in your struggle. I performed 8 years of service and 3 deployments to Iraq. I was first diagnosed with PTSD in March of 2004, upon my return from OIF 1. As the deployments continued, things didn't seem to get better. I think the toughest part for me was just admiting that I had a problem and seeking help for it. If I wouldn't have, I probably wouldn't be writing this right now to you.

Feel free to look around at the different resources, different forums, etc. If you feel more comfortable talking in private, you can always inbox me and I will do my best to help. Respectfully, Paranoid10.