S.o.s - Im Going Mad

[Bloomy]

So work counsler got me a under wage paid job at at daily shop.
After a lot of fighting witin myself I accepted my temporary destiny,

I got sick leave from day 1 since I fell and broke my fingers and some.

After two weeks sickleave now Im trying to get back and boss told me I must do courses first.

Im trying but failing every time. I ask for help from him but dont get any. He says Ill get fired If I dont do the courses. Workcounsler is on sick leave and anyway Its all my fault cause Im not trying hard enough .

Today there was also teqnical problem with two of the courses I must do. Boss said there was nothing wrong with the courses, but with me. That the teqnical problem is my head. I tried again and didnt suceed. So then he ask me you are not good in your head are you. What the - - - - Im I gonna say to that.

He didnt call the company to ask if there was something wrong with the course, but let it up to me to do so. When I ask for the phonenumber he said its in his office. Ill see it if I go there. Ive finally found it. Called. Had to go through the course again for the 10th time to demonstate what was wrong. And yes there was a teqnical problem with the course.

Then I tried to do another one that functions proper. You must answer correct 20 of 20. I keep missing the 1 question. Ive now done the same course about 12 times.

I just remembered that anyway I only got a 6 months contract. Is it really worth it when this is just making me feel like the most incomepetent stupid f*cked up pice of shit worthless under paid iditot in the world?

I said I would do this as chanse to get back to work life. I will swallow all the camels youll ask me to.

But is it getting to much................................................

 

[Nikie]

Huggss bloomy
Yes it sounds like you are having a difficult time .. I really do not know what to say.
I known it you have work you get better work more easy.. I know you feel strongly underpaid and like you don't want to work there . But what if you can try and feel a tiny bit more positive and just do your best for the next 5 an a 1/2 months then you might get a better job ..

I believed in you and that you can make that test just tell your self this is a test relax and do your best don't digg to deep just do what you feel is right.
Be kind to yourself you are a good person!! :hug:

 

[Bloomy]

Ive done the test 12 times - the other test also 12 times :cry::cry::cry: and the others test I dont even want to mention :banghead::banghead::banghead::cry::cry::cry:

Im really trying what you are saying Nikie really really really but right now Im about to loose my mind of all the trying :banghead::banghead::banghead::bawling:

I must add - i had a better job as what comes to work task. As trainer for three for years. Think thats why its hard to accept this downfall. My trainer examen was supposed to be way harder then this, but you only have to pass 80%. To work in a store youll need 100% .