I can relate to that.
So, maybe having a conversation about how hard it is to communicate what's actually going on in your head is a place to start? I was just looking back, trying to see how I got started using email with my T the way we do. How I knew it was ok with him. He used to give me homework assignments and he made it clear that emailing about them was ok. Even now, HE sends ME emails sometimes. Or passes along articles he thinks I'd be interested in, etc. I've never really stopped to analyze this before. To begin with, he's comfortable using email to communicate. And then, he's clearly not a person who partitions his time so he ONLY is willing to deal with clients during an appointment. And, I suppose, he's interested enough in getting information he'll take it pretty much any way he can get it. I suspect he's also dealt with enough clients who aren't good a talking about stuff, that he KNOWS some clients aren't good at talking about stuff. If you want to communicate with them, you have to find out what actually works.
I suppose this comes down to the challenge of "How do I communicate the stuff I'm not sure I should say?" That's it, isn't it, whether or not you SHOULD say it, or have a right to say it? Something like that? Before you can really work on much else, it has to feel like communicating is safe. At least it's that way for me.
while I like my current T I am afraid of becoming attached as I worry that if I go down that road again I won't have self-control and I will try to rush to build the trust I previously had and seriously cross and damage boundaries.
I really think that's an issue where....... Well, this new T kind of needs to be aware of that because part of handling it has to come from his side. I'm grateful that I don't have to worry about my T's half of the "boundary" thing. He's made it quite clear he can take care of himself. I've gone through an evolution about that. When he first said it, I kind of thought, "Yeah right. Sure you can. This is a trick, isn't it?" He can, and it wasn't. LOL But, you have to test it out to get comfortable with that. If this new T is aware of how you feel about this, it will be easier for him to demonstrate that he can handle his own boundaries. (Or not, I suppose.)
