Scared About Therapy

[DiamondBug]

I am really scared about therapy tomorrow. I always am. I get really heightened anxiety leading up to it. I am heart racing, sweaty palm, super on edge mess in the waiting room. I really struggle to talk about things I really need to talk about. I sometimes walk out of sessions like I've wasted it talking about minimal issues, not about the things that overcome my thoughts. All my therapist says is "how have you been?" And then I just have to go from there. He will occasionally ask questions and add his view, but it's normally me just breaking down. My sessions are 45 minutes every week. I feel like I have to rush to get all the things out I need to say, then I realise I've not spoken about half of the stuff I needed to. I don't do this on purpose, I just can't just bring up some of my childhood and stuff in a flash and talk about it as if it's a comfortable subject. I don't know how to get round this? I've had a bad experience with a therapist writing something down, so I always back out. I couldn't imagine actually writing and letting my therapist actually read some of my abuse as words, I know that sounds weird. I think it is related to that bad therapist experience though. I don't know what I can do to help myself with it, it's so frustrating because it's so important do me to talk about this. How can I push past this?

 

[Copper Princess]

I wish you luck with this. I don't know how to do it either. My therapist usually asks me questions to get me to talk about things sometimes it does not work. When I first started therapy I told one story as if I was a character in the story. It does not always work either. I hope it goes well.

 

[Bristol]

I am really scared about therapy tomorrow. I always am. I get really heightened anxiety leading up t...

I get like this too and have tonight had my first ok session where i felt better coming out than i did going in, all i did was try and be a bit more open to it, i said what came up in my head without trying to plan it all, without trying to play the game as i see it, we just chatted and ok it wasnt about the abuse specifically or recounting any memories etc but i did talk about how it affects me on a day to day level the stuff i normally keep secret. I think you just have to try and treat it like conversation but this is the only good one i have done, next weeks might be useless!

 

[heyheyhey]

Hi Diamondbug :)! Sorry that you are struggling. Maybe it would help to just give yourself time, if you're not ready yet, you're not ready yet: it doesn't mean you never will be. It's hard, but try not to push yourself or get frustrated with yourself, there's a part of you that is acting out of self-protection :).

 

[desiderata310]

One thing that I have found helps is to write what needs to be covered. I email mine prior but you can always hand it to your therapist when you walk in the door.