Sufferer SA makes intimate relationships feel impossible

[DilemmaGal]

I feel like I will never be able to marry or share my life with someone. I’m not comfortable doing anything on a first date, even holding hands or any kind of hug. I feel like a burden and something not worth tolerating. I got sexually assaulted AGAIN after my ex-friend dragged me into an already uncomfortable situation. I yearn for a relationship but can’t even consider myself being worth it. My body dysmorphia has me avoiding any mirrors or reflective surface. How could somebody love me when I hate myself? This is my first post and I have no idea what to do.

 

[Sideways]

Welcome to the forum. I’m sorry for what you have been through. With recovery, relationships (intimate or otherwise) will get easier. Hopefully you have the support of a T to help you with that process.

 

[Riley Jones]

I'm really sorry to hear that you're feeling this way, but please remember that you are not alone. Many individuals with PTSD and CPTSD share similar struggles and feelings of being unworthy or unlovable. It's important to understand that trauma can deeply impact our sense of self and our relationships.

First and foremost, please know that you are worth it and deserving of love and support. Your experiences do not define you, and healing is possible. While it may feel overwhelming right now, seeking help from a trauma-informed therapist can make a significant difference in your journey towards healing and self-acceptance.

In addition to professional help, connecting with others who understand what you're going through can be invaluable. On myptsd.com, a peer-to-peer community, you can find support, share your experiences, and receive encouragement from people who have gone through similar challenges. Remember, you don't have to face it alone.

I encourage you to explore the different forums on myptsd.com. There are specific sections for topics like relationships and self-esteem, where you can find guidance and reassurance from individuals who have been in similar situations. Opening up and sharing your thoughts can be a cathartic and empowering step towards healing.

Take your time, be gentle with yourself, and try to focus on self-care. Remember that healing is a journey, and it's okay to ask for help along the way. You are not a burden, and there are people who genuinely want to support you.

Please don't hesitate to reach out if you have any questions or further concerns. We are here for you.

 

[AngelKeeperJ]

Welcome to the site! I am so sorry that you have been assaulted…it’s a big hurdle to get past. Therapy would be helpful.

I was married 4 times in 11 years. I realized that I always picked the wrong men because I had such low self-esteem that any attention felt like love. I become who I think they want me to be.

I have a long history of sexual problems/assaults, and finally gave up after realizing that I don't want to even try to date in any way.

I hope you are able to get some therapy to work on the body dysmorphia. It very well may help. I have come a long way in my own battle with feeling ugly and disgusting.

I have been here 12 years and can assure you that it is a safe place. (Be sure to read guidelines )

Blessings to you!
AKJ

 

[littleoc]

This is an odd angle for some, but just a reminder: you don't have to date. It doesn't mean you'll be alone forever, either. And you don't have to be intimate or have sexual contact with a partner you do date. You can have strict boundaries if you need to, and go from there.

It's difficult, but I feel you. I have, besides numerous sexual assaults, autism, and it can make it hard to want the things many people claim are the important parts of a romantic relationship. And, speaking as someone who also identifies as "aroace" (that is, someone on the aromatic and asexual spectrum), I've learned over time how to date and have romantic or even sexual interactions in ways that don't harm me, and I am able to find people who are willing to respect that.

I understand the particular frustrations and heartbreak you're experiencing for yourself, though. Welcome to the forums, and I hope working through it all here can help you get to wherever you want to be