Returning To Area Of Trauma For Extended Visit

[deer_in_headlights]

One of my violent "stalkers" drove right by me and then I was told how wonderful of a neighbor this piece of crap is.

Oh, Bec: having experienced this, too, with a "hometown" creepy stalker, wow... am I ever empathizing with you right now and recognizing what a huge trigger you experienced! Congratulations on managing it, and then your doing self-care afterwards. I'm not surprised you had nightmares.

You are doing beautifully, Bec!

Good luck when you go to see your grandfather. I'm so sorry. I hope it turns into a good experience for you both, even though the circumstances are so sad and difficult. It's wonderful that Dean will be with you for moral support.

Thinking of you, and cheering you on. Good luck with the rest of your visit, Bec!
Deer

 

[becvan]

Thanks deer!

Well I'm officially one day after I was supposed to head back home.. LOL we decided to stay for another week. There is just too many people to see and too much to get done. I am completely exhausted and realizing it's not going away. I haven't visited this much in years! No wonder I'm so tired!

I had a complete meltdown Saturday night, complete with suicidal thoughts and heart pains. I just could not deal with the whole ex-girlfriend thing anymore (more like stalker actually.) I called out to Dean in the middle of the night and asked him if I should go to the hospital or not (he's babysat me at my worst before so he knows what ugly looks like.) Just reaching out to him helped me realize that I was on complete overload. Really it was everything all at once that caught up with me. So we talked and then I finally slept. Sunday I felt like I had a stress hangover. I suffered with chest pains, migraines and exhaustion all day. I met the ex-girlfriend (stalker) and realized that I feel sorry for her. She is more messed up then I am. So that helped immensely and now I can view her behavior with some objectivity while still maintaining boundaries. Now I'm left with just dealing with stress overload from visiting.. lol

So I'm hoping for a more relaxed visiting week this week and head back to T.Bay on my birthday next Sunday. Will keep updating as I go.

bec

 

[cherryblossom]

It sounds like you are dealing with things. As you have said, you haven't done this much visiting for a long time. It's bound to take it's toll, but you are dealing with it as you go along, which seems really positive. I'm sorry to hear that you had a rough weekend. But on the whole it sounds like you are doing well, with support from Dean :tup:

 

[KP the nut]

Hi Bec, I've been following your journey and I'm so pleased you felt able to stay longer.

It sounds as if you and Dean have an amazing, trusting bond. And IMHO if you both have trust in one another, anything else can be overcome. It shows what a couageous and understanding person to have sympathy for the ex girlfriend.

I hope you had a pleasant visit to your Grandfather. It is hard to see someone for the first time after their health has become worse.

(((HUGS)))
KP