Same crap different day - therapist on vacation

[Punky143]

I can write that my T is on vacation next week and how it screws my parts up etc but what's the point? None. Why? Lived my entire crap life like this. Never changes. Yea, took dbt twice and yea remind me I know skills too.
It feels like they are now held against me. How can one go from 2 appts a week plus any others to 0? It's being told- if you need coaching call. I usually don't because just the thought someone there is enough to settle some. It's too bad there's not a single person to touch base with even once. But nope. I hate this more than any other stupid symptoms. I can't help but believe the only way to get help is to go over the edge like I have before. Only some people know what I'm talking about, the sh***feeling that never goes away no matter what we do. What's the quality of living life like this. I have no idea.

 

[Ronin]

What is different this time?

And, nope. Going over the edge is not on the table. You already did something healthier in coming to post about it, and about the same thing being an issue still, in some variant. What is happening right now?

 

[Punky143]

I'm miserable, trapped, tortured by my mind, have done everything taught- over and over again everyday and get the same result in the end. No one wants to hear it or just plain ignore it despite efforts to communicate. It's too late- years ago people tried helping so too bad so sad.

 

[Hopeforlife]

It’s not too late. Its your chance to really see how you cope the next week or so. If you are really struggling please contact your go, support line etc. I can relate, I won’t see my T for another week and a half and I am already panicking. One day at a time. Hugs if you accept.

 

[Punky143]

I don't have a go to person. I don't get that luxury.

 

[MyWillow]

Yeah I’ve just had two appointments a month apart so I feel your pain. It’s so damn hard - anxiety and depression spiking, life pressures mounting up, family being @r$eholes, no sleep, nightmares. Finally seeing my T on Friday but there’s a strong part of me telling me to keep my mouth shut and suck it up.

 

[Punky143]

Most miserable feeling and worse knowing no one gets it no matter what other than people on here

 

[whiteraven]

Most miserable feeling and worse knowing no one gets it no matter what other than people on here[/QUOT...

I could have written every single thing you did in these posts, @Punky143. I say this stuff to myself all the time. My T was off for one, there for two, then off for two. Now he's going to be off again, on one of my anniversary dates. And doesn't seem to understand how that affects me, even though I've talked about it ad nauseum.

So sorry you're struggling. I get you. We get you. But sometimes that's not enough, is it?