well... you've got some points there.
i know my posts motivated yours, and i agree with some parts of what you say, but what i mean is that not every S&M relationship is a stable couple that take a role each and interact in this manner all the time.
i believe there are lots of grays to this. some of them i could mention are:
some actual S&M couples have sex in this way because they get off at it, but outside of sex the "S" part is not dominant of the "M" part... they both act like grown adults who take their own decisions freely and there is no "if you loved me" beyond the sex part. because they leave the mind games out ONLY through sexual play.
plus, 90% of the guys who hire dominatrices are not abused people who can't just wish other thing. they are healthy successful professionals who's position in life is to make all the decisions and always take the lead, and want to take a break from it through play... they want to be able not to decide for a while, it's appealing to them, and they go for it. and then, when they leave their domme's realm, they're back to their life of being in charge of everything.
what i meant by my posts was that i don't think it's good to be so judgmental about other people's sexual fantasies. we get off at what we get off. some people get off at being hurt. of those people, some go to therapy to try and reprogram themselves so they don't anymore, some find a way to let it out through play (S&M is a lot about acting) so it won't control the rest of their lives, and some just go and find a wife beater they can marry and end up really hurt. i believe that the first two choices are preferable.
again i would like to clarify that i know that not every S&M couple does it in a healthy way. Some people do not talk enough about what they want or not and end up getting what they didn't, some go way beyond the limit of momentary pain and end up badly hurt.
but i know some people actually discusses what they want to feel, when and how, only take part in S&M sessions with people they trust, uses safety words, and has a good time enjoying it healthily, and i respect their right to.
i know my posts motivated yours, and i agree with some parts of what you say, but what i mean is that not every S&M relationship is a stable couple that take a role each and interact in this manner all the time.
i believe there are lots of grays to this. some of them i could mention are:
some actual S&M couples have sex in this way because they get off at it, but outside of sex the "S" part is not dominant of the "M" part... they both act like grown adults who take their own decisions freely and there is no "if you loved me" beyond the sex part. because they leave the mind games out ONLY through sexual play.
plus, 90% of the guys who hire dominatrices are not abused people who can't just wish other thing. they are healthy successful professionals who's position in life is to make all the decisions and always take the lead, and want to take a break from it through play... they want to be able not to decide for a while, it's appealing to them, and they go for it. and then, when they leave their domme's realm, they're back to their life of being in charge of everything.
what i meant by my posts was that i don't think it's good to be so judgmental about other people's sexual fantasies. we get off at what we get off. some people get off at being hurt. of those people, some go to therapy to try and reprogram themselves so they don't anymore, some find a way to let it out through play (S&M is a lot about acting) so it won't control the rest of their lives, and some just go and find a wife beater they can marry and end up really hurt. i believe that the first two choices are preferable.
again i would like to clarify that i know that not every S&M couple does it in a healthy way. Some people do not talk enough about what they want or not and end up getting what they didn't, some go way beyond the limit of momentary pain and end up badly hurt.
but i know some people actually discusses what they want to feel, when and how, only take part in S&M sessions with people they trust, uses safety words, and has a good time enjoying it healthily, and i respect their right to.